masturbation guilt

Postby spiderboy » Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:21 am

Hello,

I am a 22 year old boy. I have been struggling with some problems regarding porn and masturbation for about 10 years. When I was 12, at a confession at church, I told the priest that I had masturbated. He told me that I shall stop immediately or else it would be very bad for me. This has got engraved into my mind so deep that even if I acknowledge the fact that masturbation is not harmful, I can still not feel that way and I end up feeling like a guilty looser after every time I'm doing it. I mostly feel guilty because I think that I could have done something else in that time instead of masturbating. Basically, my sexual education was porn and I regret this very much. But now I don't desire porn anymore. I watch it sometimes, but I feel the strong need of touching another person's skin, looking into their eyes and all the things that make an intimate connection between two people. I have had two girlfriends so far, whom I didn't sleep with (so I'm a virgin), only had some other sexual experiences and I felt guilty even after those. I would like to get a girlfriend and begin my sexual life, but I find it extremely hard because I'm not the type of "bad guy" that most girls are looking for (although I don't know why, because I believe I am a fun person to be around, I just don't smoke, drink or enjoy low-quality music), so my option for now is masturbation, but I am confident that I will eventually get to find a girl whom I will love and have sex with. It's only that I'm asking myself whether the guilt will be present even then.

So my question for you is what do you think I should do in order to get rid of this guilt and the false things that are in my mindset? Should I not watch porn anymore? Should I give up masturbation? I would like to be an open and fun person, but the fear, the guilt, the anxiety stop me from being one (at least in my opinion). How can I develop a sense of self so that no guilt and doubts have place in my life?

Thank you
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#1

Postby strawberry4 » Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:06 pm

of course not. just think that there is no human being on earth above 12-14 years old that does not masturbate, it is 100% normal!
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#2

Postby wonkymirror » Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:42 pm

i think your guilt surrounding masturbation has also created shame around your desire to be intimate with someone, both are perfectly normal, but of course one requires a level of emotional and physical understanding of someone else and the other is a fun, if usually solitary, activity. Porn and masturbation are pretty innocuous, but continue on the path to finding someone you can have that intimacy with if that is what you want. Not all girls want the A typical "bad boy" but it is important if you like someone that you don't place yourself in the friend zone out of fear.
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#3

Postby happyvampire3 » Sun Apr 16, 2017 10:03 pm

Everyone masturbates - teen boys, teen girls, grown men/women, old men/women. It's a natural thing to do that makes you feel good and has no negative side effects whatsoever and releases feel-good hormones. It doesn't hurt anyone. Watching porn is fine (so long as it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable - if it does, feel free to stop any time) and can be fun. Just keep in mind porn is very exaggerated so when you meet a partner of your own your relationship should take its own path and may not be like in the films.

You will find a partner that loves you for you! Don't worry about that. There is somebody for everyone. You should remind yourself that sex/sexual activities are very normal and natural and nothing to feel guilty about. Masturbating is not bad for you. Your priest obviously has a strong viewpoint on this, as some religious people/groups do, but that is his opinion and you should not feel pressured into taking on his viewpoint/opinion. You are your own person and if it feels good for you, that's okay.
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#4

Postby Jamie514 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:21 pm

Masterbation is normal matter because most of people do this, specially teenage guy. So you don't feel much guilty and ashamed to you. You should just stop masterbation and stop watching porn for your welfare.
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