Treatment Programs To Forget About Love

Postby DavyJonesy » Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:39 pm

Hello all,

For a long time I've been looking for behavioral therapy programs that would help me to accept being sempiternally single. Not drugs to reduce sex drive, as I'm already asexual and that would be pointless. I need a program to do away with the desire for romantic involvement. I have little trouble anymore controlling my bipolar disorder, and I haven't had an anxiety attack from S.A.D. in a long time. But this one last fault is what keeps me up at night staring at the ceiling, it's the fountain of most of my self-hatred and lately the loneliness has become so suffocating that I fear it is destabilizing me. I have been getting little sleep, but don't feel fatigued, and have been using superlatives to describe how awful I think I am. These are warning signs.

I have tried everything to keep my head clear, and to avoid any excess desires. I meditate daily, exercise constantly, eat healthy, (try to) sleep well, partake in daily reaffirmation and just generally try to make my life a constant stream of self-improvement to keep my mind sharp, my thoughts occupied and to improve my confidence. My routine, activity level and mindfulness practices have helped enormously as preventative measures or therapy during other crises, but for this one they don't seem to work. So I need to find a program (similar to CBT) which can train me to stop wanting the things I can never have. Some have suggested Buddhism (not really a therapy program, but I gave it a shot), but I've found that identifying the cause of suffering, i.e. desire, and using practical tools to resolve that issue are two different things, and Buddhism offers very little in the way of the latter. The meditation techniques they taught me do help.

*Note* No Pop Psychology slogan is going to help me get a relationship. I'm very attractive, physically fit and muscular, well-dressed, well-spoken, funny, intelligent and at one time was quite popular before I closed myself off and lost touch with everyone. And one can speak all one wishes for my lack of "confidence". They're wrong. I have plenty of confidence in who I am and what I've accomplished. The problem is that I'm extremely unstable and no one could ever see past that. And besides, I'm almost 24 years old and have never been in a relationship, so even if there was a chance for me at some time, it has long since passed me by.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:28 pm

DavyJonesy wrote: just generally try to make my life a constant stream of self-improvement

It sounds like you are focusing your "self-improvement" on areas that don't need to be improved, while ignoring the areas that do require attention. Like a three legged stool, self-improvement requires a balance between personal, spiritual and interpersonal. It sounds like you expect that you can somehow neglect or avoid the interpersonal aspects of self-improvement, and only focus on the areas you like.

What are your biggest barriers to working on interpersonal self-improvement?
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Postby Jamie514 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:21 am

Hello there, this one is really important issue and most of the people are facing this kind of problem. I want to share this discuss to my fb. But how?
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