In serious need of support

Postby CKD8323 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 1:39 pm

So I did the math and I'm about 2 weeks shy of 90 days off weed. Last night was possibly one of the hardest and scariest times since my first 2 weeks. I woke up in a sleep paralysis dream, then felt a panic attack coming on and had ringing in my ears. couldn't get back to bed for a bit. I ended up sleeping a bit more till morning but I awoke so defeated. I have broke down crying and I am honestly so terrified I will never be ok. I know I've read the stories of people on here but I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel at all right now. I feel broken and depressed and just in utter fear that I will never have my life back. These past 10 weeks have been the longest of my life by far and it sometimes feels like I've made no progress at all, in fact it sometimes feels like it's gotten worse in some ways. I really hate to say this out of fear of discouraging anyone with less time than me but I really am terrified. I'm not sure what I'm looking for all I know is I have no where to turn and no idea what to do. I don't really want to use anything but at the same time I don't know how long I can feel this crushed under the weight of being so shitty mentally. Sorry for all the doom and gloom.
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Postby tokeless » Sun Apr 02, 2017 3:20 pm

Hi there..
Just try and get some perspective. You think you've done nothing in terms of progress yet you've gone 10 weeks???? When was the last time you did that?
Change can be scarey but it doesn't mean it isn't positive. Focus on the positives and manage the negatives... you have done so far so just stay committed to the change you wanted. Nobody is holding a fun to your head are they? If you gave in now you have to start again.... or you just keep smoking. Why did you want to quit? Focus on those things... it does get easier but you've had a panic attack which has rattled you.. compose yourself and go again. It's all about choices mate... but you've chosen well for 10 WEEKS!!!! That's 2.5 months. How is that not progress??

Best wishes
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Postby DaWickerMan777 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:21 pm

I'm just over two months and have experienced these exact same things. I had a frightening bout of sleep paralysis- my mind woke up, but my body could not move and everything sounded weird. It was terrifying. On top of that, I have horrible tinnitus since I quit, it's freaking loud. Apparently these are all common withdrawal effects. What's keeling me going is the knowledge that it takes the brain a really long time to re-wire itself. Like two years! We're only two months in. I'm looking forward to 8 months in as I'm sure both you and I will be feeling much better. Hang in there.
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Postby strawberry4 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 7:40 pm

KEEP UP! Only ths fact that you are off weed for so long is a huge progress. Hang on and you will see results!
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Postby cleanofgreen » Sun Apr 02, 2017 9:35 pm

Hang in there CKD,
Your right in the thick of it now at 2.5 months, I know it's probably the worst you've ever felt in your life, it was for me anyway. I'm at over 6 months now and it's only in the last 3 weeks that I've started to feel better than I've felt in years. I felt the same as you are right now only 2 months ago, I didn't have the sleep paralysis but had the depression, anxiety, crying bouts, thoughts of will I ever be right again, and if it's this crap whats the point in going on.
All I can tell you is that you will be better, in fact you will be better than you ever thought you could be. Just stick with it, one day at a time, you will improve day by day but the improvements are so subtle you won't even notice them. For me I noticed a massive improvement around 5.5 months, some people see it at 4 months some at 5 some at 6 months but it does come. Your half way there now so no point in turning back now, as some have said here before "When your going through hell, keep on going"
Be good to your self right now, don't try to do too much else in your life as what your doing for the next few months is enough. It's said here a lot but exercise, multivitamins, b-complex and omega-3 all help greatly. I can't over emphasize the exercise, it's a life saver while going through PAWS.
You'll be amazed how you will feel in a few months time, believe me it's wort it.
You can do it, Stay Strong.
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Postby CKD8323 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 11:33 pm

Thank you all for the replies, they have helped my day a lot. im going to keep pushing through no matter what. This morning I really was just so shaken up but I went for a walk, got out in the sun ate really well and just stayed busy doing things I maybe didn't want to do. Thankfully I'm going into tonight with a little more hope. Thank you all again and I hope you're all feeling well
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Postby Soberchic » Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:33 am

Hang in CKD, it gets worse before it gets better. I thought i was schizophrenic in the beginning because mt mond was so messed up. All the pain your going through will eventually pass. It does get better and this wont be forever. Its your body and mind goign through a huge change. One minute at a time. Easy does it.
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