Bi-Polar Mom

Postby turtleswim » Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:09 pm

I live with my Mom. I can move out in about a year when my career picks up. Thank you uncommon for creating a place where people can talk about psychology instead of remaining silent and afraid about issues. I work with the national association of mental illness, or NAMI. I talk to a therapist every two weeks. My therapist helps me talk about issues. Between sessions I need to blog to express what is going on so my brain does not explode. Some of the feedback on this site is OK. It's not all perfect since nobody knows anybody else personally. My Mom shames me often when I am around the house too much. She repeats a threat like a robot, "if you don't ___________ then you should find some place else to live." She fills in the blank with whatever comes to mind. Examples are, "if you don't clean up after your self you should find some place else to live. If you don't give me four hundred dollars you should find someplace else to live. If you don't take me to my doctor's appointment you should find some place else to live." I have a car I can lie down in so I can leave any time and live out of my car if I have to. Does anyone else have experience with someone who repeats the same threat like a robot? It does not drive me crazy but I have to blog about it so I don't feel bullied and alone.
turtleswim
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#1

Postby Mytimenow » Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:54 am

Hello. It sounds like you are in a tough situation with your mum. It's hard to make others see that their words and actions can be hurtful and destructive. Especially to a young person who has limited choices and skills to be able to protect themselves from the unfair demands put on them.
You are in a tough place because your mum can't see that you are the child and she is the adult. Sounds to me you are sounding like more of an adult then she is able to be. My sister has bipolar and her children had a roller coaster upbringing. One week she went vegan, then gluten free then something else, always totally convinced that that was the answer to something that she fabricated in her poor head. I know it wasn't her fault but it was exhausting as you well articulate in your posts.
Protect yourself. You can never win over a full blown delusional person. Hard as she might she has little access to parts of her brain that require clear thinking. It's all an emotional drive. It's not her fault. I must stress that because there is no point blaming someone who can't be different even if they wanted to.
I think it's terrific you are receiving support and more the better. Leaving your environment is a good and smart priority. Just make sure that you are safe and able to manage when you do. In the meantime remember your mums words are often 'crazy making' and try to ignore what she comes out with. Minimize your stays at home.
To me you sound like a smart young person, aware of your own needs and ready to take action to serve your own best interests. You can't ask for a better preparation. Good luck x
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#2

Postby turtleswim » Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:19 pm

Hi. Thanks for the note. Yes I will stay logical and keep moving forward. I want to finish school. Mom might throw me some curve balls as I get close to graduation. I won't talk down to her. NAMI has great advice about how to talk to folks in a supportive and assertive way. My adrenaline spikes a little when she gets cranky. I take walks and pace myself with work. It takes longer to get things done since I need to process emotional stuff "backstage" before I go to a class or teach a class. It takes longer to process things but things can still get done. Blogging helps. Thanks.
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#3

Postby turtleswim » Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:14 pm

Yes this is challenging. She pointed at a rug on the floor today and said, "if you move that rug you can find someplace else to live." I have to stay cool, do my work, take lots of walks, pace myself, brace myself and face myself. Thanks for writing.
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