Do you regret being in denial?

#15

Postby f/j » Fri Dec 22, 2017 5:28 am

f/j wrote:Update: I now have a social life, but I feel like it's really structured and boring, and therefore not exactly closure-inducing.

Like, I'm no longer a NEET, but my social life only consists of small talk. I miss when I had people to talk to about my interests, even though back then, it consisted of me bugging people who were uninterested. To be fair, it's partially a confidence thing that I no longer have the nerve to do that.
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#16

Postby f/j » Sat Dec 23, 2017 3:43 pm

f/j wrote:Only 'cause I have no social life, and therefore no closure and proof that people are not like the people from my past. I believe that if the first two or so years of my trauma still happened, but if I had never learned how to go in denial and my peers from 2012-2016 were as nice as I assumed they would be, I would not be here yapping about my lack of closure.

HumanB wrote:So develop a better social life, instead of hiding, instead of continually raising self-doubts, instead of beating yourself up (...about decisions/events which are past, gone, finished, done, no longer exist). What's stopping you? Fear of rejection? If so, that's a common fear, and like everyone else with that fear you are going to have to risk rejections (and learn how to cope with them) if you want to find out where you fit in and who you can connect well with.
If you develop a more accepting view of yourself, which is independent of how you perceive others to be judging you, that will strengthen & help you. When you practice better self-acceptance, as well as having more peace of mind you will also find that you are more open and relaxed with others and that in itself will help you to form better relationships.

Guess I should indeed do that. When I wrote this, I at least had the excuse of being a NEET with few offline social outlets. Now, I actually have one, and yet I complain that it's so boring and filled with lame small talk. Maybe I should just become more outgoing.
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#17

Postby f/j » Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:04 am

Like I said, at least when this thread was new, I at least had the excuse of having no one to talk to. But now, I don't. I always get socially anxious and then I get all angry that I have no one to talk to, and then I'd cry and get angry about my past and use it as a scapegoat, kinda like the comic I'm gonna post below: Image
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