I'm kind but people glare?

Postby xEmily123x » Mon Nov 14, 2016 1:54 am

Hi! I don't understand why people treat me the way they do.

So after giving a speech today (it was my first one ever.) I had lots of happy people come up to me and tell me I did great, and they were suprised it was my first speech.
"It was so great."
"It sounded like you've been speaking your entire life!"
So lots of good stuff.
But the energy....
It felt exhausted.
Happy, but exhausted with the speech. And me.
Its the same feeling people give me personally is that im exhausting or annoying to be around.
I'm not high energy, but I certainly do have a good attitude.

People will tell me I'm beautiful. Gorgeous. That I look like a model. They stare when I walk in (i usually didnt notice until someone pointed it out...sometimes im oblivious)
I'm very nice, kind and happy with people, and a bit nerdy when I let loose lol
But what I dont get is why people treat me the way they do. (Im a girl btw!)

After my speech everyone...got weird around me, like they listened to me, they watched my every movement and I essentially controlled the rooms emotions it was weird. But The room felt exhausted. Rather than enthusiastic.
So i didnt get it. I dont want people to be exhausted lol

It feels like at first people will be near me, but slowly they leave as if they found out something awkward or weird about me.
Like instead of coming TO me, theyre nervous, or cautious, "i dont know about her" type of vibe.
I want people to be MAGNETIZED to me! Not just stare at me and stay away!
They won't hang with me, even if I'm in the group, theyll chat and talk, but not much else. They'll look up to me and be inspired and feel like they have to get better around me. they consider me courageous and kind.

But i litterally have no friends.
Like in the sense of calling and hanging out, going to get food, going to shop etc.
The only people who do are weird guys, that are nice, but weird.
Im comfortable around them though because i used to be a gamer, so maybe thats why?

I cant tell if its them being nervous about themselves or if its me.
I honestly think its them because when I try to make them comfortable they become comfortable, but theyre still so nervous about themselves it becomes exhausting to be around them to constantly cheer them up.
Maybe I'm just around very low calibur people and am too nervous to step it up a notch and find high quality people?
I dunno.

I've had a few comments from others about myself
1. That they think i think im better than everyone
2. Girls will all form groups and be happy with eachother but exclude me, leaving me with mostly male friends.
3. Glares, glares glares of mean eyes towards me, or they think ill steal their bf or their crush...like...what do i do to make them stop thinking this? I dont even care.
4. I did have a know it all issue when i was younger, maybe some of its coming out.

It feels like a wall is between me and other people this invisible wall.
I hug people, i talk, I smile, I act charming but still nothing.

I dont know if people like me, hate me, or are just too dang mean.

I like to be by myself though..

But anyways.

What can i do to my talks to make them less exhausting, and what can i do to myself to be less exhausting to others?
What can I do to make my relationships better and get rid of this wall? (Basics are down so I dont know what it is)
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Postby Crankor » Mon Nov 14, 2016 2:40 am

As you get older you see a more definitive difference with what people say and how they really feel. I wouldn't say that people hate you but people can be very judgemental. Not sure if this was a work related or school related but something to consider, How you are and how people perceive you to be can be very different. When from your standpoint, taking alot of effort and being nervous with your first speech, others will agree that it was a god speech but could possibly have a hint of jealousy thus making them nitpick at every other aspect of your actions and not caring to understand or realize your intentions. Thats just a possible scenario ofcourse.

Can't say much about making relationships better since i myself just accept the much different society now than i remember where people generally don't care to talk about more personal matters (and i don't mean complaining), which to me is what makes a friend vs an acquaintance. Again thats just my own view. What would probably help though is try to hangout with certain people you get along with outside of work or school and see how that goes.

I am guilty myself for avoiding girls as friends more often than not similar to yourself because i'm weary of their intentions. An example, they are in a relationship but act flirty around me at work. II don't have much interest in someone like that since to me they are just playing around to see what they can get away with or do and so i end up just never really taking them seriously.
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