Can't f***ing speak properly now, will this ever get better

#30

Postby Flucktoo » Sun Sep 24, 2017 8:26 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Flucktoo wrote: But you don't know anything about me, and you don't know what's happened to me throughout my life as I didn't put it in my post.


Where, where, where did you learn this crap? Seriously, I'm curious. Your parents, friends, a teacher, social media? You truly have been thoroughly indoctrinated to be helpless. The above is the identity excuse.

The identity excuse is the trained, learned defense of the helpless. When someone offers advice you don't like, tell them they don't know you. The next step is to say that regardless of what advice is provided, the person providing advice can't possibly understand you as they have not experienced your life. It is the classic thought process of the victim.

"You don't know me, you have never experienced my life, you don't know what it is like to be (insert label here)."

This excuse of victimhood is pervasive in society, so I'm not actually surprised a vulnerable 15 year old has bought into it.

It only takes but a little bit of logic to see the flaw in the 'identity excuse' ideology, but at 15 you have not yet developed critical thinking skills. Stop listening to your current teachers in life that are keeping jyou a victim. Find new, better role models that do not believe in victimhood.

And I do know something about you. You have Internet access. You have shelter, food, water, and electricity. You have access to drugs. You have access to education and health care. You are a lucky, fortunate 15 year old, but you have been indoctrinated to believe you are helpless.

BTW, I actually am a psychologist :shock:

Well I mean you said you weren't in your bio, so how am I gonna know? You don't seem like one, and you're going on about listening to your "advice" but you haven't given me any other than saying I'm playing as a helpless victim and I should stop. Yes I have shelter and food, the most rudimentary human needs possible, but in no way do those things feed the soul or create any sense of fulfilment of contentment. All those things I "should be happy with" are merely keeping me alive. How have I been "indoctrinated" to believe I am helpless? I came to the philosophical conclusion that yes, some people really are just given a shitty hand in life, along with brain chemistry and environment. I guess I am a victim, I never had a father figure, I have aspergers, I've been bullied when I was younger despite fighting back with force, my mum has had explosive rages at me my entire life saying despicable things to me ever since I was a small boy, I've never been able to have long distance relationships with people and have never had any steady friends, I have ADHD (yes, it is a thing, caused by nature or nurture I don't know, but it definitely does exist as a set of negative characteristics) which has caused me trouble concentrating at school, I have this constant need for attention as I need constant reassurement that people like me and to make me feel adequate, and I've been clinically depressed since I was 13. There you go, so that's why I'm such a victim. Although I personally consider someone a victim if they don't do anything about what's happened to them, and not someone that has actively been trying to fight all this his whole life but has come to the conclusion that there really isn't much they can do anymore
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#31

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:28 pm

Flucktoo wrote:Well I mean you said you weren't I your bio, so how am I gonna know?


You don't. Your thoughts, your opinions should be evaluated on what you say, not on the fact a 15 year old said them. Your opinions should be evaluated on what you say, not on the fact a male with aspergers said them. Equally, you should evaluate the opinions based on what is said instead of who says it. Evaluate the merits of an opinion based on the logic, not the gender, race, age, ethnicity, education, degrees, endorsements, likes, thumbs ups, or medals pinned on their chest.

Don't get me wrong, there is a purpose of credentials, there is value in social proof. It does allow a person that is under time pressure or when the perceived consequences are low to make quicker decisions. Those criterion don't apply in here.

Yes I have shelter and food, the most rudimentary human needs possible, but in no way do those things feed the soul or create any sense of fulfilment of contentment.


And who is responsible to provide you those things that feed the soul? Your mother, your absentee father, teachers, your peer group, society, me? Who is responsible to create for you a sense of fulfillment and contentment in life?

Note: Every person has a story of their struggles. Every person has a story of how their past shaped and formed who they are today. Every person has their personal mix of nurture and nature that has taken them on a journey as they faced whatever obstacles came their way in life. I have met very, very few people that have not faced their fair share of challenges in life, that have never had a medical issue, never lost a loved one, never been rejected, never experienced pain.

Who is responsible to feed this guy's soul?

https://youtu.be/6P2nPI6CTlc
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#32

Postby Flucktoo » Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:34 pm

quietvoice wrote:
Flucktoo wrote:Thanks god I read this while on Oxys, my ego would've got very triggered.

Flucktoo wrote:None of what you said was true, and I no, I didn't need Oxys to "handle the truth", I was in a happy state where I could look at your comment in an unbiased state with no corruption by a defensive ego, and all of what you said was still wrong

Do you see how your statements are contradictory?

No I don't, but why does that even matter?
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#33

Postby Flucktoo » Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:42 pm

quietvoice wrote:
Flucktoo wrote: I've been mostly sober for 3 months now

If you are taking other drugs (including alcohol), do you not see that they would have an effect on your state of mental and physical health, and your concerns may not all be related to marijuana withdrawal?

Edit:
And this statement here is not in the mainstream thinking—even cooked foods are drugs, and most of the world's population is (unwittingly) addicted and suffering from the effects of it—witness the huge medical industry.

Yeah I'm aware, I haven't drunk much in my recovery but I have had a few binges social or not. I try to stay healthy, but I honestly am starting to feel very hopeless and out of control of what's happening to me. I need something to calm my nerves for a while, I'd go completely suicidal without a break from these feelings. There's so many different stories of people in similar shoes to me, and some have a good ending and some not, so I'm really anxious at the moment
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#34

Postby Flucktoo » Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:50 pm

LondonScouse wrote:Lay of the kid...

Truth is, none of you know how it is to be him, so if you're not going to offer valuable advice, there is no need to try and make yourself feel better by putting the kid down.

Can you not read his initial message ? look at his symptoms -

"I'm not going to live the rest of my life unable to form close relationships or speak my mind, **** that. I didn't even smoke for more than half a year and **** me I can't even talk to my friends anymore. I don't know how to reply to all their conversation starters, and just can't get close to people. I mean to say something, but it comes out in jumbled sentences and long pauses."

The kid's social part of his brain has clearly been negatively affected from his use of cannabis. He isn't the only YOUNG person to complain of these symptoms. Yes, there are many similar threads on this forum that date back years. NONE of them ever said they recovered, and ALL of them consist of young males who smoked excessively while their brains were developing. This isn't simply 'anxiety' or 'learned helplessness', this is STRUCTURAL AND FUNCTIONAL ALTERATIONS TO HIS BRAIN. if YOU haven't suffered any brain damage from smoking cannabis, than good for you, but there is no need to put a young kid down who is a bit lost and doesn't know what to do. All he wants is some real answers as to why he isn't back to 'normal'.

He quit for 3 months yet he doesn't feel normal. Most people feel normal within 1 week of abstinence, yet it has been 3 long months for him, and he still doesn't feel even remotely close to normal.

Look at these threads. Look at the similarities. Clearly weed is detrimental to a developing brain.

viewtopic.php?t=94571

viewtopic.php?t=95773

viewtopic.php?t=95028

Do all of these people have learned helplessness ? I very much doubt it Mr psychologist.

Thanks for understanding man, really thanks. Reading that kind of scared the sh** out of me because it wasnt just me that observed that, but it's the truth and there's no ignoring it. If things stay like this I'm going to die a lonely soul, and I desperately want to be alright again because my life had potential once upon a time. I've read people recovering but it took them years, so hopefully that can be me. How about you, do you have a story like mine? Do you think I'll recover or should I start learning to accept that I'll never be the same again?
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#35

Postby LondonScouse » Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:28 pm

Its good it scared you. We only get 1 brain, and maybe this is a way of our body teaching us that.

I don't think things will stay the same for you, in 2 years you could easily be happy in your life and like 80-90% back to normal. Depends how you approach recovery.

You have 1 good thing in your favour. You're 15, and therefore the process of synaptic pruning hasn't finished for you yet. This is a very important process and i think if you're sober till your like 21+, than your brain will be basically normal.

Its definitely possible to recover to a point in which you're happy and satisfied with life.

"Do you think I'll recover or should I start learning to accept that I'll never be the same again?"


You will recover but you also need to accept the situation.
Last edited by LondonScouse on Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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#36

Postby LondonScouse » Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:34 pm

I haven't got much time at this moment, but here are some things that can help with connecting to others/increase empathy

1) Read SCIENCE-FICTION !

2) Watch horror movies

3) Apparently complex math problems stimulate social parts of the brain

I'm not even joking, but check it out for yourself. Also you should attempt to socialise a lot in real life as well, it may not go well for 2 or 3 more months, but im sure things will click together for you soon, and then one day you will be back on the same wavelength as everyone else.
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