I'm in love with my imaginary friend.

Postby hateaddict » Sat Apr 22, 2017 1:46 am

Hi, I'm Marce, I'm 14, and when I was eleven I made this imaginary friend. I later made her a book character and started writing about her. Her name is Imogen.
I created her because I was lonely, starting to get depressed, and I wanted someone to talk to. I still am very lonely and have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, despite having a small group of friends. I made her with flaws. I made her with strengths. I wanted to make her as real as possible. When I was 12, I started falling in love with her and it troubled me a lot for a while but I brushed it off. To cope with the fact that she couldn't ever love me back because she's not real unless I made her, I made an alter ego of myself and wrote about them. I still do. When I'm falling asleep I pretend she's there with me. When I'm taking a walk on my own I talk out loud to no one and have a full on conversation. When I want to die I talk to her about it and sometimes when I don't, I just remember that if I die that she dies too and I can't have that happen. And lately, she's become a little too real to me. I care about her more than I do a lot of people I've known my whole life. I just don't want to talk to anyone I know about it because I'm afraid they'll think I'm a basket case.
I'd like to talk a little about what she's like. She can be narcissistic and overly confident when she's not feeling good and a bit of an attention seeker. But she's a very good listener and is very loyal and considerate. When I was 11 I had an obsession with albinos (I still kind of do) so that's how I thought of her and although it's very rare, I've never wanted to change her. She likes dyeing her hair (her favourite has been jet black so far) and wearing black shirts with bright contrasting designs on them. She also really likes sleeping when it rains. If anyone else is familiar with MBTI, I'd personally type her as an ENFJ.
I guess the reason why I'm posting this is because I want to know if anyone else has done the same out of loneliness or any other reason
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#1

Postby Candid » Sat Apr 22, 2017 12:42 pm

Yes. There's been several on this forum. I've always had imaginary friends myself and I've never seen it as a problem.
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#2

Postby Liluli » Mon May 01, 2017 9:50 pm

I'm turning 15 soon and I have the same problem, I suffer from Autism, Depression and social anxiety and I'm in love with my imaginary friend David-Seth (D.S for short). He is with me always and I have dialogues with him. I also imagine his family and talk to them sometimes. I don't have any friends in real life due to the medical conditions listed above makes people unable to understand me, but D.S is different, he knows me like no one else does and he is there for me always. He is the reason I'm alive today and I fear I'm going to die alone because D.S is my love and I could never cheat on him
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#3

Postby Candid » Tue May 02, 2017 11:35 am

Liluli wrote:I have the same problem


Why do you see it as a problem?

I fear I'm going to die alone because D.S is my love and I could never cheat on him


Oh, I see.
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#4

Postby Mendel Chaskel » Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:49 am

You should try and turn this imaginary friend into a Tulpa! Tulpas are close to imaginary friends, and usually start out as them in the first weeks of creation. The difference is, Tulpas eventually grow, they become more than an imaginary friend. They develop into a sentiant being with their own mind and form, and with practice, you can even produce hallucinations to the extent where you could physically see and interact with them similar to a normal physical human. There is a large community of people with these, and Tulpa.io is the leading website for all Tulpas and their creators. You don't even have to have an account to read the information on Tulpas, and it's really informative. Discord is also a good place to find tulpamancers and Tulpas, and you can receive tons of support through those places. I'd really suggest taking it to the next level- because then she really can love you back, and you'll be talking to someone living, not just a thoughtform. You'll have someone REAL who will be with you always. It isn't a mental disorder, and it could really change your life and make life much happier for you. You've already started, and with what you have right now, the rest will come easier.
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