15 years of weed - Day 1 of freedom

#30

Postby StubItOut » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:22 pm

Habit: 15 years daily smoker
Quantity: 0.5 ounce a month
Daily joints average: 3
Quit day: 20
Days smoking: 3
Joints smoked: 4

Hey people. Just checking in quickly to say that I am still here fighting the good fight.

Haven't posted as I have been busy, which is good I guess as it has kept my mind off of smoking.

However I did smoke my Sunday joints which anybody who has been following this thread knows about.

I was a little hungover on Sunday after a friend's birthday celebrations on Saturday night. My friend who rolls my joints was out of town until about 7 pm as well so I didn't collect then till late in the evening. By that point I wasn't even bothered about smoking but I had one anyway. Just amplified my hangover and I got in bed and went to sleep early.

I had a joint left over because he rolls me too so I smoked that last night in the evening. So I ended up splitting my joints over two days which sucked a bit because that's not what I intended.

Smoking yesterday just made me feel anxious and I didn't enjoy being high at all. I've got some stuff going on right now and I don't need to be dwelling on it which is what being high made me do. At this point I can say quite confidently that the cravings I still get are definitely mainly coming from nicotine withdrawal rather than a desire to get high. Although I am still struggling to turn my brain off without the thc.

Not sure how long I will continue thisnplan of smoking on Sundays. Maybe a couple more and see how I feel about stopping that as well.

I am proud of what I have achieved so far. 4 joints in 20 days down from an average of 3 joints every day.

It's definitely getting easier now as well. I still think about weed quite a lot and I still get moments of wishing for a joint but they pass quicker. I'm also finding that I'm filling my time more naturally now. I'm sure everybody can relate to that feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself when you stop smoking weed. You have to make a conscious effort to fill the void but after 20 days it'd happening a lot easier and I find I fall into tasks and alternative things to do without thinking too much about it.

I definitely 100% have noticed I am a more placid person now I've stopped smoking. I'm more calm and I don't snap like I usually do. I find it easier to let things go rather than getting hung up on everything.

Ive also been way more engaged with my family and friends. I've enjoyed spending time with people rather than wishing I didn't have to go out somewhere because I'm stoned or thinking about when I can go home to smoke more weed. It's a nice feeling.

I hope this thread is helping someone. If you'd have told me 2 months ago I'd get to a point where I'd only smoked 4 joints in 3 weeks I would have laughed in their face. It is possible people, you just have to be persistent.

All the best
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#31

Postby naturegirl » Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:07 am

You're so awesome. I swear there are those days that just seem so hard. It would be so easy to just let go. I'm so proud you decided to hang in there tough. Quitting weed is like a wave. We have our ups and then our downs. I'm glad that I'm trying to do this now because quitting during the school year is not fair to the kids. I've had those days where I felt absolutely evil. LOL Thanks for the push to check in. I've been wondering about you and a few others. It's good to know that you're not the only one trying to quit this habit. My friend wanted to take me to an NA meeting, but I feel like I can't relate to those people. Quitting pot is different than quitting other hardcore drugs. It's so hard to explain to someone that's not there. That's why I like this forum. I like knowing that other people are struggling and that they get it. Hang in there my friend. We will all have are good days and our bad days. This is going to be a long and slow process. It is what it is. Big cheers to your sobriety!
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#32

Postby gsaint28 » Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:47 pm

congrats on where you are now 8)
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#33

Postby naturegirl » Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:40 pm

Hey, I hate the long silence! What the heck is going on? Are you okay? Check in. What's on your mind. Good or bad! Spit it out. Hope all is well. Be good to yourself.
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#34

Postby StubItOut » Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:03 pm

Habit: 15 years daily smoker
Quantity: 0.5 ounce a month
Daily joints average: 3
Quit day: 33
Days smoking: 5
Joints smoked: 8

Hello people. It's been a while.

Well, ups and downs. Everything had been going as planned, still abstaining Monday to Saturday and smoking a couple of joints on a Sunday.

I felt like I was content and things were becoming easier. But on Friday I finished work and got the urge to smoke. I smoked 2 joints. I didn't even think much about it, there was no internal fight, no struggle, no conflict. I just got the urge and got on to a friend who facilitated it.

I didn't smoke Saturday but then I had my two usual smokes yesterday. So today is day 33 and I've smoked 8 joints across 5 days. It's still a great achievement but today has been a struggle.

I've thought long and hard about buying a stash. I've enjoyed the benefits of not smoking weer every day but boy do I miss those times where you just need a joint. To chill, to wash the troubles away, for the solitude, whatever it is, today I miss it greatly.

I'm having all those conflicting thoughts about weed, how it's not so bad etc. Deep down I know I don't want to go back to smoking it everyday but I so wish I could have some at the ready and just be in control.

Even though smoking on a Sunday has worked to this point I know in my head all I've really done is find a way to carry on smoking that I feel is justifiable.

Im at a cross roads today and it's hard. Weed has been a part of my life for so long I feel like something is missing. I miss it.
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#35

Postby naturegirl » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:01 pm

The fact that you are tapering down and not making it an everyday habit is awesome. This is such an incredibly hard habit to break and when you have been doing something as long as a lifetime, it's not easy to change. You do what you feel is right for you. Keep doing some deep soul searching and figure out what pot means to you. I know that we are getting older and it's important to protect the mind.

I'm happy to hear from you and to know your struggles.
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#36

Postby StubItOut » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:30 pm

Thanks for your reply nature girl.

Im keeping up with your thread just so you know.

I wish I could get as much out of my head and into a post for this forum like you seem to be able to.

I used to be good at putting my thoughts down but I can't seem to do it at the moment. So much going on in my head but when it comes to writing it all down I can't seem to do it.
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#37

Postby naturegirl » Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:54 am

Well, I tend to not edit what's on my mind and just write. We both have that mind that keeps on working. Sometimes it's good for me to just let it out. I never know what's going to come out. I'm glad that you're staying connected. This is such an emotional journey. It's hard facing the sober me.
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#38

Postby StubItOut » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:42 pm

Hello people, it's been a while.

A lot has happened since I last posted here around 18 months ago....

So I completely failed at this quit attempt which is basically why I stopped posting. I carried on smoking weed as normal and became quite happy with it again for the most part. Kinda just accepted it almost to the point where I felt like it was just going to be a part of my life forever.

However! The stars kind of aligned for me at the end of 2018 and I have now been weed and tobacco free since December 30th. Something happened that meant I was going to have a lot of free time on my hands for 6 weeks and I didn't like the thought that I would waste a lot of it being stoned. I ran out of weed and tobacco at the same time and I just thought it was a good time to try and quit again. And as of right now I'm like 6 weeks clean and I feel fantastic. Strangely I haven't actually found it that hard to quit this time, I basically threw myself into a whole heap of other activities and before I knew it I'd gone days without weed, then a week and then two weeks and so on. I've even been around people smoking weed and with the exception of the odd fleeting moment I haven't really even been tempted.

Ive revisited this thread today because I don't want to become complacent and it's a reminder that it isn't easy. Also to let anyone else struggling know that even if it feels like attempting to quit is futile it can be done and once you get past a couple of weeks it really does become easier. The longer you go the less you want to smoke.

I honestly feel great. I genuinely do. I feel fresh and best of all I don't have this strange underlying anxious feeling that was present when smoking cannabis. It was massively heightened when actually stoned but it was also constantly there in the background too, lots of overthinking etc and I find this has lessened greatly. I also feel like I make far better use of my time, it's almost like more hours in the day have appeared from somewhere which is strange because smoking used to pass the time so you'd think the days would feel longer when stoned and not doing much but it's not the case. Best of all I feel like I'm engaging with my child a lot more too. I feel like I've always been a good parent and I've obviously never actually been stoned around my child but just in general I feel like I'm more present in my own mind (if that makes sense) and obviously in turn my child gets a much better version of me, which i love the thought of.

I think around weeks 3 & 4 I experienced a few episodes of short temper but it wasn't too bad and it's gone away now. My sleep has deteriorated but I can live with it and I guess it will get better with time.

Not sure I will post often here as I'd prefer weed not to be any type of focal point in my life, I just want to put it behind me and move on. I may check in from time to time but just really wanted to see if I could provide some sort of motivation for someone else and also remind myself of how I felt when I started this thread.

All the best

Stubitout 2.0
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