Journal. Just want to.

Postby No0ne » Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:20 pm

Wake up like 14:00.
Eated some food, but I didnt really wanted it.
All day I think, i will be using PC.
Now im just sitting and listening music with my earphones with all sound on.
This song its just perfect.
Alan Walker ft. Zara Larsson- Tears.
Still hate myself.
Its not that bad.
But its bad anyway.
So thats for today.
Computer, music and my fu*ked mind.
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#1

Postby No0ne » Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:36 pm

Yup, that was my day, But I was wrong. Its really bad. My mind its too f***ed and depressed, I cant control my emotions, Im angry, very angry, and sad. Yup. Crying again. Very happy life. Like why I am still living..
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#2

Postby Zanoni » Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:22 pm

You make your own reason. Good luck with it.
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#3

Postby No0ne » Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:01 pm

I didnt really understand what u mean by saying that, but okey.
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#4

Postby No0ne » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:05 am

New day. I woke up 14:00. I still feel bad.
But now I feel anger on one girl, who stole my friend, and worse is that its my fault that i lost him.
And that anger kills me, it was like long ago, but someone reminded that for me, and now I cant think abou anything else.
Going to make some coffee.
When turn on pc, music and just live in big not that scary internet world, because I cant handle real one.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 31, 2017 5:01 pm

No0ne wrote:When turn on pc, music and just live in big not that scary internet world, because I cant handle real one.


Get rid of your PC. Use a hammer, smash it, disconnect it and throw it in the garbage. Stay off the Internet for a year. Buy an old style flip phone with no Internet.

Without a PC you can focus on slowly reintroducing yourself to reality. Go for a walk in the park each day, read a real book, spend time out in nature and outside 4 walls.
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#6

Postby No0ne » Mon Jul 31, 2017 5:05 pm

If I could, I dont want to, because I am weak and scared of everything, I dont want to be outside, outside made my life like this, I dont want to be more sad than I am.
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 31, 2017 5:56 pm

No0ne wrote:...outside made my life like this,


No it didn't. You have chosen your path. You are choosing to remain sad. If you want that to change, you can. That is also a choice you can make.

You created this thread, because you want to change, you want to make different choices. But, posting about wanting it won't do much of anything for you.

Bottom line, do it or don't do it. If you want to say you can't then continue on the same path, make no changes, live in the virtual world and this thread is nothing more than you wasting your time in the virtual world.

Either way, whatever path you choose from here forward, best of luck to you.
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#8

Postby No0ne » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:06 pm

I created this, because I want support, because things got too bad, for me to handle alone. im scared to be too sad for living.
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:23 am

No0ne wrote:I created this, because I want support, because things got too bad, for me to handle alone. im scared to be too sad for living.


You need real life support, not virtual support. This will not help you, it will only enable you and make your reliance on your computer worse, not better.
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#10

Postby No0ne » Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:55 pm

This day was better. I woke up earlier. Went to city, because had to do some things there. I feel better. Not that sad anymore.
Started to do things that normal people do, and what I need to do. So things today become better. Its good to feel better.
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#11

Postby No0ne » Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:17 pm

Uh, day end wasnt that good, I heard things that I wouldnt want to know, that ruined my mood. And that sad.
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#12

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:50 pm

No0ne wrote:Uh, day end wasnt that good, I heard things that I wouldnt want to know, that ruined my mood. And that sad.


That has nothing to do with a virtual or real world. You could hear things in either world and in both you choose to let things ruin your mood. In fact, in the virtual world it is even more so. You simply choose to be moody about whatever minor thing you believe inconvenienced your life.

Try gaining some perspective in life. Was your mood being ruined such a horrible, tragic outcome? Was it too difficult to handle, your mood being ruined? Did you lose a leg, an arm? Were you tortured, robbed, raped? No? Your "mood was ruined"? That was the most difficult thing that happened to you today?

Start with the worst thing that happened is your ruined mood and it sounds like you have a pretty nice life.
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#13

Postby No0ne » Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:38 pm

I dont say that I dont have a nice life, I just cant enjoy it. U dont understand me. Its nice to feel happy after some time, and its sad to ruin that happy mood. That thing which I heard broke my heart, Its about someone, who I love, but its a different story. You dont know me, so dont judge.
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#14

Postby laureat » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:46 pm

You have to search for pride,

It is people who surrender on everything that feel like that, but if you start to do what makes you feel proud about, you will get back that excitement that energy

And good times, yeah, learn how to enjoy your day
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