Journey Journal

#15

Postby asgoodasitgets » Sat Apr 14, 2018 2:47 am

Hell yea! Congratulations. Keep up the good work :)
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#16

Postby Recovery1395 » Tue May 08, 2018 7:54 pm

Day 10

Unfortunately, I smoked on day 41 of my last stretch, but I am now back on track and feeling confident that I can beat this thing. I hear it takes multiple attempts for some people which is the case for me. In fact, it’s been hundreds of attempts. I always lose my focus and conviction after a string of recovery, letting my guard down.

Things are going great though. I got a 96 on my course and my final essay was nominated by my prof for a prize. I’m reading every day to improve myself and my mind. I’m also meditating almost every day, which I know helps. The supplements such as Omega 3-6-9 have been instrumental in making things easier.

I let myself down by smoking 10 days ago, but I’m recalibrated and going to make it this time. Just have to live in the moment and be grateful for all that you have. Can’t really explain my lapse, just lost focus on my long-term goals and settled for short-term pleasure.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Asgoodasitgets.
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#17

Postby asgoodasitgets » Tue May 08, 2018 9:33 pm

You are right. Love the line from Batman: "why do we fall? So we learn to pick ourselves up." You got this! It's all part of the process. Glad to hear you're back on the wagon. Blessings to you! :)
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#18

Postby Bagobones » Tue May 08, 2018 11:34 pm

I love The Dark Knight films. It looks like Bujinkan he learns, when he learns to fight with the League of Shadows. When he becomes Batman, in the far east.


To conquer fear, you must become fear


You got this Recovery1395, and remember:

There are two ways to do things: the right way and again!
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#19

Postby Recovery1395 » Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:02 pm

Day 23

Making progress. My biggest hurdle for recovery in the past has been cravings. Thanks to an assortment of supplements and vitamins I’ve been taking, the cravings have been almost non-existent. It has also helped to keep my days planned and busy. Being alone and off from work is a trigger for me, so I’ve made sure I’ve had something to do in situations like that.

Being a member of Toastmasters (a public speaking group) has been helpful. I recently completed my 10th speech since I started 1.5 years ago, which gave me a “Competent Communicator” designation. Achievement and a sense of accomplishment are instrumental to my personal recovery.

As far as the supplements and vitamins go, I have found that the compulsion to smoke weed is the result of faulty brain chemistry and wiring. These supplemtents help correct the various neurotransmitter deficiencies that long-term weed smokers suffer from. I highly recommend Omega 3-6-9 and Lecithin. I’m also taking B12, D3, C, 5-HTP, Magnesium, and a multivitamin. Perhaps you could say I’m now dependent on something else, but I’d much rather take these than resort to the mind-numbing, ambition-killing effects of weed.

Meditation is also helping as well as constant, voracious reading. I joined a new gym recently too, and have been working out.

Weed almost destroyed my life. It made me psychotic and mentally ill. Over the past few years, I’ve gradually regained a semblance of a life back. I still haven’t given up weed completely, but NOW’S THE TIME.

:)
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#20

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:02 pm

Recovery ..your doing so well, stay focused and positive I really believe you can do this. I'm at 9 weeks and starting to feel much better although anxiety is still hard going but bit by bit we will all get there. Keep going x
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#21

Postby Recovery1395 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 4:38 pm

Thanks Anxious_mary for the reply and encouragement...

Day 30

Made it back to a month today. I feel good about this. Like I could go forever without weed. I know, I know: take one day at a time.

Had an appointment with my shrink the other day. He was impressed by my accomplishments and agreed to reduce my antipsychotic meds by 10 mg. My goal is to try to get off them eventually and this is a good step towards that. I’m now down to 20 mg. I started at 50.

I guess in the past whenever I have relapsed, I realize now that I was not ready to give up. Now I feel ready and like I don’t need it, not even alcohol. I know my mind can change from day to day, but I feel strong and confident right now.

Best wishes. :D
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#22

Postby Recovery1395 » Sun May 12, 2019 1:40 am

DAY 0

Hello,

Since cannabis stores have opened in my hometown, I've found it very difficult to resist. They have things like pre-rolled joints and THC capsules and oils. I'm slowly losing my sanity and I have had bad repercussions at work. I need to get back on the wagon and off the weed. I will be using this journal once again to be accountable and keep track of my thoughts. Any support would be appreciated.

Thank you.
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