Clean after 16 years of cannabis abuse

#30

Postby LoosingItAll » Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:08 pm

I hope your weekend is going well. Unfortunately still single but fortunately still sober. My mum has been incredibly. Helping anyway she can. Talking and listening when I need it but giving me my space when she can sense I don't want to talk.

Still having a hard time eating well but trying to snack to keep up my strength. Sleep is a little better. According to mum, she hasnt heard me snore once. It used to be so bad i would wake my son on the other side of the house.

No cravings for the green demon. I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks. I never thought I had the strength to go just 1 day.

Take it step by step, but never backwards.
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#31

Postby dillyp70 » Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:34 pm

Same here mate
Feeling strong now.
I no I don't need it can't believe it took all them years to realise that.
But its a learning curve as they say.
I had a really hard day Thursday 9 month old was severely dehydrated from 6days of diahoria he got admitted to hospita meaning partner stays leaving me stressed at home with eldest son.
On way home I stop at mates from work and tell him I won't be picking him up in morning long story short he says here is a bongs worth calm you down...... I actually said NO lol was so proud of myself.

I feel my head is clearing am laughing more and starting to feel my head clear a little if that makes sense
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#32

Postby LoosingItAll » Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:17 pm

I hope they took good care of your little one and he's back at home now.

We are all proud of you for turning down the bong hit. I made it to the MA meeting last night. Definitely will go back next week.

I stayed with my wife's sister and her husband last night. He is a smoker but not like us. He probably has more non smoking friends than stoners. I know exactly where he keeps his stash out in the garage. It would have been so easy to have taken a couple bong hits after they went to bed. But I had no desire to do so.

The cravings have definitely subsided, but my body still feels off.

I'm going to watch football with my son tonight. Last round of playoffs before the Superbowl so should be fun.

Can't believe it has been 2 weeks.
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#33

Postby LoosingItAll » Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:12 am

Haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope everything is going well. My doc but me on Lexapro last week and the side effects were wicked. Tried to work through them but decided to quit them yesterday. I can't remember a time when my brain felt so clear. Been trying to quit smoking cigarettes as well and with the help of the nicotine patch on my rear, I haven't smoked them in 2 days.

The wife finally came clean with me yesterday. She has no intention of trying to reconcile our marriage. She strung me along because she didn't think I could take the truth. It sucks but slowly getting better.

Fortunately I'm a skinny guy with a crazy fast metabolism so I think the weed has mostly cleared my system. Starting to sleep a little better and the night sweats aren't as bad.

I'm also happy to know my story may have saved 2 marriages from going down in flames like mine.

Keep me posted dilly. BTW, my name is Jeremy and I live in Texas but was born in Huntingdon. A year from now, if I can muster the courage to get on an airplane, I might fly over and we can all have a big, boring, drug free party.
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#34

Postby slick_willy » Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:25 am

Hwy loosingitall and dillyp, I just read the end of this thread but I wanted to give you guys props for quitting and hopefully a little bit of hope. I quit just over ten months ago and feel WAY the **** better, although not at 100% yet. I am in a way better spot than in the beginning and it was insanely hard for me, things didn't feel real and my emotions amd sh** were blurry and I couldn't feel them, and that stuff is slowly but surely coming back. Also to whoever mentioned lexapro, I got on a low dose 5 months ago and it helped make the withdrawal easier. It doesn't take away all the suck, I think we have to go through some of it to learn our lesson you know? But it definitely helped me so give it a try if you think it would help. I had a horrible time getting to sleep when I went on it but now its way better and I notice ZERO side effects.

Hope that helps, good luck to you guys
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#35

Postby ryan1685 » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:20 am

I see that a lot of you have kids and wives that you are trying to do this for but I have nothing. I have never had any real friends. I have never really ever had a girlfriend and that is pathetic seeing I am 32 years of age. I have neurofibromatosis, so I am very unappealing when it comes to physical characteristics, I have been bullied on what seems like a daily basis since I was a kid. My mom even told me a story about when I was a baby and how these teenagers came up to her and said " what an ugly baby". So I question myself on what is the point of quitting weed? It is not like its going to take this terrible disease away and I am still going to be a social outcast. I do have a bachelor degree in accounting, but have been unable to secure a job in the public accounting field. Sadly it is predominately dominated by attractive young females and so are the HR departments. The only reason why I have decided to quit is because after 30 plus years of operations, before Christmas of last year my family business went tits up and I forced for the first time ever in my life to be solely dependent on me. I have no friends to live with, no parents to move in with. Its grow the **** and hold my own or end back up on the streets again - and I never want experience that sh** again. So it has been 8 days now of sobriety. I am unemployed for now, so I sleep whenever I want, but I know it will eventually become a problem. I have rented the upstairs of my house and now live in the basement suite, but even with subsidized rent, I am a month away from not being able to make my share of the mortgage payment. I am scared, but hopefully being straight will improve my chances for success. So in summation my ultimate question is, why quit weed? I was unhappy when everything was going well and I was making 150K a year, living in a 600K house driving a 100K BMW M4 and going on vacations all the time. Now I have nothing and my earnings potential even if I am success, will be a fraction of what they once were. It seems to me that id be better off getting high everyday and just go on disability or AISH. A life alone sober or high as hell is a terrible one.
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#36

Postby LoosingItAll » Thu Mar 09, 2017 6:54 am

Ryan, I'm sorry to hear you so down on your self. We all have struggles in our lives. Some certainly have more than others, but don't use them as an excuse to stay high.

I smoked for too long, neglected my wife and kids and she eventually left me and filed for divorce. It has been 59 days since she left and 59 days since I stopped smoking. After she left, I realized how much I really loved her and how selfish I had been. I thought if I quit, if I changed, she would come back.She hasn't and most likely won't. So here I sit, alone on my mum's spare bedroom. I can't see myself ever in another relationship. I am lonely, and have a constant feeling of despair.

But, I'm sober, my head is clear. I have found a relationship with God and regularly attend church. And, I am still physically alone.
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#37

Postby Marcster44 » Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:00 am

Hi y'all
First time posting. Glad I found this site after my umpteenth time trying to quit the ganja. First off I got bout 78 days off weed and 68 days sober. I'm now trying to ween myself off benadryl from 2
50 to 100 mg to 25mg for however long. I'm a 25y.o male from AZ been smoking pot since I was 12. Realized I was hooked since 15-16. Didn't let the social anxiety bother me thru high school. Knew I had it but didn't care just tried to keep good grades. Didn't bother me til last few years in da real world after realizing how unbalanced I was. I've tried all other drugs. I like heroin but I treated it like normal people treat alcohol. I've done it around 100-150 times since I was 17. The constipation part was the big factor in me knowing it shouldn't be daily.
I grew a liking to beefeater n Jameson this last year as well but its all nothing compared to my weed addiction believe it or not. Its hard for me to relate to other people in 12step meetings because of my relationship with drugs. Which is why I like this site best. I relate a lot to what others r going thru. I feel better this month than last. But still have anxiety round others. This usually got better round 6 month mark. But that's longest I've gone sober just a year ago. All in all I feel bit more normal each day. Just a bit tho. I'm ready for the long journey to gain some resemblance of normality again. Drugs just feel like old news. I just feel like raggedy anDY now. Lol bit more animated as time goes on but ehh...its been rough. Hope it gets better. Love the love y'all give each other. Keep on keep in on.✌
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#38

Postby tower2108 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:59 pm

dillyp70 wrote:Day 7

The weekend was the hardest days in 18 years.
The week seems okay as am in work and busy, it hit me like a ton of bricks the missus says i was psychotic which probably sums it up.
I didnt give in though and the mood seems to have picked up today... As i say though the weekdays seem ok.
I dont think we have MA meetings around here or i would go to one myself as they say it helps to talk... Helps me talking to you lol
Your doing good mate honestly you are your one day ahead make sure you stay there.

Stay strong


Day 6

Hi dilly,

I live in Neston and I'm in a similar boat to what you were when you posted this quote. I started smoking weed when I was 14 and soon became a daily user. I look back and think if I was in the same situation I'd probably do the same again because it was an enjoyable way of life given how easy my life was back then.

I managed to quit for about 6 months when 22, quit again for 5 years when I was 27 but started again two years ago when I was under a lot of stress with family life. I think it's safe to say that smoking weed has caused me to either become depressed or mask depression that might have been starting to come about around the time I first started smoking weed.

Last December I tried to stop but began to have serious bouts of depression coupled with uncontrollable crying, insomnia etc and this led me to think that I'd be better of leaving my wife and living in the warehouse where I work so I could smoke weed to my hearts content. I had a number of counselling sessions which were ok but nothing special. Eventually I got back to smoking weed thinking it was the easier than trying to quit but I don't like the idea of having to smoke it for the rest of my life to try and feel 'normal' so I've taken the plunge again.

I feel like I am better prepared than ever to tackle the problems it brings but this weekend I've shown all the symptoms of depression in men without realising it. The main sympton is blaming my wife for how I feel instead of myself. It must be horrendous for my wife to cope with me when I'm like this but on the whole I'd say I'm much better than I've been in the past when I've tried to stop. The main improvement this time round has been the ability to sleep without any major problems. This is down to using lavender on my pillow and listening to meditation music before going to bed.

I seemed to be much better when I was working but the weekend has been a real struggle and I've basically just watched sport and played PS4 to try and escape the boredom that would normally not be a problem as long as I could have a smoke.

How have you been recently? I wanted to ask because I know it's been about 9 months since you stopped which according to a lot of people on here is a huge time frame for feeling well and truly over the affects of quitting?
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