I'm a pedophile. How do i cure myself?

Postby Toyota86 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:51 pm

Hi everyone. Im currently 20 years old and I realised that I'm noticing kids around 7 to 12 y/o and having wierd sexual thoughts about them!!! It's driving me crazy and I'm getting so afraid of myself!! I'm not sure if this is the right category to post this as this problem has led me to depression too.

My best friend taught me about masturbation when I was 11 y/o and thus since then I've been masturbating to adult pornography. Then just suddenly about 2 years ago I realised I was getting sexually aroused by kids.

Its really affecting my life. I used to go to the swimming pool every weekend with my friends but I have excused myself since this problem started. I realised what a danger I was when i saw a 10 y/o looking girl and got sexually aroused. I pretended to be sick that day and went home. Never went to any swmming pools since then as I'm so afraid of what the monster in me will do.

Another time was when my collegue's 8 y/o son asked me to follow him to the toilet because he was afraid of ghosts. We knew each other well as my collegue always brings him to work. I was in the cubicle with him and while he was doing his business, the monster in me wanted to touch him inappropriately. I left him in the cubicle immediately. I was so afraid of how badly I could have affected him if I had allowed the monster to do what it wanted to do.

So far, i have not done anything to any kids and have controlled myself not to view and Child Pornography but I'm really afraid one day this monster in me will take over. I believe very strongly against sexual crimes against kids so I have no idea why i have this problem. I have never been sexually abused as a kid.


My dream since young was always to marry the woman of my dreams and have kids and be the best dad in the world to them. But now with this problem, I don't think I be fathering any kids as I'm afraid of the monster in me. As of now, my dream is dead.

This monster has caused me to hate and detest myself to the ultimate core and i feel guilty as hell whenever sexual thoughts are born when i see kids. My social circle have shrunk because I dont go out as often anymore as I'm afraid of the monster. I cant share this with any of my friends or family due to shame too. I've even thought about killing myself a few times because right now my dream is dead which led me to losing motivation for life. I feel like I'm a huge huge danger to any kids near me.

I REALLY WANT TO KILL THIS MONSTER IN ME. I'm too ashamed to go to any counsellors. Anyone can help me out here? :((((
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#1

Postby Translucent » Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:51 pm

There are women out there who exhibit child-like qualities, you could try to find one of those. But I'm proud of you for not acting on these urges, because that would utterly ruin you.
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#2

Postby laureat » Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:26 am

1. What do you focus on most of the times? this is something you should think about

2. What makes you believe that kids are sexually attractive? neither their mind or the body are ready for sex and so there is no attraction behind it

3. are brain is the way it is and sometimes produces strange thoughts: we need to understand why not to guilt or fear ourselves why did something appear
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#3

Postby Introspectah » Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:27 pm

Greetings, Toyota86

I feel like i can be of help to you with regards to this gut-wrenching ordeal of yours.

Hit me up if you read this.
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#4

Postby mute » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:26 am

just because you have thoughts about it doesnt mean you have to act out on them.
the reality is you simply have no idea how dirty people's thoughts are. people you wouldnt assume to have those thoughts.
its ridiculous to label yourself because of your thoughts.
let me list some thoughts that people have that are NOT followed by any action:
imagining killing other people- doesnt make you a serial killer
same as imagining you live on mars doesnt really make you a martian
imagining you are jesus or napoleon doesnt make you one either
you need to realize that your imagination is NOT reality until you act uppon it.
the urges you are feeling are most likely due to you assuming a role of a pedophile where having thoughts about it makes you see yourself as a pedophile and next logical step is physical urges since you know thats what pedophiles do
so you wind yourself up with those thoughts constantly. and more you do it harder it gets to resist bcause now you dont trust yourself..
relax and accept them simply as thoughts without actions.
think about as many crazy and dirty things as you can calmly and you will realize that though doesnt have to be followed by action

when first time i thought about killing myself i also thought why would i kill myself over something...nothins in life is as bad as death... that means end for you. so i imagined killing myself many different ways.
in as many details as i can. my favorite was jumping off a building and laying there as only consciousness. observing the world without me in it.. after few of those i felt no need or urge to kill myself anymore..

in many instances thinking about forbidden things is not a sign of a disorder its simply out of human curiocity
since its forbidden its attractive since its something that most people cant do. and scientific minds crave forbidden things.
maybe you should find a science field that will satisfy your curiocity. and i guarantee you will forget about thinking crazy things like kids etc.
and also find a girl that satisfies your cravings
also maybe try to trace your own history to where those cravings might have come from
abuse, need for attention from someone a traumatic experience in the past . once you find the origin point it will become easier to deal with it . knowing where the cause of these urges.

>>>let your thoughts pass through you <<<

you pretty much purposely overinflated the problem. to lead yourself to self destruction
now imagine if you didnt hype this up so much and just accepted it . how much better would your life be.
try meditation . meditation is great for things like that.
you re like 20 years old bro. 20 year old chicks are not old you can find one that looks very young lol if that works for you
some dudes like manly chicks some like chicks in leather outfits with whips and chains..

what you do in the bedroom is private business... so . get a girl and act cool.
you have to maintain image in order to succeed in life . a negative image will not help you

i gave you a few options here. try and see which works
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#5

Postby Arsen01 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:07 pm

Pedophilia or paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.
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#6

Postby dark cloud » Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:09 pm

The only cure is to accept it , if you oppress this feeling then it become worse.
My god come to your senses you are not monster , dont be so hard to yourself , you dont deserve it , you deserve love even if you have sexual feelings for children , you are still a person not a monster or a bad person.
Monsters are people who hurt other people and the fact that you are pedophile does not mean that you will hurt a child.
Pedophilia means that someone can fall in love and have sexual feelings for children like straight men have for women or straight women have for men.
Pedophilia does not mean rape of children.
Please remember this ''pedophilia does not mean rape of children''.
And you can be a father if you want.
When someone is pedophlie does not mean that his or her sex drive is higher.
If you were straight would you afraid that maybe you rape a woman ? i dont think so , so why you afraid now for children ?
You are a person not a monster and trust me you are better than anyone hypocrite who hate pedophliles but when he/she see a man rape a woman he/she doe not care.
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