Another One Bites The Dust

#60

Postby Gitana » Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:18 am

Hey Bagobones - doing good? Gracias para la cancion (no la conocia)
Todo bien por aqui - i mean i m ok (not great). My life is pretty much the same, not too hard at all - still off of any drug besides water and air, i m used to it now i guess - but i remembered having more fun moments when i was partaking i suppose. How are you doing?
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#61

Postby Gitana » Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:22 am

cleanofgreen wrote:Congratulations on the year weed free, a great achievement.
Now i m wondering: what s next?
Should i stay like this or get the weed back in my life (only with low-potency no-name stuff if so)?


Why not continue on the path of bettering your self and go for 2 years? For me I know where it would lead eventually, back smoking every day and wondering how I got there a couple of years later. I could never moderate it, it was have one and 30 minutes later slipping out for another and on and on till bed time.
You might have more resolve and great if you do, but I just have to look at the first 8-9 months of my withdrawal to realize I don't want to go through that crap again. Make the right choice for you, nobody can tell you what's right for you.

Good luck and Stay strong


Hey COG, how are you doing?
Thanks for the inspiration - i stayed away from it - i guess we re similar. If past behaviors are of any indication, i clearly am an all-or-nothing kind of person. It hasnt been hard at all actually, i might just be out of it. How about yourself?
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#62

Postby Gitana » Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:30 am

Quick update: just passed the 2 years mark so wanted to celebrate the milestone i guess.

Few random points:

- definitely the first time in all my adult life that i went clean for so long!
No artificial paradise: no weed, no CBD, no edible, no vaping, no tobacco, no booze, no coke, nothing!

- well actually in the past 24 months, i had 1 non-alcoholic beer once (about 1% alcohol still) and 1 cocktail (containing vodka) at another occasion. Beside those, it s been only water, tea, and the occasional almond milk.

- food-wise i got less disciplined though: after the expected compensation during the 6 first months (when i gained 12 pounds in the first month only), i got back on track. In the past few months though, i realized that in spite of my 20 years+ of pretty strict vegetarian diet, i m now eating more greasy/sweet stuff (chocolate, peanut butter, occasional french fries).

- last Fall i did a 12 day-fast (only water, and a daily pinch of salt to prevent headaches), lost 22 pounds (from 140 to 117), but i m now back to 140 (for a 5'7" height). I m considered normal, but i used to be thinner 2 years ago. Smoking keeps you fit people! (or me at least)

- creativity is ok (it s my job) although i find myself less active and more and more "spectator" overall (like "watching" youtube videos and tutorials as opposed to "doing" stuff). I have less spark i believe. When i was smoking, i could not refrain myself from creating all the time - now it s "only when necessary"

- i still hang out with my stoner-friends and we still do "connect", although i do find them a bit "slow" at time, and feel that they are wasting time and money - we are still best friends and have a lot of good laughs and i still go outside with them for cigarettes breaks (i just chat). Am i just becoming judgemental?

- i dont avoid socialization and parties, but i m not looking fowards to them either. I get bored after a couple of hours since people keep getting higher/drunker and not me haha

- no special change in my libido - i have occasional lovers but that s it, no more, no less. Sex aint any better either (actually still remember the best sex experience i had in my life - and i was high)

- no drastic change in my memory and brain-sharpness - i m told that i m more focused, more acute, but i m not really feeling any of that. I actually think that my memory is just barely better than when i was a pothead

- my mood is somewhat more stable, but this didnt prevent me from going through a 'low' during December (until now)

- my patience is not any better, i even think that i am more impatient now

- i have more hours "straight" nowadays, but since I tend to read too much (news, books), ending up spending too much time thinking on my own, it doesnt feel very different than the hours "wasted" daydreaming on the sofa

- it is now easy to fall asleep whenever i want, but on the other hand i tend to sleep much more than i used to (6-8 hours while i only needed 5-6h before)

- buying green, tobacco, rolling paper and lighter are not on my list anymore so i dont really feel like i m saving (but i indeed do save i suppose)

- my place does smell neutral - or incense at time - probably a good thing

Two years ago, my main motivation to stop weed was related to poor memory, late sleep pattern, and an overall sense of living in a bubble. Today i realize that besides a couple of positive side-effects (not more smoke into my lungs and less money wasted), and for all the effort it takes, quitting might not have been such an life-changing decision haha..
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#63

Postby RoadToRecovery123 » Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:38 pm

Hey @Gitana. I’ve read your entire thread from 2 years ago and I have to say thank you for your inspiration! I’m glad that you stuck to your guns and only CONSIDERED smoking again, not actually do it. I’m 18 days clean of weed and 1 day clean of liquor and I can relate to your beginning stages of withdrawal psychologically. Thanks for your input :)
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#64

Postby Gitana » Sat Mar 20, 2021 3:29 am

Hi RTR123, hope you re doing good, how did it go?
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#65

Postby Gitana » Sat Mar 20, 2021 3:46 am

Hi All, quick update: "sober" for over 4 years this week, wanted to put a mark.

- in 4 years, i never relapsed, not even a cigarette
- I might have had 5 alcohol drinks total
- still no coffee, no tea, no meat
- overall health is very good according to last blood work (Doc asked several time if i was lying about my real age haha)
- brain is ok (i can remember a phone number) but not what it used to be (i m still in some sort of constant brain fart i m afraid)
- dreams every night (and remember them)
- weight gain (on average 10-20 pounds heavier)
- libido goes up and down, regular pattern
- mentally i m sort of "not super happy" all the time (age? pandemic?)
- i hope i have more perspective on things in general (my friends say they see a difference, but i dont)
- i feels good to have no addiction anymore, a real sense of freedom

Voila, not much to say.

I encourage anyone here to hang on - stopping weed brings a lot of plusses!

Although stopping did not "turn my life around" i d say.
I m the same person inside, and life seems maybe a little more boring without it..?
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#66

Postby Winzu » Sat Mar 20, 2021 2:37 pm

Gitana wrote:Hi All, quick update: "sober" for over 4 years this week, wanted to put a mark.

- in 4 years, i never relapsed, not even a cigarette
- I might have had 5 alcohol drinks total
- still no coffee, no tea, no meat
- overall health is very good according to last blood work (Doc asked several time if i was lying about my real age haha)
- brain is ok (i can remember a phone number) but not what it used to be (i m still in some sort of constant brain fart i m afraid)
- dreams every night (and remember them)
- weight gain (on average 10-20 pounds heavier)
- libido goes up and down, regular pattern
- mentally i m sort of "not super happy" all the time (age? pandemic?)
- i hope i have more perspective on things in general (my friends say they see a difference, but i dont)
- i feels good to have no addiction anymore, a real sense of freedom

Voila, not much to say.

I encourage anyone here to hang on - stopping weed brings a lot of plusses!

Although stopping did not "turn my life around" i d say.
I m the same person inside, and life seems maybe a little more boring without it..?


That is interesting. I find that many fully recovered people experience a huge change in their life. A lot more excited, productive and generally happier.

It is odd that you still consider life with weed happier. What is your daily life like?
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#67

Postby Gitana » Wed Mar 24, 2021 11:58 pm

Hey Winzu,

oh yeah? well good to hear that then

As for me:
- excited? no
- productive? potentially more but less easily "imaginative"
- happier? no, i was definitely a smilier person before i stopped

My life is pretty chill actually:
- I m single, no kids (i play with my friend s kids), live off my passion (never had a 'day-job" in my life)
- i wake up at noon, no alarm-clock, i m my own boss, compose music, live performances (well not in the past 12 months..), - cook, bike to the ocean daily, books, movies
- I dont have pain (yet), i m healthy.
- usually i have short-to-mid-term lovers (but i havent 'seen' anyone in a year, no contact etc..)

Life with weed had all the issues i wanted to escape from - but somehow i felt happier, i knew i had that little escape every night you know? Now i m "conscious" all the time if this makes any sense.

I preferred the life with an escape...
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