Ex mentioned that her ex was good in bed.

Postby OneDepressedDude » Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:02 pm

I have been talking to an ex recently and she mentioned this in passing. I don't think it was intended hurt me or make me feel jealous. But it is bothering me a bit. I told her immediately I don't want hear about it. I told her today that it upset me and she said that I have nothing to worry about.

I don't know how to get my confidence back up. I'm not having sex with anyone these days and this just makes it worse.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:54 pm

OneDepressedDude wrote:... this just makes it worse.

So of all the problems in your life, you choose to spend your time focused on what an ex says. You have so many more important issues to focus on in your life, but instead you allow yourself to get distracted by a comment that means nothing. Why?

Many times it is a way to deflect. It is easier to waste time focused on an insignificant issue than acting on a more important issue. Instead of the hard stuff, focused on being in the gym or working on learning something new or finding a new relationship, a person focuses on the insignificant.
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Postby OneDepressedDude » Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:23 am

Yeah I guess I am deflecting. I don't have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm trying to self improve but It's not so easy all the time.
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Postby deliadelia » Wed Mar 22, 2017 2:21 pm

the same thing happened to me.. yes, it's hurtful at the moment.
then I started thinking about it and what has helped a great deal was thinking that somehow I am above the sexual part of it (not judging it, it's a very important kind of energy when shared with someone the matters). Like.. I'm not having sex and she does? Very good, I'll go find things to do that raise my vibration, without "being helped" by someone else, if you know what I mean, hehe.

"if you lose someone and you find yourself instead, you win" that's how I would summarize it.
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Postby Svetlanaparvathi » Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:17 pm

What if your ex would told you, that her ex was smarter than you, faster than you, more active, more sociable, more beautiful, more and more and so on. What you gonna do then? Suicide?
What if Brad Pitt is ex of your ex? Again Suicide?
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Postby wonkymirror » Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:57 pm

Your ex has nothing to lose in making a throwaway comment like this. Who knows? maybe down the line she will say the same thing to another guy about you? Exes are exes for a reason.... case in point, you are your ex. Focus on you and maybe you will find someone who will build you up instead of knock you down
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