I bring people down

Postby John_smith » Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:58 pm

I'm going to be 100% honest here and I'm rarely 100% honest so that new. I like to bring people down to make them hate themselves. I don't know why I don't lack self confidence I know I don't I just hate the thought of people I dislike liking themselves. The issue with that is I hate most people. I hate friends family strangers and I always have. I will often pretend to like people I guess it's because I don't want to have to deal with being close to people that judge me on the fact that I hate them. There are those that I enjoy the company of but those are never close friends and are more often then not people that I will see once or twice or people that help me. I will make an impression on someone by a rumour or a mistake and that won't change even if I discover the full truth.

I often find myself angry at people I see on the street because they irritate me or follow the crowd. As I said before I hate my closest friends and will often bring them down but will also find myself angry at them for doing something I disagree with like not believing in themselves. It's strange I want them to hate themselves but not in the areas I approve of. I was not sociable as a child and instead took my time watching others and I didn't care I would sit alone and reflect any attempts of socialisation by others. My parents even made a book for me and they would write down who I played with at lunch which I would often lie about

one day about two years before the end of primary school I decided to befriend a group of people no fear or regret. I just stood up walked over to them and started talking. We became friends and when school ended I moved on and I made new friends. I think I was lonely as a kid but I can't remember maybe I was lonely and didn't realise. To best describe how I feel now, it feels like I'm floating alone in the darkness and I can never find anyone and I'm reaching out to a string but I pull it and there is no one on the other end. I know confusing. So yes I'm a terrible person but why am I like this and what exactly is this? Does anyone know?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:57 pm

John_smith wrote:...I don't lack self confidence

So yes I'm a terrible person but why am I like this and what exactly is this? Does anyone know?


Of course you lack self confidence. We all lack self confidence, it is just a matter of degree and in what area. A person might be extremely self confident as a race car driver, but be extremely lacking in self confidence when required to give a public speech.

You have great self confidence with your ability to be a “terrible person” but are severely lacking in self confidence in other areas, what might those areas be? For one, it seems like you lack self confidence in your ability to make and develop relationships effectively. What other areas do you lack in confidence?
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#2

Postby John_smith » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:54 pm

But that's the strange thing I actually don't have any self confidence issues anywhere like Say I was to meet someone with a maths degree I would know logically that they are better at maths then me but still a part of me will believe I am better at maths then them the logical part of me understands what other parts of me doesn't.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:47 pm

John_smith wrote:But that's the strange thing I actually don't have any self confidence issues anywhere


Say I was to meet someone with a maths degree I would know logically that they are better at maths then me but still a part of me will believe I am better at maths then them the logical part of me understands what other parts of me doesn't.


Read the above two statements that you wrote again and again. They are very clear evidence of a problem with self confidence. Denial that another person is better than you in math IS a lack of self confidence. Pretending, fantasizing, rationalizing that you are self confident in math when logically you are not IS lacking in self confidence.

A confident person easily admits, “You are better at math than me.” That is the thought process and behavior of a person that is highly self confident. What you are doing, pretending to yourself to be something you are not IS NOT self confidence.

Maybe because you don’t really know what it means to be and feel self confident, it is difficult for you to grasp what it truly means to have self confidence. Pretending you are self confident is entirely different than actually having self confidence. The truly self confident person is confident enough to admit when they lack confidence.
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#4

Postby laureat » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:29 am

I believe Confident person may correct the others when are wrong

It happens in the animal world a dog corrects another dog not to do something ( growls and bites for correction )

But a person who try bring ppl down without a good reasoning : there is something about himself

Where is all that coming from? The Obsession to bring ppl down? Why?

These are the questions

When is the very first time you remember oneself doing it? How did you come with the idea of bringing someone down ?

You should be focused to find out what is driving you there

If you are trying to compensate for some missing ego points
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#5

Postby TheCloud » Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:10 am

John_smith wrote:To best describe how I feel now, it feels like I'm floating alone in the darkness and I can never find anyone and I'm reaching out to a string but I pull it and there is no one on the other end.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterphobic_attitude

There is such a thing as being counterphobic. What that means is that when you are afraid, your tendency is to confront or move toward that fear, rather than fleeing or moving away. It is not necessarily courageous, and can be just as problematic as being overly anxious. And it definitely does not mean that you are not afraid. Your fear is merely being masked by your counterphobic response. So outside you're fearlessly walking up to people, but inside you're still alone in the dark. Confronting your fears has not filled that void.

Is there any one person, or type of person, who you particularly despise? When we hate, I believe it is to our own detriment. That is to say, when we hate, it is to avoid becoming that which we hate, which is usually a particular trait or set of traits exhibited by a particular person or group of people. Someone might dedicate their life to being as unlike the hated figure as possible.

However, contained within the people we hate are traits which are necessary to our function as complete human beings, and without those traits we are less, lost in the dark. I think this is highly relevant to you. And it will be difficult for you to give up your hatred, as it is for everyone. Every hater has reason to believe that they are utterly justified. But giving it up is the only string that has anyone on the other end, the only string leading out of the darkness. I hope that is what you want, more than anything.
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