Do I need to get help by a professional?

Postby sophiex123 » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:52 pm

Hi there,
I'm Sophie and I'm 21 years old.
I'm trying to find out if I need to get help by a professional.
Since I was little, I've never really been able to communicate properly with other people, my mom always told me that I can't do anything 'in a normal way'. I was always very good at school and I'm attending med school right now.
Since I've moved to a new country to attend med school, I haven't been able to really find 'friends' here. It's like I know a lot of people but I'm feeling left out everywhere. Also, there's a big community of people from my origin country here, but they also really don't want me to be a part of their group (I got in trouble with the boys at age 18, and I must admit that it is mainly my fault that they don't accept me, although nothing really 'bad' had happened).

My issue is the following:
At the age of 12 I started to listen to music with my headphones on, looking in the mirror and thinking of myself as being somebody else. I started to walk around in front of the mirror, imagining I could be a part of all the 'cool groups' at school and how people would want to be me etc.
The thing is, that this mirror-thing started to get like a sort of addiction. I'm feeling so ashamed to write this down as a 21 year-old grown-up girl. I'm still doing it, and it can last to 2-3 hours a day. I'm just being somebody else and it feels so real.
Like sometimes I'm even talking to myself while doing it. I'm not at home to see my parents very often, and when I am, I sometimes prefer to stand in front of the mirror to spending time with them. When I can't find my headphones I just start getting so mad.
I am feeling so ridiculous writing this down, and I feel like it's something people will just laugh about, that's why I never told anyone. I don't even know what I would call my behaviour, am I just being crazy? It just makes me feel better until I realise that I am never going to be that person I'm dreaming about.
I don't know if someone else is experiencing something similar, I would be really thankful for any help.
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Postby Infinite » Fri Oct 27, 2017 11:42 pm

It does not matter what is it you are doing but if you find this is troublesome, addicted, taking time away from doing other real things, is making you anxious, then you need to see a therapist to explore.
It looks like you are stuck on some developmental level and you are avoiding things.

wishing you well.
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Postby laureat » Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:47 am

Is there something wrong about living a fantasy world?
The problem about is because reduces the value of the reality

If someone would fantasy driving expensive car " ferrari " And 5 minutes later you getting back to reality and driving a used old car, You be like wtf? F reality lets just fantasy

First we have to respect who you are, second you may want to look what we can do about becoming

The fantasy world is like drugs: it makes you happy for the moment but when you get back to reality it makes you feel worse about it
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:53 am

Plenty of people waste 2-3 hours a day watching television each day. This doesn't necessarily negatively impact other areas of their life.

In your case, the 2-3 hours might be sidetracking you from actual goals and time spent pursuing those goals. But, it depends on what you are doing with the rest of your day. At 21, are you a student, do you a job, a career? What are your goals and what are you doing to manage them?

As for needing to see a therapist, how about starting by first just reducing the amount of time you spend in front of a mirror each day? There are plenty of habit tracking apps. Set a goal, and start to reduce the amount of time.
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Postby shadypro » Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:10 pm

sophiex123 wrote:Hi...

Hi Sophie,
Firstly you are not crazy and you should not be ashamed of yourself. You are just a normal person with a problem. Your problem comes mainly from low self-assessment/low self-esteem (strengthened by your mother and then even more from microtraums over time) That's also the reason why you feel leftout. The mirror thing was probably caused by some trauma as a kid and then by not correctly overcoming it the problem deepen and turned into a habit. The root of the problem can easily be figured out by a professional psychoanalytic but you can try to help yourself alone by reducing the time spent in front of the mirror each time (small but steady progress) and also spending more time on other activities you like or trying new things which you thing you might enjoy for ex. drawing, cooking, reading (going to a library might help you meet new people but if you don't feel like it don't push yourself) or doing some sport (swimming? or some regular exercises at home or at the gym - this will definitely help you feel better)

And remember be strong and positive and one day you are going to be even better than the image you are creating of yourself in the mirror! :)

PS: If you need any further assistance or advice feel free to ask for help. They are always people who are willing to help.
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