why am i so emotionless?

Postby undia » Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:17 pm

i have never been a 'feelings person' and I rarely feel or show strong emotion. I am a teenaged girl so I expected to get a bit teary or whatever. I feel like a lot of the time I only respond to things because I know I am supposed to. like crying a funeral or showing remorse if I did something wrong. But it is strange because I have a natural ability to sense peoples emotions and I have been told I give good advice and I really seem to understand other peoples feelings unless I am personally involved in the situation.

For example today my friend was really upset because she found out I said something behind her back but as hard as I tried I couldn't emphasise with her and i couldn't see why it was such an issue for her. Of course i understand that she was upset and i tried to deal with the situation appropriately. I felt worse about the fact that i couldn't respond correctly then the actual situation.

It seems to be happening more and more. I don't find things fun anymore and I sometimes find people annoying when they aren't even doing anything. It affects my love life as well as i cant feel love. I've tried to pretend before but t never really stuck. i always have the same thought that it wont last and so there is no point.

I thought about it a lot and i guess it may be from emotional abuse from an ex friend or a dysfunctional family and that i subconsciously built my walls high. Even at my grandfathers funeral i only cried because i knew i was supposed to be sad. even though we were really close it never really bothered me.

I recently started to notice it bit more especially as i have been called 'emotionally constipated' a few times and a friend of mine today said 'you're good at other peoples feelings as you don't have any'
Junior Member
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:17 pm
Likes Received: 0


Postby JuliusFawcett » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:12 pm

It's ok to be comfortable with who you are, there is nothing more honest than our feelings, if you are calm, that can be an asset
User avatar
Super Member
Posts: 10112
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 4:04 pm
Location: Chesham, Bucks. England
Likes Received: 551


Postby Translucent » Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:17 am

It seems to me that you care a lot, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You've been through a lot with the abuse, and building walls is a natural way to deal with that. What can I say? I can relate.

What I did was direct my attention away from "friends", and focused my energy on art, which I am a fledgeling in at the present. But it gives me hope. If you can just find your passion and have faith that you can grow, learn and prosper in your passion, then other people become a much smaller priority.
Full Member
Posts: 161
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2016 1:20 am
Likes Received: 13


Postby laureat » Sat Oct 14, 2017 12:23 am

You dont need to be emotional to identify oneself as a good person

You are intellectual person
You are not braking the law
You know what your doing
You are no threat to others,
you are a good person
Senior Member
Posts: 1424
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:45 pm
Location: Kosovo
Likes Received: 109

Return to Psychology