How do you deal with someone who denies everything?

Postby happy14 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 2:48 pm

I have a friend who once asked me about someone I knew and he asked me about him, I said he was different, as in different from us as he is a bit more eccentric.

Now what's happened is that he has gone and told this third party that I apparently said he isn't a nice person, now this is completely false, saying someone is different from saying that they are not nice people. Why he would do that God knows but he has had a habit of twisting other people's words in the past as well.

This has created problems for me as I have tried to clarify my stance with this third party but get test feeling that I'm both being believed as he has stopped being friendly towards me but remains friendly with the person who created team differences, this person I bump into a lot of the time and also his family as well but made things awkward, I have confronted this stupid friend who has created the differences and he denies it constantly.

How do you deal with such a toxic person who denies everything g and twists people's words?
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:07 pm

happy14 wrote:How do you deal with such a toxic person who denies everything and twists people's words?

Don't talk to him.
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#2

Postby tokeless » Sat Jul 08, 2017 4:43 pm

You choose different friends.... or he admits what he said was wrong to the third party friend but even then I'd dump him as a friend.
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#3

Postby Livetowin » Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:02 pm

There's a few things here that need to be considered. First, whether or not you said something that could have been construed as a negative connotation doesn't change the fact you are seeking approval from that person (and anyone else in his court) who believes what was said was somehow inappropriate. You need to give that up.

If your intentions are well meaning but some want to believe otherwise then you need to remove those people from your life. This other person gossiping to them might have been a factor, but ultimately if all it takes is for some babbling moron to solidify their position against you without squaring the facts, then that says more about them than anything they conclude about you.

Don't waste your time chasing after fake friends whom you feel you have to "clear your name" with to regain acceptance. They didn't arrive at that judgement honestly so why are you acting like they did? Forget the clown who told them and take those judging you out to the trash with him.
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#4

Postby happy14 » Fri Jul 14, 2017 12:11 am

Livetowin wrote:There's a few things here that need to be considered. First, whether or not you said something that could have been construed as a negative connotation doesn't change the fact you are seeking approval from that person (and anyone else in his court) who believes what was said was somehow inappropriate. You need to give that up.

If your intentions are well meaning but some want to believe otherwise then you need to remove those people from your life. This other person gossiping to them might have been a factor, but ultimately if all it takes is for some babbling moron to solidify their position against you without squaring the facts, then that says more about them than anything they conclude about you.

Don't waste your time chasing after fake friends whom you feel you have to "clear your name" with to regain acceptance. They didn't arrive at that judgement honestly so why are you acting like they did? Forget the clown who told them and take those judging you out to the trash with him.


This is very good advice, why seek this persons approval when it's not necessary. Why do we in general give someone that importance when it's not needed, the fact is that because they value their own opinion and expect us to change their mind we sometimes get duped into thinking that we need their approval when in fact its not important.
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