Just wanna talk to somebody

#435

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:42 pm

Sorry for endless posts but I want to talk today with someone hence the name of the thread the problem is it seem you aren't in the mood
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45


#436

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:45 pm

desperate788 wrote:Maybe the problem lies at my perception of relationships and women.


Yes. Women suffer from shyness, too.

It's a struggle that can never be overcome.


If you say so.

I reckon shyness can be overcome. Perhaps you're not desperate enough.

About 20 years ago I was living in a foreign country where I didn't know anyone. I went to pubs a lot, but all I met there were drunks (like myself). I joined a writing group but the members got together only once a month, and that wasn't enough for me. I was (and still am) very shy. But I was desperate, too.

I don't know why I chose to take up public speaking. I was absolutely terrified. Me, get up on a stage and talk to people like I was some kind of expert? But like I said, I didn't know anyone. I had nothing to lose in terms of relationships.

Funny thing was, I went along to that first date feeling like I was heading for my death, and an hour later I left the place feeling like I was flying. They applauded me! They liked what I said!

And it never changed. Go there terrified, come away feeling great.

Go there terrified, come away feeling great.

Now I know no matter how many times I find myself on stage, I'm always going to be terrified. That's just how I am. Some people are extraverts and feel great with the world looking at them. Others are always going to be introverts. You'd be surprised how many actors say the same thing: that they never get over the terror, but they're addicted to the high they feel afterwards.

To do something so Not-You, you have to act. You have to pretend. You're playing the role of a confident man who's irresistible to women. Yes, you'll be terrified -- but they won't know that. You just go out and do it.

Just a thought.
User avatar
Candid
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 7834
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:00 am
Location: Reading, England
Likes Received: 299

#437

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:52 pm

I'm just stuck in shyness. I suffered from that in my younger years very much. You say shyness can be cured but some people are meant to be introverts that's confusing.
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45

#438

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:05 pm

Whatever I have uf..its so soothing.
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45

#439

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:10 pm

Taking a shower tonight and going to work tomorrow seems like death to me.
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45

#440

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:17 pm

desperate788 wrote:I'm just stuck in shyness.


Once again, if you say so.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Never underestimate the power of your word. If you say a thing, and mean it -- especially about yourself -- it will be true. It has to be.

So I can tell you
You can overcome this
until I'm blue in the face, but if you keep saying
No, I can't
that will be your truth.

You say shyness can be cured but some people are meant to be introverts that's confusing.


No, I don't think shyness can be cured. It's part of Who You Are, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. Crippling shyness is bad, though. Very bad.

I haven't stopped being shy. Nothing changed on the inside. If you told me I had to talk to a packed auditorium next week I'd be scared from now until it was over. But that doesn't mean I couldn't or wouldn't do it. It means I would be scared, that's all.
User avatar
Candid
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 7834
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:00 am
Location: Reading, England
Likes Received: 299

#441

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:18 pm

desperate788 wrote:Taking a shower tonight and going to work tomorrow seems like death to me.


Hahaha.

Not going to work tomorrow feels like death to me. I could go in, but my husband wants me to do something else... so I will.
User avatar
Candid
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 7834
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:00 am
Location: Reading, England
Likes Received: 299

#442

Postby Candid » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:21 pm

On the subject of your word becoming truth, you've already demonstrated this over and over. You say you're hopeless, and depressed, and you hate your job, and you want a girlfriend but you're too shy to talk to one, and all those things remain true for you.

So I really want you to try saying different things. I've already made three affirmations today... how about you?

Now it's time for me to eat something. 'See' you tomorrow. xx
User avatar
Candid
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 7834
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:00 am
Location: Reading, England
Likes Received: 299

#443

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:22 pm

How to manage crippling shyness? Is it curable? The more I make it a matter a bigger obstacle it becomes better to forget it
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45

#444

Postby desperate788 » Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:23 pm

Candid wrote:On the subject of your word becoming truth, you've already demonstrated this over and over. You say you're hopeless, and depressed, and you hate your job, and you want a girlfriend but you're too shy to talk to one, and all those things remain true for you.

So I really want you to try saying different things. I've already made three affirmations today... how about you?

Now it's time for me to eat something. 'See' you tomorrow. xx

Was nice talking to you..see you.
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45

#445

Postby desperate788 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:51 pm

What's up people?
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 39337
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 45


Previous

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Light Lounge