Manager Bust Up At Work

Postby mmacc2011 » Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:32 am


Weirdest thing happens at work this morning. I opened up and noticed the kitchen wasn't done so checked the rota and dropped a friendly message theough our email system to get an email sent company wide just asking some people to help a little more.

It was exceptionally friendly but the Head of the department on the rota for this week pulled me aside an hour or so after and started ripping into me. He is far more of a senior position than me but Ive been here longer and witnessed people get ill from the messy kitchen hence my pushing.

He ripped into me in front of the office accusing me of stuff that wasn't true and making things out to be disaster when they're not. He said he is too busy and walked out on me like he was too important to speak to me.

What do i do? He was so rude for a head of department. Id never dream of speaking to a colleague like that. is it my issue to worry about? apparnetly some others have had similar experiences with his cold snappy nature. What do I do? Not speak to him again? Make a formal complaint?
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Postby Introspectah » Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:49 am


When you're in a placid, composed state of mind, take a look for him to discern whether he's perceptibly calm as well, and just make an attempt to ask the questions on your mind without making him feel entirely offended by your advances.

It's a tricky thing to master though, something for which i've needed quite a lot of hard lessons in order for me to realize how to best approach someone after a heated argument or even in the very midst of it occuring or it being about to occur.

So it's quite impossible for me to give proper advice here as there are just waaay too many variables to take into account before i could give some appropriate feedback.

As a general rule, though, i always suggest to realize that you could very well lay out all these questions, to which you would like other people to provide the answer, towards him, as normally he is the one who's best suited to clearing up the confusion.

Also, as far as i'm concerned, you should definitely take into consideration that he might've been dealing with some grave shiet in his private life; like being on the precipice of a divorce or being deeply emotionally fed up with his partner, brother, mother, father, .... feeling incapable as a supervisor or whatever whatever, y'know.

You never know what might be the cause of someone's seemingly irrational behaviour, though you might often safely bet on the fact that it had little to nothing to do with you.

So would you be capable to step outside of your perspective for a moment and consider this might've had nothing to do with you at all (?) and that all he needed to erupt was the slightest of stimuli that could've been emitted by whoever.
Or, conversely, the particular trait of behaviour which had set him off might indeed have been something quite unique to you, in which case it'd also beneficial for all involved for you to simply ask what's on your mind, as respectably as you can manage.

You decide what's most appropriate for this case.
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Postby Ceri » Thu Jun 22, 2017 5:18 pm

Hi - I'm Ceri.
I don't want to respond to the thread's subject and I realise it's a strange way to contact, but I wanted to contact about a previous subject and thought there'd be more chance of you reading if I responded in a more recent post.
I read what you said about your destruction fixation. If you'd like to share, I'd be interested to hear about it. I'd tend to ask questions like - You say you're not angry - could you identify what the essence of your tendency is? Are you afraid you'll accidentally destroy things? - eg - out of clumsiness? Is it something you'd like to do if there were no consequences?
Please contact if you feel like talking.
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