missing someone

Postby Beenwahiel2287 » Thu May 04, 2017 10:22 am

Hey,
I would like to receive some advice from you guys concerning a well-known issue. Well, I met this sweet and beautiful guy (I'm gay) a few months ago and we only dated twice, which is obviously not enough of a time to really get to know someone. anyway, on the second date we met and he stayed over in my place and we were cuddling and kissing and it felt so damn great, honestly, it’s been awhile since I’ve felt like that with someone. Unfortunately, he didn’t want to continue us dating and he told me later that he’s just not prepared for dating right now and perhaps in the future it’ll be more suitable.
Now, fast forward to present day (I did send him two or three messages in that period asking for his wellbeing etc.) I kind of thought about him in the last few days and I really want to tell him that I miss him and want to meet him again (Is it possible to miss someone after only meeting him twice?!).
My rationale is the following: sending that message to him is putting your energy on someone you have no point in pursuing. if he were to be interested in you, he would’ve contacted you by now, which obviously didn't happen. and the expectation for him to reply with the exact same tone would only create frustration and anxiety. Now, why the hell do I feel like doing it? I mean, I really felt good touching him and kissing him, it felt so damn good, I didn’t even care about the sex. Is there any point in contacting him?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu May 04, 2017 12:47 pm

You wait. If he is interested at maintaining any sort of relationship he will reach out to you.

There is the adage, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be."
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#2

Postby calvinTO » Tue May 09, 2017 1:17 am

Hey Been:

You're in a tough place, and I've been the same (gay) one. I've met guys, put "feelers" out, and sometimes get met with indifference or "not interested" and so on. Rejection is tough, but I know I have to put myself out there. I struggle. I know I have a lot going for me; yet I know that these guys have their reasons, and I have to let that be, and move on.

You hit it on the head when you write: "If he were to be interested in you, he would’ve contacted you by now, which obviously didn't happen. and the expectation for him to reply with the exact same tone would only create frustration and anxiety." Good to hear you get this.

Yet at the same time you want affection/attention. Who doesn't? And you've felt some chemistry. It's only natural you'd want to pursue him. I know that, for me, I wouldn't do anything more. I say to myself : He has my contact info and if he wants to see me he knows how to do so.

At the risk of causing yourself more anxiety, you might want to try one more text/email. But then you MUST be prepared to let it go if he reacts again with "no thanks."

Good luck and keep us posted.

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