I want my parents to divorce!

Postby strawberry4 » Sat Apr 01, 2017 8:53 pm

Hello, and sorry in advance for my terible syntax, I'm spanish.

So, 20 years ago, in 1997, my parents got married. 10 years ago, in 2007, my mum sold her house (we were all living in the house that she had bought when she was young) to buy a bigger one. However, we didn't manage to buy another one, because my dad stole all her money. He didn't exactly "steal" them and leave, he just took all the 500,000euros from her bank account and went to a casino and lost them all. He was really sad and my mom decided to forgive him. She said that it'd be better if they both tried to save money and buy another house on a few years, and not divorce him or something.

So now it's 2017 and everything in my family is awful. We didn't manage to buy a house of course, we are still renting a small apartment. My dad comes home at 4a.m. (literally, almost every night) and they fight with mum every day. They don't want to break up even though they have said they want like a zillion times.

The problem is that my dad stile her 500,000 euros and still does nothing to buy a new house or to give her some money or at least be nice to her. He is constantly talking bad to her, he doesn't let her buy anything for herself (she has 2 pairs of trousers and 2 pairs of shoes and he has over 100 shirts and trousers and 20 pairs of shoes). Not gonna lie, there are good days and bad days, but the bad days are far more that the good ones. For instance, he doesn't want us to take a shower every day so that he doesn't have to pay for water. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? And it's not that he doesn't have the money, he buys stuff for him self (clothes, cell phones, cameras etc) all the time.

How can he do that? I can't bare living every day with them and knowing that my mum does nothing about it. She can't break up with hum because he gets about 1500-2000 euros per month and she only gets like 700, so we wouldn't be able to pay about anything. Besides, she still loves him, even though he treats her like that.

And me, I can't handle it. Almost every day there are fights and it makes me feel anxious and depressed.

I know my problem isn't about depression exactly but I really need help!
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Apr 02, 2017 3:04 pm

Are you an adult?
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#2

Postby strawberry4 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 4:04 pm

I'm almost 18
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Nov 12, 2020 3:09 pm

strawberry4 wrote:I'm almost 18


What your mother wants is different than what you want. What your father wants is different than what you want. It is their relationship.

One day you will have a serious relationship and it should not matter what another person wants. It is your relationship and you make the decisions. If another person, including your mother or father doesn't like your relationship, that is too bad as it is not their relationship. Whoever you choose, it will impact them. They may or may not like the person you choose, but that will not matter. It is your relationship not theirs.

It is understandable their relationship impacts you as you live with them. You see things you don't understand about their relationship and you don't like. The best thing you can do as you turn 18 is find a new place to live. There are several ways to accomplish this, from a dorm room at a university to an apartment.

If you decide to stay with your parents, you need to learn to focus on you and whatever goals you have in life. Do not waste time focused on things that are not for you to try to control.


Last bumped by strawberry4 on Thu Nov 12, 2020 3:09 pm.
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