Withdrawl

#45

Postby LoosingItAll » Wed Jan 18, 2017 6:55 am

SWL
some of the people on this forum are very far ahead in this journey, and are starting to see some peace in their lives. Most of us are right with you. We are suffering. Suffering from our minds screaming to give us our fix, suffering from all the things and people we have ignored, neglected and hurt. Suffering from the feelings we have been shutting down for years.

I just got to day 11. It is a huge Rollercoaster of anger, self-hatred, self-pity, depression and dispear. That's not counting the withdrawal symptoms.

What I think helps me most is writing on this forum, encouraging people like me to not give in. I have also found coming clean to the important people in my life. Last night I called my mum and told her I needed to talk. I can't tell you the fear and self-hatred I had driving to her home. She listened, cried with me, told me she loved me and would help in anyway.

Today I came clean to my doctor. We have a very close relationship. I have provided eye care to her, her family, and patients for almost 20 years and she has provided medical care to me and my family for the same time.

When I got to the office this morning, I broke down in the truck. I knew what I had to do but i was so ashamed and scared of how she would react. I composed myself, went in a left a note on her desk we needed to talk after seeing our patients for the day.

Talking with her lifted my spirits. She did not judge me, she cried with me but then did something no one has ever done before. She asked if she could pray for me. Through my tears I told her I had never had a relationship with God. She smiled and said God has always loved me and has just been waiting until I was ready.

I will beat this, you will beat this, we all will. Understand this will be the hardest thing you have ever done. You will suffer, you will have moments of joy and more suffering. Unfortunately it doesn't get easier everyday. But soon, I hope for all of us, this dispear will be replaced with joy someday.

Don't give in to your demons, seek help from those who care about you.

I will attend my first Marijuana anonymous meeting tomorrow. Step by step, but never backward.
LoosingItAll
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Posts: 36
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#46

Postby S.W.L » Sun Apr 02, 2017 7:45 am

Hi All.

I haven't been on here since January, things have been extremely tough for me, however I'm ready to face the world again and get better once and for all. Hope you all done well and continue to do so. Will be back on shortly
S.W.L
Junior Member
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:59 pm
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