Self-Harm Addiction, Please Help

Postby netx » Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:35 pm

I'm a high school sophomore, 10th grade. I have a few close friends and a boyfriend who I can see being with for the rest of my life. My home life is iffy, but other people have it worse. I'm a good student and get good grades, I'm taking a course on programming and other computer technologies which I am talented with and even joined my school's Robotics Club as a programmer.

In general, everything has been going pretty well for me.

So, why have I recently wanted to cut myself again?

This December, I'll be clean for two whole years. I haven't self-harmed since December of 2015. But I have such a strong urge to slice up my thighs again. And my wrists.

I've been drawing on myself instead, which helps a bit, but I just don't understand.

Why is the urge coming back now? I can't figure it out.
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#1

Postby laureat » Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:32 am

When was the very first time you self-harmed and where did the idea come from: was there someone else doing something like that , because its not natural to do something like that

And what do you think its bringing you? If its more attention or whatsoever?
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#2

Postby netx » Mon Oct 30, 2017 3:10 am

The first time I self-harmed was around the beginning of 2015, when I was in seventh grade. Two of my (former) best friends did it, that's how I found out what it was and made the dumb mistake of trying it.

I'm autistic, and have had depression and anxiety all my life, so that was something that helped me cope, albeit unhealthy.

I went to a mental hospital for a week in December 2015 and haven't self-harmed since.

And it isn't attention that is satisfying about self-harm. I keep it secret from everyone around me when I do it.

There are a lot of theories as to why it's addicting.

1) The pain of the cuts causes dopamine centers in your brain to release more dopamine in order to keep you distracted from the pain, making you feel happy.

2) Being able to physically hurt yourself gives you a feeling of control that you don't have when things hurt you mentally.

3) Hurting yourself when you think you deserve it feels like a proper "punishment."

For me, I think it's a mix of all three. I get very upset over silly things like not remembering something small or insignificant, and that lowers my self-esteem, so I feel like I deserve it.

But I haven't had urges to do it this strongly since I was in the hospital, and I don't understand that.
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#3

Postby laureat » Mon Oct 30, 2017 1:43 pm

There is a chain of believes that lead you do what you doing

You believe there is something wrong about you ( autism, depression, anxiety ) and you believe That self harming ( dopamine, punishment ) helps you become happy

Well If that was all true: self harming starts to make sense, i would even consider that for myself i mean why not? If it makes me happy ? But the question is; if thats really true ? And another question is are there better ways? If yes than why would i harm myself when there are better ways
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#4

Postby netx » Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:43 am

It's just addicting. I crave the feel of a blade on my skin like an addict craves a drug.
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#5

Postby laureat » Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:46 am

Self harm addiction : this is part of the chain i was talking about

You believe there is something wrong about you ( autism, depression, anxiety ) and you believe that self harming ( dopamine, punishment ) brings you happiness and you also believe there is some kind of mystery that makes it addictive

Addiction is created by rewards not by punishment:

Ppl become addicted to something like facebook because of the reward ( attention, likes, )

Ppl would not be addicted if there was punishment ( dislikes, insults ) and that is the reason why you dont see the dislike button everywhere its because they want to be more and more addictive: no punishment at all just rewards, just the like button

Self harming - punishment cannot be addictive
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#6

Postby netx » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:35 am

There is no reward for self-harming. I hate the attention I get when I'm found out and there's nothing good about it.

But it still is addictive. Like I said, it's the feeling of the blade cutting my skin that I crave. Not any consequences that stem from doing it.
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#7

Postby laureat » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:44 am

It cannot be addictive

How can it be addictive?

Well It can be addictive if you delude oneself to believe something special is going on: otherwise there is no logic or scientific explanation how can it be addictive

When you believe somethig special is going on: believes can also = feelings
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#8

Postby quietvoice » Tue Oct 31, 2017 4:32 am

laureat wrote:It cannot be addictive

laureat,
There are different senses or meanings to the term addicted, depending on context. See Merriam-Webster definition entry here. Meaning "b" is "strongly inclined or compelled to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly." A synonym for addictive is "habit-forming."
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#9

Postby laureat » Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:41 pm

quietvoice wrote:
laureat wrote:It cannot be addictive

laureat,
There are different senses or meanings to the term addicted, depending on context. See Merriam-Webster definition entry here. Meaning "b" is "strongly inclined or compelled to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly." A synonym for addictive is "habit-forming."


B says for example: chocolate

How can someone become addicted on self-harming? Whats the reward about it? Well it can possible be attention

But another reasoning is: Believes = feelings

when one believes to do something special: believes = feelings so that can possible make you feel good and can possible become addictive

religions are addictive because of belief: one thinks he is doing something special so he repeat following religion

But self harming and religions are not addictive on its own: because they never reward you but only punish you it is only the belief that drives you towards such things
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#10

Postby quietvoice » Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:40 pm

The key concept being HABIT FORMING. Can you imagine that just about anything can form a habit, and then be so ingrained a habit as to be thought of as an addiction?
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#11

Postby laureat » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:01 am

I understand what you mean but my questions:

When was the very first time he did it?
Did he see someone else doing it? How did he learn it?
What does it bring this to him ? Is it attention?
Why does he like pain? Nobody likes pain
Does he think this is cool? Why does he do that?
Who told him to have autism, depression, anxiety,
Who taught him to identify himself with the negatives
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