Clueless. Help.

Postby Naive_wife » Sun Oct 01, 2017 9:34 am

I really appreciate you taking your time in reading my post.

I don't know how a forum works. I have never been to a psychologist before. But im desperate to share my thoughts so that i get a better hold of myself.

I am 23 year married woman.have a degree in psychology. :| Married for 2 yrs with my boyfriend with whom i was in a relationship for 3 yrs.

I have very low self-esteem. And knowing that it is low i feel depressed as i used to be a person who was very happy and confident of myself. I dont knw how it has happened.

I never knw wat is happening around me. Hence i always end up being the dumbest amongst a group of people. Even though i try to keep myself up to date.
I never know how to behave in different relationships. I dont knw how to take care of a house. I dnt knw.......i basically knw nothing. At the same time people of same age around me behave or speak like they have known it or have been doing those things since ages. I start doubting as to where was i when all of this was being taught. I am an introvert. I am socially very awkward. I just dont feel like waking up in the morning because i dnt knw anything hence all i contribute in a day is either "nothing" or interference because of lack of knowledge of absolutely anything under d sky. I literally pray to god to just make me die. I feel irritated when i hear someone else dying when i eagerly wish to die.

My husband, my friends, my husband's friend and relatives, especially their newly wed wives are all......bright and capable and beautiful....just perfect. I feel sorry fr my husband for having married me as im nw a burden for him d rest of his life.

I wish to live a secludd life wer nobody is related to me or is dependent on me fr anything. I sometimes feel like god has sent me to this earth to show people what kind of a person you shud never be.

I being a psychology student have tried all possible methods but nothing seems to be working confidence is just dropping lower each day. I feel much mor depressed as in spite of trying to make myself healthier i end up more depressed.

Each time i go out and socialize...i come back home n cry... Meeting people makes me realise hw dumb and incapable i am...

I have friends but i dnt want anybody to feel dat wat kind of a psychology student am i who doesn't knw hw to take care of herself.

I wish to feel free, feel happy with myself....
And i want somebody to guide me and show me wer i am going wrong...

Any help would be appreciated.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Oct 01, 2017 3:23 pm

Naive_wife wrote:I wish to feel free, feel happy with myself....

Then stop comparing yourself to other people.

You are not happy with yourself, because somewhere in life you were taught what is important is to compare whatever you do or whatever you have to other people.

Set goals that are based on improving your personal performance, not your performance as measured against someone else or your belief of what someone else is capable of.
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Postby Mmchippy » Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:29 pm

I'm a psychologist, but will be writing based on my personal experience as well. First of all, I want to say that it is natural for us humans to compare ourselves with others. It is very important that you acknowledge your feelings and normalise "It's okay to feel this way." Also, I would suggest you not to make a black and white statement such as "I am the dumbest" but challenge these thoughts. How true is it, and what is the evidence? I've also tried a few cognitive behaviour therapy techniques on myself previously. For example, I would write about one small thing I appreciated about on the day. This helped me pay attention to the positives. It's so easy to get carried away when we start thinking about negative thoughts. Reminding you of just one small positive thing a day can make a difference. Hope this comment helps.
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