my friend is mentally ill

Postby turtleswim » Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:59 pm

I just got the most hateful text I have ever seen. It is not a death threat but it is some pretty weird bullying from a friend who has some neurosis. I like art and the art world. My eyes are open. I know people can hate other people. I want to cultivate collaboration. I have heard of hate being on the rise lately. Now I see direct evidence of hatred, even hatred from one friend to another. This friend of mine keeps calling me an art snob. Now the pattern is showing so I think I should keep a safe distance from this friend. I can keep distance since this is some very manipulative bullying. I just need to share to help heal the wound caused to my psyche this morning. Here is the 63 word bully rant,
"well well well if it isn't the smartest art scientist in the world judging everyone about what they do to make money to survive because they have they're mom to fall back on. I feel embarrassed to invite you to a free movie in fear that you'll spit out the pop corn and say you can do better. Thanks for your booshy advice art scientist."
I know that there is a lot of hatred in the world. Why do friends have to write such weird stuff to each other? When friends can't see eye to eye where is the world going? I will take this bully rant as criticism and not judge the friend. I will keep a healthy distance so they can cool off. I will maintain a solid belief in art as a worth while field of knowledge. I am an art teacher in training. I know that people will shout out that I am a bad person and that I am a brain washer and that I am a trouble maker. That is what all teachers face. By chance my art does "suck". That does not mean I will ever turn my back on the beautiful process called music and art. Bullying has three phases/ gunny sack, release anger and honeymoon. This friend of mine may be becoming a bully. By chance he has been bullied so much in his life that he has learned their ways. I will not allow for this circle to continue. Like most people say when encountering a bully, "just walk away."
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Postby Arkady » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:21 pm

I had a mentally ill friend. I wrote about this in my post "Is there a real friendship?" You can read, if you are interested. There I described how it ended. Yes unfortunately, if a person suffers from a mental disorder, then there can be no friendship. I'm sure, that you need to stay away from such friends if you do not want to get sick yourself. It is best to maintain healthy relationships with healthy people.
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Postby Ike Mana » Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:07 pm

Forgive me, but he doesn't sound like much of a friend. You're correct in saying "just walk away."
Cut him loose. There really is no need to go back and forth with someone who speaks to you that way.
Stay away from negativity and negative people. They'll only bring you down.
Take solace in a supportive friend or family member.

I've recently googled, "negative people quotes" and looked in images, it gave me a lot of food for thought.

Take care
Ike Mana
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:05 pm

turtleswim wrote: I feel embarrassed to invite you to a free movie in fear that you'll spit out the pop corn and say you can do better.

Ever consider that your friend is tired of you always making comments about art? Your friend has fear. Your friend is embarrassed which has led to frustration and a rant you label as being a bully. It sounds like to me, when you are around this friend, he or she is tired of always hearing your comments about art and is trying to change your behavior. Your friend is exhausted over your behavior that they consider inappropriate. They don't want to be hanging out with you and need to hear your critique on someone else's artwork.

Don't get me wrong. Maybe it is time to move on. Maybe you have changed. Maybe you enjoy talking about art so much that it has become second nature and you don't realize when you are doing so. Maybe this friend is not happy with this change and is just tired of always hearing your opinions on art, art, art and would rather talk about something else. But, you are an art teacher now, so maybe move on from this friend and hang out with other people that want to discuss art, art, art.
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