Guilt for masturbating

Postby spiderboy » Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:21 am


I am a 22 year old boy. I have been struggling with some problems regarding porn and masturbation for about 10 years. When I was 12, at a confession at church, I told the priest that I had masturbated. He told me that I shall stop immediately or else it would be very bad for me. This has got engraved into my mind so deep that even if I acknowledge the fact that masturbation is not harmful, I can still not feel that way and I end up feeling like a guilty looser after every time I'm doing it. I mostly feel guilty because I think that I could have done something else in that time instead of masturbating. Basically, my sexual education was porn and I regret this very much. But now I don't desire porn anymore. I watch it sometimes, but I feel the strong need of touching another person's skin, looking into their eyes and all the things that make an intimate connection between two people. I have had two girlfriends so far, whom I didn't sleep with (so I'm a virgin), only had some other sexual experiences and I felt guilty even after those. I would like to get a girlfriend and begin my sexual life, but I find it extremely hard because I'm not the type of "bad guy" that most girls are looking for (although I don't know why, because I believe I am a fun person to be around, I just don't smoke, drink or enjoy low-quality music), so my option for now is masturbation, but I am confident that I will eventually get to find a girl whom I will love and have sex with. It's only that I'm asking myself whether the guilt will be present even then.

So my question for you is what do you think I should do in order to get rid of this guilt and the false things that are in my mindset? Should I not watch porn anymore? Should I give up masturbation? I would like to be an open and fun person, but the fear, the guilt, the anxiety stop me from being one (at least in my opinion). How can I develop a sense of self so that no guilt and doubts have place in my life?

Thank you
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:54 pm

spiderboy wrote: How can I develop a sense of self so that no guilt and doubts have place in my life?

You develop a sense of self by not giving a damn or even believing what another person tells you, including a priest. You think priests don't masturbate? Please. They are human, they w**k it just like the next guy. In fact, the very priest that told you not to has flogged the dolphin more than once and might still be doing so to this day. There are so many people out there that give advice, but don't follow it themselves, including priests.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Mar 31, 2017 4:50 pm

spiderboy wrote: I am a 22 year old boy.

One other thing spider"boy". You are not a boy. You are a MAN.

Alexander the great was 17 when he was slaughtering thousands as a military general on his way to conquering a large portion of the world.

On June 6th, 1944 a total of 425,000 MEN, mostly under the age of 22 died fighting a horrific, horrible battle.

You might want to label yourself a boy, you might feel like a boy, maybe you grew up under circumstances where you have been allowed to continue acting like a boy, but chronologically and physically you are man. Legally, any laws you break or anything you do in life you will be treated as a man. Women want a man, not a boy. And don't mistake the "bad boy" they desire as being because of the word "boy" being used. I recommend you start referring to yourself as a man. This might also help you develop a strong sense of self.
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Postby George7 » Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:57 pm

Masturbating is nothing to feel guilty over. There’s much more worse things you could be doing than watching porn.
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