24 years using, 4 months weed free my story

#75

Postby Miraculous » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:37 am

Wow - good for you! Two weeks is quite an accomplishment! Rik is the wise one - I’m confident he will respond to your post soon. I just want to commend you on such a wise move. You’re an inspiration as well! Hang in there and Post often - it helps
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#76

Postby cleanofgreen » Fri Nov 17, 2017 10:58 am

Hey Knowmean
Congrats on making the best decision of your life, 20 years is enough to waste on weed. I know what you mean by
I feel like I have woken from a 20 year blur caused from smoking weed


I felt exactly the same, it was like looking at someone else's life once all the weed was out of my system.The difference between stoner me and who I am now is astonishing, my brain works so good now I can understand computer science principles the boggled me for years. I was basically a dumbed down version of me for 24 years of smoking weed. You've probably got a rough couple of months ahead of you but believe me when I say, it will be the best thing you've done for your self and your family ever. Keep reading and writing on the forum, it helps to know others are going through the same process. I know what your going through and know that you will come out the other side better then you went in. All the best.
Good luck and stay strong.
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#77

Postby Soberchic » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:11 am

Glad to see that your still quit cleanofgreen !! Thats awesome keep up the good work. Ill have 15 months soon :D
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#78

Postby cleanofgreen » Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:52 am

Hey Soberchic

Great to here from you, we went through the process of withdrawal at approx the same time. Glad to see your clean and life is good for you. I don't post much here anymore as I'm too busy getting on with life, spent almost 6 months reading every post I could find about withdrawal\paws on here and that was enough. I will post every now and then to help people struggling with quitting as we know how difficult it can be and seeing an old quitter posting that their still quit and life is much better always helped me to keep on keeping on. It was probably the worst 9 months of my life so helping others get through it is my way of giving back to the forum that helped me quit for good. Here's something I learned form my quitting process that might help some understand whats going on.

Quitting weed allows the reward centers in the brain to return to normal functionality after years of forcing unearned joy out of it through instant gratification by smoking. Eventually the brain shuts down dopamine production as it thinks your getting enough from other sources and then simple pleasures from life don't do it for you anymore. Once your off it for long enough you begin to see massive improvements in all areas of your life, this is your true personality coming back after years of being repressed unknowingly by your addiction.

Good Luck and Stay Strong
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#79

Postby Wave » Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:38 am

Great update and well done on the quit. It is amazing how differently you can see things when you are no longer smoking bud, really not productive in any way!
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#80

Postby seeingthelight » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:13 pm

Another great and inspirational story! It helps for people to see the struggle and the reward! When first quitting, things can seem out of place, boring and soo blah. This gives us hope there’s a better life to come! You just have to be patient and let nature takes its course
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#81

Postby SoulFull » Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:55 pm

This is an awesome thread. Congrats cleanofgreen for making it and inspiring everyone else including me! It is so nice of you to keep on posting here and replying to their posts. Hope you live a blessed life clean of green.
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#82

Postby cleanofgreen » Thu Dec 21, 2017 7:35 pm

Thanks for the kind words, SoulFull

Read your thread and know what you're going through, it sucks now but it like starting weight training or running, in the beginning it hurts like hell and you want to give up but if you stay the course you get a little stronger every day. You won't necessarily see the changes yourself but they are there compounding each and every day, until one day you can run the marathon and it feels great. Quitting an addiction thats been with you for many years take time to dissolve, the day you quit, you planted the seed, now your not too far off a bountiful harvest. Stick with it and you'll see your true self for the first time in years, and you won't be disappointed.

Good luck and stay strong.
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#83

Postby exstonerinhell » Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:24 am

Hey cleanofgreen,

Thanks for responding to my PM. I'm, of course, in a bit of a perilous state right now, not quite at 4 months. While I have seen improvement from the first couple months, I'm still quite worried about the things I'm experiencing and was wondering if you could give me some feedback on the things I'm going through. I hate to bring you back early into your quit but, would appreciate any insight you could give me.

1.) I can't form emotions, I can't relate to anyone, I see people out in the world and I just get so sad as to the connection I've lost. I desperately miss this connection with my family, I hate being this way and I'm afraid I'm going to always be this way. I miss having a connection with people so much. Was this something you experienced? Of course, we're all different in this but I'm just wondering at what point you noticed an improvement in this, if you experienced it at all? I love them all very much, but feel like there's this invisible wall between me and them now.

2.)I think because I'm just in this bad state, I worry that I'm having a harder time than anyone else. Of course, on paper I couldn't explain how bad it feels so I don't think anyone else could and while I see a lot of similarities in my story to everyone else, I don't know, it just feels so much WORSE to me than what people describe. Can you relate to that feeling from your early quit? Did you worry a lot that this wasn't PAWS, and that you truly were worse off than anyone else? Not trying to be overly fatalistic, but I just feel SO nonfunctional. I hold onto the fact that some days are 'better' than others, but when things get bad I get scared a lot about this ever getting better, and that I've totally f***ed my life forever.

Anyway, man, I appreciate you being around here still even after your quit. Any insight you can give me I really, really, appreciate. Thank you for your time.
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#84

Postby cleanofgreen » Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:12 pm

1.) I can't form emotions, I can't relate to anyone, I see people out in the world and I just get so sad as to the connection I've lost. I desperately miss this connection with my family, I hate being this way and I'm afraid I'm going to always be this way. I miss having a connection with people so much. Was this something you experienced? Of course, we're all different in this but I'm just wondering at what point you noticed an improvement in this, if you experienced it at all? I love them all very much, but feel like there's this invisible wall between me and them now.


As you say were all different but for me it was the 6 month mark that it started to come back slowly and was probably at 8.5 months where I was almost back to normal. I felt exactly the same as you: disconnected, no connection to anyone or any thing. It's a lonely place to be but just be assured, it does come back and when it does it will actually be a better connection than the thc filtered one you had before. You will connect with them on perfectly natural level seeing the good and the bad clearly for the first time in a while. This can also mean you might not tolerate some people or situations in your life that you used to while being a stoner but don't make any rash decisions in the first year. For the first year just accept that your in recovery mode and things will feel strange for a while and try make the most of the good days and push through the bad.

2.)I think because I'm just in this bad state, I worry that I'm having a harder time than anyone else. Of course, on paper I couldn't explain how bad it feels so I don't think anyone else could and while I see a lot of similarities in my story to everyone else, I don't know, it just feels so much WORSE to me than what people describe. Can you relate to that feeling from your early quit? Did you worry a lot that this wasn't PAWS, and that you truly were worse off than anyone else? Not trying to be overly fatalistic, but I just feel SO nonfunctional. I hold onto the fact that some days are 'better' than others, but when things get bad I get scared a lot about this ever getting better, and that I've totally f***ed my life forever.


Believe me I know how bad it is. It was the worst 9 months of my life. As you say some days are ok but then come the bad spells and you think that you've never had a good one, when your on a bad patch somehow you forget that you had a few good days here and there. But if I remember correctly I didn't have many good days at all in the first 4 months. Before I hit the 6 month mark I wasn't sure if I would ever be better, I frequently thought that I screwed up my brain for good and there was no going back, but I think the majority thinks this in the early months.

Did you worry a lot that this wasn't PAWS

Yes all the time. That's why I spent so much time reading these forums. If you look through some of my posts in the search function you find all manner of references to PAWS and brain recovery links.
I get scared a lot about this ever getting better, and that I've totally f***ed my life forever
Felt the same here as well. You haven't screwed up your life for ever, just for a few months :D

Some tips to get you through. The exercise is a must in my opinion.
    Take omega 3, vitamin b complex
    Eat a healthy diet with good amount of protein.
    Exercise every day, something that makes you sweat. This one is a must and will make a huge difference
    If your really up for it take a cold shower after your exercise, great for the mind. Look up Wim Hoff Method.
    Try some simple breathing meditations.
    Take up an old hobby or start a new one.
    Read some good books
    Try to keep active by always having some thing to do, paint a room, re-decorate the whole house, dig a garden bed etc. Just do anything to keep busy. I know its hard to motivate your self to get started but just break it down into small tasks. .e.g I'm just going to clean this section of the garage.
    Keep posting on here

At 4 months your just starting to see improvements and there so small that you don't really see them. Just hang in there and you'll get your life back and a better one to boot.

Good luck and stay strong.
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#85

Postby exstonerinhell » Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:32 pm

Thanks so much man, I will take that onboard. The weird thing is that when I posted that I was in a horrible state, and now I'm feeling okay. Hopeful, calm, etc. Feel far, FAR, from normal, but I'm in this state where I get like 2 bad days and then one okay day. It seems to be a pattern, or I'm just pattern seeking. I don't know.

Anyway, man, I really, REALLY appreciate your advice and being here for those of us in the thick of it. Thank you so much.

Quick couple of other questions.

1.) Did you get this derealisation stuff? Where everything looks like...I don't know... like it isn't quite real? I mean it all LOOKS real, but I don't know how to describe it.... like, it's a dream or a bad acid trip?

2.) Do you get any PAWS like symptoms as far out as you are, or would you put yourself as over the mountain?
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#86

Postby Knowmean » Sun May 20, 2018 11:59 pm

I posted on this thread in November after I’d been clean of weed for 2 weeks. It’s been 6 months and it has been the best thing I ever did. I have got my life back, things are much clearer now. I was buying a house at the time and I am now settled in it. My baby is 1 soon and I have been promoted at work. I have got my appetite back and am sleeping well. Gone are the days when all I could think about was when I was gonna smoke my next joint. Only once you have quit and have got through the first few months do you realise how much it holds you back. My days are no longer a blur and I am much happier through the day. I still get the odd down day but I just tell myself it’ll be fine when I wake up. I’ve been enjoying life and can honestly say to anyone who is in them first few months, stick with it. It’s so worth it.
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#87

Postby sdooris94 » Mon May 21, 2018 2:15 pm

Thank you for sharing this, it has given me the strength to continue and the will to carry on my own battle. Stay strong mate
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#88

Postby DefiedOdds » Mon May 21, 2018 7:47 pm

First post, just wanted to say thank you for the encouraging words and dedication- today marks my first day without marijuana. To better days! Congratulations on the hard work paying off :)
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#89

Postby cleanofgreen » Mon May 21, 2018 10:43 pm

@Knowmean that's great news on the 6 months and the positive effect its has on your life. It's like they say "You get what you focus on most of the time" So if all you focus on, is when your going to get your next hit for 10 or 20 years, then that's exactly what your going to get. Once you've made weed your priority then theres not much room for anything else. That's why when you give it up, you see so much improvement in your life as you tend to prioritize the more important things in life.

@DefiedOdds Congrats on quitting and keep reading the forum for some great advise and support. I don't know if I would have made it without this forums support during my quit.

Good Luck and Stay Strong
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