Quit weed 2,5 months ago. Hasn´t gone so well

Postby dariaengse » Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:51 am

So I quit 2,5 month ago after smoking every day for over 6 years, age 16-23. Usually 1-2 grams a day...

I´m glad the anxiety, paranoia, insomnia and crazy sweating is behind me. Tinnitus came and went. I´m proud to have gotten through the horrible initial withdrawals and thats my social skills is better. I´ve made new friends and my old ones say I look fresh and feel they can really connect with me now. I´m also better with girls and my short term memory is not completely shattered.

But I´m still struggling. So depressed. So fatigued. I have no sex drive. Getting a girl now just leads to awkwardness and feelings of shame and I have no interest in masturbating. I still have really bad cognitive skills and short term memory, so really bummed about that. And the worst part is I´m living in this constant derealized state. Thats the one thing that gets me down the most.

I can live with all this and I have faith it will get better after a while. But I heard derealization might never go away and in that case, what´s the point? I think if I still have this after 5+ years, I´ll just be a stoner again.

So yeah.. Managed to quit weed after I had some deep realizations about the reasons behind the addiction. And I feel empowered by being able to quit. I have bat sh** crazy dreams every night, which is pretty cool and makes me hopeful my brain is still recovering. But all the negatives just brings me down and makes me feel it was too late. Especially for the short term memory and the constant derealization.
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#1

Postby dariaengse » Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:32 pm

Almost 4,5 months now. Libidos getting better, mood a little better, anxiety has gotten a little worse... Still struggling with derealization, depression, fatigue, problems falling asleep. Tinnitus came back and went again. Dreaming crazy dreams every night. Feels like the progress is I´m taking 5 steps forward and 4,5 steps back and my brain is healing really slowly..

So far the only benefits are that I´m not paranoid, I´m more emotionally available and have better memory + cognitive skills and thinking faster. But I have all these other problems. When I smoked weed every day I was at least happy and I could always sleep. I guess this will take many more months
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#2

Postby seeingthelight » Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:45 pm

Thank you for sharing your progress. I think it affects everyone differently. I felt absolutely awful during the first 2 weeks (24 days clean now!!) It seems like after the 2nd week a lot of the discomfort has left. Instead of being anxious and down 24/7, I have moments and sometimes days that feel normal again. Instead of tossing and turning every night, I'm getting good sleep 5 out of 7 days a week. It's a long bumpy ride, but hang in there and keep doing what you're doing and glad to here about all the positives you're experiencing!!
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#3

Postby dariaengse » Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:10 pm

And thank you for replying! Good job with the 24 days! The first two weeks were definitely the worst for me as well, especially with the extreme anxiety (constant heart palpitations) and that it was impossible to fall asleep. After that it has been more bearable and there´s good moments, but it takes a toll that this struggle takes so long.
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#4

Postby seeingthelight » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:20 pm

It's not an easy thing to do, which is why you have to be proud of yourself when you make progress! I'd bet to say a lot of people are stuck in the rut, because they don't want to face the obstacles of changing. Everyone I've ever known who gave it up, went on to lead good lives. So there are better things coming your way on the other side. You don't have to ever question that
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#5

Postby DillonAF » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:53 pm

Hey man, I’m 9 days in and I’m already feeling a lot better. I commend you for quitting and bettering yourself. The only side affects I’m having so far is not being able to fall asleep some nights. Other than that I feel great. and also do you exercise at all that might be able to help the sex drive
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#6

Postby DillonAF » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:54 pm

And also I was a heavy user for about 6 months straight. About 4-5 blunts a day :/
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#7

Postby dariaengse » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:27 am

Thanks guys! Been exercising almost every other day, more fit than ever. Have gotten a couple girls as well. Everyone can see how my life is so much better, it´s just that I feel how much my brain is damaged right now. But I´m proud of myself for quitting though. The hardest thing I´ve ever done, but if I get through this I´ll be so f***ing strong in the end I guess
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#8

Postby Soberchic » Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:15 am

It takes awhile..depends on how much used and how long. Ill be coming up on 15 months in 2 wks and im finally almost 100% better. I smoked for 18yrs daily, it took me 7 to 8 months to start to see a turn around. For me even at 6 months i wasnt getting sleep and had racing thoughts. For some it can take 2 yrs for the brain to fully recover.. Hang in there your de-personalization symptoms will go away eventually.. It takes time hang on tight. My libido is just starting to come back at 14 months..but that happened wgen i quit booze and pills same exact timeframe for me.. Everyone is different
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#9

Postby dariaengse » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:16 pm

Thanks a lot and congrats with 15 months! Can´t wait to get there myself. I always thought it would only take a month or two to get my mind back on track, but now I believe this can take more than a year. Hoping for a turnaround myself after 6 months or so
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#10

Postby dariaengse » Tue Dec 12, 2017 2:24 pm

5 months and 1 week. Just a few more days and I´ll be done with this year at university. Can´t believe I managed as well as I did. Short term memory isn´t shot anymore and I guess that applies to my cognitive skills as well. But studying while living with derealization, fatigue and anxiety hasn´t been easy. Had to leave in the middle of to lectures because of nausea, heart palpitations and hot flashes and stayed home many days. So f***ing tired of physical anxiety symptoms, don´t even feel I have a problem with psychological anxiety issues, maybe except from an irrational fear of having to vomit..

Still depressed most of the time, but the depression and anxiety comes in waves, sometimes I actually feel really good. And for the last two weeks I´ve had no problems with falling asleep. That´s something I really really appreciate!

Going to my home town for the holidays. Gonna be living with my parents with weed in the house and catch up with stoner friends. Gonna be really hard to resist smoking, but I have to do it.

Objectively speaking, my life is so much better. Made friends, pulled girls, started a prestigious study course, got a new improved job, great physical health and actually dealing with emotions.

But I really need improvements before the summer, can´t live with these psychological issues for the next semester. And I really don´t want to take daily antidepressants or anti-anxiety pills...
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#11

Postby dariaengse » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:06 pm

Almost 6,5 months... Was so close to relapsing during the winter break many times, but still going. Still struggling. Been able to beat the anxiety lately, so that´s not hindering me in any way anymore. The tinnitus just left again today. Problems falling asleep came back. Depression and derealization are constant. Fatigued all the time, but I get up and do everything I´m supposed to now. Objectively speaking my life went surprisingly good last semester and I´m confident it will go well this semester as well from an outside perspective. But the internal struggle is real..

I guess I´ve learned that my PAWS symptoms comes in waves. Some periods all I´d ask for is to rid the constant anxiety symptoms and wondering why I have a constant metallic sound in my left ear. Now I´m in a period without those problems and I just want so bad to rid the depression and derealization + fatigue.

To think I went years advocating for weed use and saw no backsides. Now I´m one of the people feeling it ruined my mind. I´ve gone through so much sh** in my life, but this half a year has been the worst period in my life by far, even though everyone else thinks I´m doing so good now.

6,5 months with a cocktail of psychological and physical withdraw symptoms. On top of that, all my suppressed childhood issues is on the surface again. All my emotional issues I used to run away from has to be dealt with. I have vivid dreams I remember every single night, often horrible. I also have to deal with the fact that I missed so many opportunities and made so many wrong decisions during the 7 years I smoked. I kind of started a new life at 23 years old, but with the emotional intelligence of a 15 year old and with other reference points and experiences than normal people.

I dream of catching up with society and I of getting a stable psyche. If I manage to achieve this I will be so strong. But I´m worried I will never be the same, worried I have to keep living inside my own head in this derealized state passing through life without ever experiencing sincere natural happiness ever again.
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#12

Postby Marcster44 » Wed Jan 17, 2018 5:34 am

Dude I'm five months sober offdaganji. And I'm dealing with the same psychological issues. I started at 12 and I'm almost 26 now. I had probably a dozen breaks of a month or 2 that whole time. But ya I've just learned to accept all the issues and to just be grateful each time I notice I've made improvements. Its a trip how I'm dealing with the anger issues I had from my adolescence again. But ya I guess pot didn't solve them just suppressed them and left couple more issues on top of it. But ya my best advice is to be grateful and to be more selfless and help others. It helps me get away from thinking about myself a bit

Cheers mate. Patience and long suffering is the route of recovery but it is Almost always worth it in the end.
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#13

Postby theodor » Wed Jan 17, 2018 11:22 am

I've been a weed, tobacco and alcohol addict. Currently I'm left with alcohol. My good old friend. Whom I will leave behind as well.

Weed is one of the most interesting drugs out there, while it boosts creativity, promotes good sleeping patterns, it leaves you mentally impaired and demotivated.

The thing is I never wanted to quit weed, I just wanted other goals, and leaving weed aside was a means to get to my other, more important goals. I will definitely smoke again, but clearly very rarely.

Now, I want to tell you that most of the things you are feeling, you may think that weed is to blame, I think 1 month is enough for your brain to recover, you may still be a bit impaired compared to others, since you smoked in your teenage years and not later, but think carefully whether your depression/anxiety is really caused by weed, try to look deeper, changes are that you have other psychological problems that need to be solved.

I think that weed was for you a coping mechanism for something, something that right now translates into depression. Try to identify the reason you smoke weed, then try to find other coping mechanisms. The difference between us and those internated in the crazy people hospital is that we have these mechanisms that can alienate pain, they don't.

cheers
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#14

Postby Marcster44 » Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:18 am

For starters...Weed doesn't give you good sleep patterns bud. Look up REM rebound. Look up tip of the tongue recall. Both problems related to pot abuse. 2nd. I wasn't depressed at all when I was 12 and all years before. Take it or leave it. I just developed a love for the plant from the get go. Your a waste of my energy. Just take your drunk donkey to a rehab and get off this forum you depressed wino
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