Why is this girl acting like this?

Postby adr_dsouza » Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:12 pm

Well I am a man living in India.To start off, about 10 years ago back in 2007 when I was a sophomore in university, a girl in my class I presume had some sort of romantic interest in me. She would always find ways to strike up a conversation with me etc. I was very shy back then being only 18 and used to avoid her. One day I decided to ask my friend to find out by asking her what her opinion on me was (he was told not to tell her that I am using him to ask for me) and he came back telling me that she thinks I am mature, sensible and appreciates me a lot. But then a few days later he goes and tells her that he told me everything what she said about me and she became very embarrassed of herself after that.

After this incident.She kept staring at me with a stony look after that for a couple of months but never spoke a word to me. Whenever I used to catch her staring, I used to not smile and look away.After that my friends used to tease her about her having a crush on me and she used to get irritated but My friend always used to urge me to greet her but I used to not heed his advice. We graduated in 2010 and that was the last I saw her in person.

Fast forward 10 years today - 2017. This girl has migrated to Canada, has a great job/career, is in a relationship with another man who is very successful too, I guess she's engaged to him from what I know since I check her profile out on Facebook sometimes whilst I am still here in third world India, unemployed, not completed my Masters degree which I started in 2013 and feeling like a complete loser with no sense of direction in life.

Right from the time we left college in 2010 and before she met this new guy, any attempts to communicate with her on Facebook results in her blocking me right away and not wanting to have anything to do with me. I want to apologise but that is not possible with what she is doing..

Why do you think she is behaving like this? Did she really have a romantic inclination towards me then and is still butt hurt that is leading her to behave like this till now? What do you feel?
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#1

Postby Reality » Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:29 am

Every person has the right to go their own way, regardless if you understand it or not.
I would accept the situation and move on.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:34 am

adr_dsouza wrote:Why do you think she is behaving like this? Did she really have a romantic inclination towards me then and is still butt hurt that is leading her to behave like this till now? What do you feel?


Your friends teased her and you treated her like she was not important. It seems pretty clear why she would not want to be your friend. Whether or not she did or did not have a romantic inclination ten years ago is irrelevant today.
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#3

Postby angelal » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:15 pm

Sounds like she has feelings for you. Maybe she was mad or hurt you didn't make a move? You said you look her up on facebook sometimes. Do you have feelings for her?
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#4

Postby Livetowin » Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:46 pm

Before I would worry about her motivations, I might ask why you are still obsessing over this ten years after the fact? Not that it matters at this stage, but I would most likely believe whatever observation she had about you being mature and self-contained were obliterated when she found out you were incapable of asking her basic questions without resorting to deceit to uncover the answers. This is not rocket science. It's just a question of integrity. She thought you had it and you didn't. You disappointed her with this juvenile stunt and she moved on. Imagine how she would feel if you she knew you were snooping around today? Same issue. Time for some self-evaluation. Work on your own identity so you can ask the questions you want to ask yourself. But it helps to know who you are first so you know which questions to ask.
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