I Feel Stuck In A Routine

Postby CaliforniaSandDollar » Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:10 am

I wish I could have a life that is interesting. I have a dull, meaningless life. I live alone in a cheap apartment. I'm a cashier, and I don't make a lot of money. When I get a day off from work, I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to lie in bed and listen to music all day. The laundry and dishes pile up, and I feel bad about that. I don't want to live in a messy place, but I get lazy sometimes. The two thrills that I get in life are: 1) Writing letters to women who live in foreign countries. 2) Going to a matinee movie.

I feel pathetic every day. I am in my 40s and I don't have much money. I keep thinking to myself, "I've been working for 20 years...I should have more money!" I'd feel better this year if I could afford to buy a car. I catch the bus to work. I hate doing that. The buses are often dirty and make my clothes smell horrible. In the morning, I take a shower and put on some fresh, clean clothes, but at the end of the day: I smell like a homeless guy.

I work 5 to 6 days a week. Sometimes I can get a few extra hours of work if someone calls in sick. I dread getting out of bed every morning. And after I pay my bills, there isn't much left in my checking account. I wish I had a job that wouldn't drive me crazy. That would improve my situation. I also wish I could do some odd jobs to make extra money so I could pay off my credit cards. I want to live in a better environment. My cheap neighborhood is an eyesore. I wish I could live somewhere nice, like Newport Beach. I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford an apartment that's $2000 a month. I sure would like to have that kind of lifestyle: a nice, clean apartment with polished wood floors, a soft bed, a $20,000 car, cable TV, leather sofa, a refrigerator, etc. I wish I didn't have to walk to the laundromat. I don't feel like I'm making any sort of financial progress in my life. I just work, pay bills, and look for cheap thrills. I want a better life, but I don't know how to get that. When I see other people living well, I want to be like them. I want their jobs skills and college degrees. I don't see how I can be like them. I am just myself. I lack whatever it is that makes a person worth hiring. I don't have a college degree. I don't have great job skills. I don't have enough money to attend a trade school or a university. I feel trapped in my weekly routine. I wish I was the kind of person who could rise above this and accomplish something worth bragging about.
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#1

Postby Candid » Mon Apr 17, 2017 11:34 am

You write better than the average bozo. So what are you doing in a mind-numbing cashier's job that doesn't pay enough for you to have a decent life?

You can go to college at any age, you know. Do you have family who would support you while you aim for better things?
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:19 pm

CaliforniaSandDollar wrote:I wish I could have a life that is interesting. ...


Start with defining what is "interesting". Then you start working towards achieving such a life, by establishing and achieving goals.

From what it sounds like, one skill you never learned is managing finances. A good book that can help is the Richest Man in Babylon. Even a beggar can learn to save. I'm not saying it is easy, I'm saying it is not a complex skill to learn.

One thing that stands out though, is your idea of "interesting" seems mainly tied to finances and owning things. That is not very interesting in my opinion. Doing what everyone else does, owning a home in a suburb and going to work 9-5 is not interesting.

I think I lead a fairly interesting life and it doesn't cost much. I travel while working online. I am currently in Medellín, Colombia. I own eight shirts, living out of a carryon bag and a small backpack I call "my office". I have now been traveling 5 years and have been to 33 countries and have friends all over the world. My point is that interesting in my opinion is relative and doesn't necessarily equal money.

You lie in bed and listen to music all day instead of learning new skills or making new contacts. These things do not cost money. You can learn how to work online for free, it doesn't cost money to talk to people, but it means not laying around on a day off.
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#3

Postby tashlentine » Mon May 08, 2017 1:51 pm

Candid wrote:You write better than the average bozo. So what are you doing in a mind-numbing cashier's job that doesn't pay enough for you to have a decent life?


I have to say that was the first thing that popped into my head when I read your post. You're a really good writer! perhaps nurturing that side of yourself would be a fun escape too :wink:

There are a few points / recommendations I want to float past you: Firstly, having 'stuff' isn't a recipe for happiness. Measuring yourself against others is the fastest route to unhappiness. There are a couple of guys who call themselves 'The Minimalists' - They had pretty rough beginnings - raised in poverty, drug addiction and alcoholic environments, so they set out to 'improve' themselves. They ended up owning mansions, fancy cars, 6 figure salaries and still weren't happy. Then they got rid of it all and discovered happiness. Their mantra is "Minimalism is the thing that gets us past the things so we can make room for life’s important things—which aren’t actually things at all.". I'm not saying go out and become a minimalist, but there is an important lesson that 'stuff' isn't the answer - happiness comes from within ourselves.

I'm feeling stuck too - I have/had a creative career and have become incredibly disillusioned by the 'corporate' BS that came with it that I never signed up for that. I've stuck my head in the sand for the last 6 months and basically given myself a holiday for 6 months. Which means I've sat on my backside at home for 6 months being bored rigid and creatively stuck and it's not how I want to live my life so I'm working on pulling myself out of it by forcing myself out of my comfort zone. When I catch myself slipping into a certain unhealthy mindset I deliberately force myself to do the opposite. It is the times where I really can't be arsed to go to a party that I literally force myself to go, and end up having the best time.

I know we are different people, but change never happens from sitting around doing the same thing every day expecting different results. I believe doing that has been referred to as the definition of madness. In order for things to change you have to really want it and be prepared to put in the hard work - change is never easy and it's rarely comfortable.

These are some of the things that have helped me when I fall into a rut.

Get out in nature if you can - sitting at home all day is bad for your soul. Going for a walk and finding peace outside can free up your brain and start the little sparks of ideas.

Read. Read anything you can get your hands on - you will see life from so many different perspectives. My number one recommendation is 'If This is a Man' by Primo Levi - He writes about his time in Auschwitz. He makes me remember that if he can write about being in such a horrendous situation without self-pity then I have absolutely no business in wallowing about my own situation.

Get some inspirational quotes pinned up around your apartment - things that make you think, that encourage you to think outside your normal box. I like to buy a bunch of blank picture frames, hang them on the wall and a write on the glass so I can change up my quotes and they look better than scribbles on post-its. Also writing 'Morning Pages' (google it) can help get you unstuck.

Learn something new - get a subscription to skillshare and watch youtube videos. I didn't go to college to become a graphic designer - I taught myself everything I know and have been a successful designer for the last 5 years. Having a college degree isn't the be-all. Don't let fear of failure hold you back from even trying.

BOOKS to check out
Elle Luna 'The Crossroads of Should and Must'
Julia Cameron 'The Artists Way'
Dorothy Byrant 'The Kin of Ata'
Tim Feriss 'The Four Hour Workweek'
Sarah Knight 'Get your Sh*t Together'

Hope some of this helps and good luck! :)
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#4

Postby MrPossibility » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:08 am

Hey CaliforniaSandDollar,

I agree with the other posters here. You need to change it up, man! Your biocomputer (body and mind) is used to running the same old programming and while you keep doing that, NOTHING is going to change.

I noticed how you seem to be VERY clear on what you don't want. I also saw you have some ideas about what you want. LIke others have pointed out, money, nice things, nice place to live will NOT help you feel better about yourself.

Think more along the lines of what feelings will these things you want give you? You want to be raising your vibration to match what you desire. Focusing on the feelings instead of the things will make them come to you much faster. That being said, without action, you will be wasting your time.

I have desired all the things you are talking about. I have been pouring hours and hours into a new online business and even though it's hard, I'm moving towards my long held dreams, goals and desires. You gotta want it! Then you gotta take action on it. The reason we feel stuck is because our mind is in a prison. I created an online program that is designed to Free Your Mind so that you can start living a different (better) life by design.

Hope this helps!
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