I always think she is cheating and I dont have trust issues

[babaniyen]

I love my girlfriend very very very much but her vibe gives me grave concern. First, she is extremely beautiful, which in of itself is not a bad thing but then when I combined her beauty with her beliefs, I get sh** scared.

She has told me a lot of things about herself that I can't seem to shake off. She loves the company of men and has a LOT of male friends, they are so many that I don't even know half of them. It gets worse as she recently told me that she can undress in the presence of some of her male friends and they undress in her presence. She watches porn a lot and not just regular porn, she watches porn with big d**ks and brags to me about how much she loves to see a big d**k. Now I am not endowed by any means and she has told me, the first day we got intimate, that I am too small. The other day, I found condoms in her apartment but she claimed that it had been there for years.. She once told me that her fantasy is to have a threesome with two guys with huge d**ks. She has no problem meeting guys and visiting them in their homes alone etc etc.

All the things said above makes me question her potential to be a loyal wife. She has done so much unconservative things in her past that it makes it had to trust her future. That said however, I have never caught her cheating on me but she has cheated on her boyfriend in the past.

I really love this girl and I want to marry her. I really need help with knowing how to handle the situation at hand.

[Roady]

Hey, great you're posting here, and thanks for your honesty.

You say she hasn't cheated on you right?

Let me tell you: every time she is watching porn, she is cheating on you in her heart.
It's only a matter of time before her thoughts become truth.

This lady is very haughty and arrogant in my opinion.
She is creating a cruel and horrible life for herself. As an ex-porn addict I know how incredible destructive that is.
It is breaking down your believe system, it is blocking your real emotions, your thoughts are changing, every time you watch porn, you're building walls around your heart. Your self-esteem is getting lower and lower.
it's all about lust, and absolutely nothing about love. Porn is a killer to intimity. It creates a false "self".
I promise you, she is on the way to total destruction of her own life. Do you really want to share your life with such a person?

I feel sorry for you, but she didn't care anything about you.
You are just one out of several men she can get right?

What actually is wrong with your self-worth?
Why aren''t the alarm bells ringing in your heart if she is doing these things you describe here?

I guess you are only staying because of her "beauty" aren't you?
In this sick world beauty is what is important, because it sells, It's about money. But real beauty is totally different.
Or do you really think that the worth of a "beautiful one" is more than "a girl who looks just normal"?

If I were you, strength your back, and run.
That would be the healthiest thing for your self-esteem at the moment.

[Introspectah]

'




Yeah geezah, to be strictly honest with you, she's been asking you to seriously step up your game, with all these subliminal clues which may seriously offend or appal any sensitive man.

Look, although she might have a serious crush on the cucumber, [who could blame her? i wouldn't] she would not be so ferociously lusting for a monstruously sized one were you to be able to satisfy her properly.

So either way this'll be a hard lesson for you.

In my view, the best option to undertake here, is to admit to your own weakness and ignorance when it comes to the female's ways, quirks, pleasures and sensibilities [as they love sex as much as men do, y'know, perhaps even more profoundly than we are capable of] (...) only then, after you humbly confess your weakness, will you be able to grow into becoming a man who can please all of her appetites without the obelisk in charge, y'know.

All signs of hers point the way to a message conveying that she is sexually deeply unsatisfied with you, so in the case of a man, it'd be quite socially acceptable for him to fantasize about hooking up with another woman, yet when a woman does [in an admittedly provocatively explicit manner] she's troubled and perverted.

Her fetish simply reveals an essential dissatisfaction which can perfectly be resolved by other means.

Are you aware that the majority of women reach orgasm by clitoris stimulation and hardly ever are able to resolve climax even when being penetrated by the most humongous?

With all due respect, 'ts time to initiate your self into the nature of womanhood, my man.




'

[brian101]

I'd hate to break it to you but she's no good and I would stay clear from her as from what you've said she has definitely cheated on you. You may not want to hear this but it's the honest truth. Think about it. A good looking girl that enjoys the company of other men, can undress in front of them, watches porn and to top it all off she has condoms in her apartment (assuming she hasn't used them with you).... and to top that off she tells you she like big cocks?! Well I don't know what to say.

Three things you should do. One is break up with her. She's a cheater and obviously doesn't respect you. No good can come out of a relationship with her, she'll screw with your head.

Two. Find out what it takes to be a man with a strong back bone and has boundaries, this will come with experience and having the right role models.

And lastly surround yourself with other woman then you won't find yourself putting any woman on a pedestal because you would have learnt what makes them tick and how to keep them wanting you to be around them because you've become a man they respect.

These are harsh words but if what your initial post said is true then you really need to hear them.

[anon1989]

A few things...
1- Just because a woman tells you they like large men and they watch porn doesn't make them a cheater.

2- A person who tells you you're "too small" doesn't seem to care much about your feelings, so I'd be questioning their feelings about you.

3- If this is your girlfriend, you need to let her know it's inappropriate for her to be getting dressed/undressed in front of other men, and the same goes for her being with other men when they're getting dressed/undressed. If she doesn't respect that, tell her that's a deal breaker and end the relationship, or she will continue treating you like a doormat and doing things that show she doesn't respect your relationship.

[Livetowin]

Irregardless of where these opinions on the phallus fall, what absorbs all of them fully is the perspective you have (at bare minimum) a capability problem here. Not only in terms of what you desire versus what she seeks, but also a goal driven environment that indicates she is not interested in kneeling in a garden next to you planting forget-me-nots as much as wanting to be donkey up under a mule.

I think before you get lost in her little game of defining who you are, you should ask yourself that question and step back from playing her lapdog and understand the only authority she has is only what you give her. Quit catering to her obsessions and imposed restrictions of who you are and understand she is just another person with her own problems (many as it would seem). Unless you are auditioning to be her gimp, I think you most likely require someone of greater substance.