I'd like to give up weed

Postby KSHG88 » Thu May 18, 2017 4:54 pm

Hi everyone,

I don't really know why I'm posting this, I don't really even know what I'm asking but here I am!

I'm coming up for 29, I'm a mother to two children under the age of 10.
I've been smoking weed since I was about 12/13.. daily use since I was about 15, I smoked weed from the moment I woke up to the minute I went to bed.. over the past say 6 months I've managed to wait until atleast 3.45pm before I have my first joint.. but I have slipped up on many occasions and have rolled one up at 9.15am.. once I've had one that's it, I'm on it all day! I can't have a joint and then smoke a normal roll up.. it just doesn't happen!

I have moments I want to give up, then I have moments where I justify it.. I have many reasons why I want to give up; firstly I'm in a community where smoking weed is frowned upon so it's like my big secret I guess! It is difficult because sometimes I'm paranoid that the person I'm speaking with can tell that I'm stoned, or maybe that they can smell it on me.
Or when someone knocks on my door unannounced; if I can I won't answer it, simply because I know the house stinks of weed and I wouldn't want them to smell it/judge me.. and if I do have to answer, there's the fear that they can indeed smell it.

Will they judge me? Will they report me? Just some of the thoughts that play in my mind.. my partner doesn't smoke at all, and confirms that the house does indeed smell very strongly of weed.

I also don't want my children to realise I smoke weed; not because they'd judge me but because I wouldn't want them telling someone and I end up being judged or worse reported!

Also I am due to go on holiday in a few months, something I've been avoiding for years simply because I know I won't be able to smoke weed there.. I do suffer with anxiety, I'm very anti social and I "hate people" ;) although will chat happily and confidently when I have to (school run for example).. I wonder if this is down to years of smoking? I find I can't make friends because we don't share the love of weed, I'd rather have my coffee with a joint rather than have it with nothing/someone.. but on the other hand I don't really want friends anyway? I'm so confused.. I've also found munchies are starting to cause an issue, as I'm getting older I find I can't eat half as much chocolate as I used to without the consequences; I'm putting on weight which isn't helping my confidence one bit; I'd love to be one of these ladies that excersise, I'd like to tone up etc.. but I simply can't be bothered, again I'd rather sit down with a coffee, joint and a chocolate cake..

Money is another, I normally buy about £100 worth a time; I stock up "just incase".. I really can't keep wasting my spare money on weed! Each time I buy some it gets that little bit harder to hand over the cash.

I hope that if I give up smoking weed, my moods will level out, I hope that I will have more energy because right now I am exhausted ALL the time!

I think I'll find the hardest is evenings, weekends.. I love a joint with a film, a coffee.. sometimes at night, I'll feel too "bloated" for another joint, so I'll eat something to absorb it just so I can smoke another joint.. does that make sense? It's ridiculous right?

My plan is I'll smoke through this weekend, simply because my partner and I have a weekend to ourselves and I wouldn't want to ruin it with withdrawal moods! I would like to make Sunday night my last smoke, I want to write my dealers phone number down and stick it in my stash tin.. get my partner to hide the stash tin and delete the dealers number from my phone.. the reason I want it hidden & not destroyed is incase I do have a re lapse, not only that but the thought of having none in the house would make it all abit worse.. maybe.. I'm not sure what best approach to take really.

What would you advise? Thankyou for taking the time to read my ramblings, it feels great being able to talk to someone about this!
KSHG88
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#1

Postby Olsen42 » Thu May 18, 2017 5:44 pm

To cope with withdrawing (i don't know how hard it will hit you, some people just feel irritated, some face terrible mental problems like heavy depression and anxiety), maybe start tampering, smoke once per day, then once per two days. Let your partner take the weed and "distribute doses" to you :) I've quitted "cold turkey" and it's very hard. Not in terms of not smoking, but in terms of functioning, i got heavy anxiety.

Deleting dealers' number is the way to go. Hiding it just shows you don't really want to quit.
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#2

Postby Lightweight » Thu May 18, 2017 9:23 pm

If I was you I would just cut down over next month or two before you totally quit. I did cold turkey and it wasn't good. If I had the choice again I would try and ween my self off it.
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#3

Postby Quinnster » Fri May 19, 2017 2:25 am

I would get rid of the numbers or you will be calling them. The biggest asset I had when I quit was I removed all of my ability to get it.
Also, all of the stuff you are describing like not liking people, preferring to be by yourself.... This is all being caused by the weed and goes away given time away from it. I'm at 3 months now. I wouldn't say I'm 100% back to my pre smoking self yet, but this is going in the right direction. You should give yourself the chance to be you again. It is worth the struggle.
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#4

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 5:58 pm

I agree with the other replies..tapper off slowly. I've been cold turkey now for 6 weeks and it's extremely hard same as loads of people depression and anxiety. Having said that quitting sounds like what you need. Your issues with not liking people or wanting friends are side effects from smoking I used to feel the same way. The house smelling of weed is certainly not good for your husband or children so go for it, tapper down and quit. Keep writing g on here because it's been a massive help to me people have been really supportive and it helps loads..good luck, you can do it x
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#5

Postby KSHG88 » Sun May 13, 2018 6:09 pm

Update! Since writing this post, I have successfully given up!!

I smoked as much as I possibly could in the run up to a holiday, the night before the holiday was my last night of smoking.

Come home from my holiday 5 days later and non weed smoker.. it was easier than I thought!

2 months later, I gave up smoking completely so I’m now 9 months weed free & 7 month smoke free.

I feel no different to be honest lol.

I’ve put on two stone since which I’m not happy about either.. although the lack stress of getting my next batch is worth it, and having anyone pop in when they feel like it is also great!

P.S just so you know, you do smell of weed!

I can smell it a mile off lol
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#6

Postby Cali-Detroit » Sun May 13, 2018 6:23 pm

Haha, oh I love that last line! Sooooo obvious. I thought I was so slick with my trifecta combo of cologne, clear eyes, and Listerine. Oh yes, not a soul will suspect I've just smoked two 1¼ joints back to back...no, not all. :P

Well done, 9 months is amazing! I'm at almost 6 weeks, and feeling crap constantly. One person on here advised me that it took him close to 3 years before he felt decent again, so just keep going. It's different for all of us, but heavy smokers and early starters I think have it the worst. Anyhow, I aspire to where you're at, so know you're inspiring others.

Take care
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#7

Postby Shelly32 » Sun May 20, 2018 8:20 pm

Ok so here it goes, for years i told myself i wasn't an addict that it wasn't the bad drugs so I'm totally ok(yeah right) 15 years on full time smoking for 13 years, I want to quit, currently I haven't smoked in 2 days and I'm thinking about it, i miss the mental block, lighting up and thinking and feeling nothing a break from my brain i call it (overthinker) mother of two children as well and I just want to be the best version of myself for me and them.... Not feeling any symptoms yet but I feel like they are going to come and give me a right kicking and I want to be prepared.... So I suppose I'm asking the newbies for help and support getting free from the plant.....
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#8

Postby Cali-Detroit » Sun May 20, 2018 8:54 pm

Hi Shelley,

Relative newb here, 56 days (8 weeks?), and yes, it's going to be rough. I also have 2 kids and I'm hoping to see a better version of myself as well. Many days, today included, I feel as if that is a hopeless and futile pursuit. At 8 weeks, my utter disgust with myself and my former habit has faded, but the stress and brain fatigue that is such a part of modern living remains. And I know exactly what could ease that pain, but I would defeat all my progress. So I'm left with the suffering. But that can be instructive and beneficial in the long term. Hang in there. I'll be checking back in
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#9

Postby Shelly32 » Tue May 22, 2018 12:10 pm

Thanks for the reply.... on mon night I had hot and cold sweats that was a weird horrible feeling but I eventually got to sleep and it was only that night so far..... I wake up angry in the mornings, I really need that to go away i never was a morning person but this is a new level.... when I get cravings I clean & organise which helps alot, other than that I'm doing well still early stages though .... we can do this cali, well done on the 8 weeks ☆
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#10

Postby Cali-Detroit » Tue May 22, 2018 5:37 pm

Yeah mornings are the worst, especially without that residual THC in your system.
All things you described are very normal for the stage you're in right now. Try some light exercise, even a walk. For the most part, it's misery though and there's no way to avoid it. Well, there's one way, but that not an option. Find little moments of joy, however small. Others here assure me that it will get better, and 6 months seems to be a milestone for most. One year, even better, and for very heavy hitters, 2-3 years for a full rewiring of the brain.
Those numbers are stifling, to be honest and I wonder how I'll make it to those markers. Day by day I guess. Hang in there and have faith...it's all we can do.
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#11

Postby Shelly32 » Tue May 29, 2018 12:03 am

So made it through a week on saturday, had a few stressful situations at work (bar *tourist location) and I did not break, I am really proud of myself, sleep still an issue takes a while to get there but when I go I am out cold.... skin and eyes are definitely brighter more outgoing than usual.... took your advise on the walking love it take my dogs out every evening now.... my partner has also seen the improvement and has now cut down to one joint in the evening himself and smokes at the bottom of the garden as too not disturb my recovery... still get cravings mostly in the evenings/night now, so I read the news on my phone which helps... miss the taste of weed as well as the high, not a big drinker so it's just not the same lol .... still hanging in there though hope all is still going well with you :)
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#12

Postby Cali-Detroit » Tue May 29, 2018 12:26 am

That's great to hear Shelley, I'm glad your working through it. It's the little things that can do the most.

I'm not a drinker at all, so it's all sober from here on out. June 4th with be two months, and it's creeping tbh, but I'm hanging in there.

Looking forward to the 90 days and then 6 months. It seems so far off and impossible but yet so did 2 months and here we are.

That's cool your partner is cutting back and respecting your journey...who knows, maybe they'll join you at some point. Everyone comes around in there own time.

Depending on your personality, you may notice some rough patches coming in the next few weeks but ride it out. Maybe you're a lucky one and you'll see smooth sailing. It's all a big faith journey at this point it seems, and though I may be American, I'm NOT religious, so it's a concept I'm not familiar with. But there's ample anecdotal evidence from people here who have done it and are doing it, and they all say it gets better and better and no regrets. So there's that.

I hear you on the smell...I'm a grower and when I'm around it fresh cut, or in flowering or jar cured for months, my mouth waters. But no slip ups as of yet. Maybe I'm a bit of a masochist, and by "maybe" I mean "certainly"...lol :lol:

Hang in there
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#13

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Tue May 29, 2018 10:05 pm

Shelly32 well done you over the first week, so gar so good. As cali-detroit has said you may feel worse over the coming weeks but just keep pushing through it can get tough but we have to believe it's all worth it. I've got 3 kids 17,15 and 5 and have been a heavy smoker for 24 years ! I'm now at just over 8 weeks sober and it's getting easier week after week. We need to do this for ourselves but also for our kids they deserve to have sober parents. Keep going, we're all here to support you...xx
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#14

Postby Shelly32 » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:50 am

Hey how are you guys getting on ?? So Ill be 3 weeks off it tomorrow, I can honestly say I never thought I would see the day, the mornings are alot easier now I'm not waking up like a grizzly bear, coughing up loads of crap smoke 3 cigarettes a day, I'll be getting off them soon too just not ready yet.... cravings are not as bad as they used to be just that evening one when you finally get sitting, I eat fruit strawberries or melon and it seems to be working or maybe I am just telling myself that but hey whatever works "right" ... I think the fact that I'm head strong has helped, moving to a new home real soon so that will be stressful, moving is always stressful so that will be my next hurdle.... hope you guys are keeping strong... cheers to a healthy life style and thanks so much for helping me, I honestly couldn't have got this far without you let's keep it going and keep ourselves on track.... ♡♡♡
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