Mental problem

#15

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:25 pm

Are you paranoid about people around you and stuff ? Like not thinking they are gonna hurt you but like being overly aware of their presence ? i personally cannot watch a movie with someone so much my brain will be obssessed by the person next to me, which ends up with the person next to me feeling uncomfortable so more uncomfortableness for me as well
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#16

Postby LondonScouse » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:31 pm

Im only paranoid if they are facing my way.
But yeh the symptom is called hyper awareness I think
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#17

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:40 pm

idk, i want to seek help but i dont want to take pills seriously because besides the personality and paranoia, i actually have all my mind - which means my pure intelligence did not change, only my emotional intelligence. I am stuck not to ever create relationships with people because of the lack of connection but besides that my rational intelligence did not alter at all with weed - only the emotional intelligence.
Last edited by yayada65 on Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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#18

Postby LondonScouse » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:44 pm

I wouldn't say mine has got worse

It was much worse when I was high and better when I am sober

It goes down a bit when I am with friends.

I also don't know if medication mbis an answer but I do know that it is important to try stuff to solve a problem

Do you exercise? I remember when I used to jog it would go down temporarily.

I also remember when drinking green tea twice it went down due to L-theanine I believe
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#19

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:52 pm

yes i exercice, go to the gym and play basketball all during these 3 years of process, i do have friends too but i never enjoy much spending time with them because of the paranoia and personality loss. and our relationships arent what they used to be before i smoked.
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#20

Postby LondonScouse » Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:57 pm

Yeah my emotional intelligence was significantly affected in a negative manner compared to my academic intelligence...

Even while I was smoking weed I still scored high on exams and got top marks at university then did a masters degree and got good marks again. Now I work a demanding and stressful job in London, and I am able to cope. Although even my academic intelligence took a hit from smoking weed everyday for years. I used to be able to remember and understand things easily, but now it's harder.

I don't care about my academic intelligence though, I just want to be able to feel and derive pleasure from social interactions etc...

Luckily for me i was born with good emotional intelligence and had good social intelligence until I started smoking weed at 17. I use memories of my old emotional intelligence to survive everyday social interaction.
Still though... It would be nice to have a connection with family or friends... I crave it everyday.

I honestly think its down to a lack of emotion. If we can get our emotional capacity to increase, we can form bonds with other people. I know that reading fiction books is a good way to increase empathy, and you know what they say in Neuroscience? Neurons that fire together, wire together, and if you don't use it, you lose it
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#21

Postby LondonScouse » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:07 pm

I too have friends but I only enjoy maybe 10% of socialising. Sometimes I do genuinely laugh, but very rarely.

So for you, do you think it's got worse over the last 3 years?

Have you seen any increase in emotional capacity or expression or being spontaneous?

Any increase in social skills?

Any increase in pleasure in any respect?
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#22

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:11 pm

I started smoking at 16, and I always had a remarkable social intelligence, the more symbolic of that which was my sense of humor which was clearly remarkable. I knew before speaking that people would laugh - today i feel like there is a 4% chance that people will genuinely laugh from what i say. I agree with what you said - it really is 80% about the emotions, emotions make everything in a conversation. I am sure that sometimes what i say is actually cool, but the fact that I dont have the emotions while saying this makes it sounds uninterested for the other person. I tried to read a lot during those 3 years of process but it never helped. I too tried to reproduce my old self in relationships but it never is too much a of a success.
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#23

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:15 pm

Have you head about Derrick Rose? He' a basketball player who was MVP in 2011, he was the best player in the league, and he got injured and never got back to his former level. I really feel like this. I genuinely laugh sometimes too but i won't say my social skills increased - they did not change. the paranoia increased overtime however. but social skills remained constant. but when paranoia increases it makes your social skills declining - for example paranoia makes me avoid looking people in the eyes to a certain degree because i am paranoid about the fact that looking at people in the eyes makes me creepy, so the fact that i dont look at them in the eyes makes my social skills worse - but its due to the paranoia. thats a vicious circle
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#24

Postby yayada65 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:16 pm

true though, i feel like i enjoy 10% of socializing too. this gives me some hope that i could be happy about talking with someone sometimes - but it is so rarely occuring.
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#25

Postby uniqueason » Sun Aug 23, 2020 8:43 am

Yaya how you doing these day my friend im interested in your situation
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#26

Postby yayada65 » Mon Aug 24, 2020 10:05 am

I simply turned towards islam. Smoking weed was a period of excess in my life. After all the suffering and nothing was really changing in my life i realized maybe God punished me or something. So i started praying and turned towards the last religion sent by God to humanity, islam. Since i pray Cod has improved my life so much. He did not make me feel bettter in my mind but I am so much in a mood of acceptance of my situation right now that my life has improved so much. It's hard to explain. I spent a really cool year this year, moved to Switzerland where i was able for the first time in years to make friends, and i like my situation. When you ask Allah for help your situation improves on. Allah says in the quran that he improves on the condition of the believers. And God never fails to his promises. I spent 5 years not seeking the help of God and i struggled with no improvement, like magic after one year praying five times a day God put me in an environment that is perfect for living with my my situation. I made friends with whom i am able to really enjoy moments outside and got back on social media so it's a positive spiral. I even might get married soon. Read the quran in english my friend. You will find peace. I promise.
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#27

Postby LondonScouse » Thu Sep 10, 2020 6:51 pm

Mashallah :)

Happy for you if you have found peace.
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#28

Postby thegreatdane » Thu Sep 10, 2020 8:04 pm

LondonScouse wrote:Mashallah :)

Happy for you if you have found peace.



Hey man hows it going? I suffered the completely same symptoms as you. What year are you on and have you been completely clean? How are your symptoms?
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#29

Postby bawdyheated » Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:20 am

yayada65 wrote:Hi

I am 3 years clean and basically it's really tough. I am not who I used to be. I am anxious, lost sense of humor, paranoid, like always thinking about the person next to me if i sit in class next to someone, i dont have any emotions like im faking emotions most of the time, cannot trigger a laugh, so anxious in class that my neck starts to tremble for like 4 seconds sometime, I have very negative thoughts like I feel like I bother and disturb people because I stay quiet (because If I speak I say nothing really spontaenous and interesting like I used to do and it just frustrates me so I prefer stay quiet + what I say really is complete BS) Its like my emotional intelligence is at 0. I became a weird individual but I am totally conscious of how weird I am because inside of me there is the old me who knows that I am not the person I am today. In addition I keep swallowing my saliva when Im next to someone. During a conversation I cannot look at people in the eyes more than 5 seconds because if I do so I start thinking "hes gonna think youre creepy if u continue looking at him in the eyes" i have billions of other shitty thoughts like this in billions of other situations.. I think Im weird because I try to act like I used to be, this funny popular guy, but my brain just doesnt follow so its like weird for people and I can feel it and Im tired to force myself to be cool with my brain who doesnt follow at all. It gives a weird result. Seriously in high school i was becoming friend with ppl in like 1 hour. its been 3 years and I made 1 friend only. Like wtf. Im simply unable to connect, its like chemical. Even with members of my family I can no longer connect like my cousins like wtf. thats why i say its chemical. if it was psychological it wont happen with cousins. Also when Im in class I cannot move my head its like blocked. I can only move my eyes sometimes. when im sitted in class I dont move at all my body so much I am robotized with no spontaenity and I look and see people moving spontaenously around me. Me i just cant move and I force myself to move after 20 minutes not to appear too weird like the guy is dying or something. When I go to my hometown I dont leave my house because I was very popular and funny in high school and I dont want ppl to see how I have become 3 or 4 years after.

I smoked from 15.5 to 17.5 years old. I think for some brains like mine the damage of smoking at this young age is permanent. Times goes on and the more time goes the more Im thinking I just developed a mental problem due to weed. I used to have enormous confidence and sense of humor and social adaptability. I lost everything. Im 21 and I feel like a schyzophrenic but Im just not having the hallucinations. I stopped smoking because I became aware that smoking was changing my personality but when I stopped it was too late. I go in this forum since 3 years and I feel like I'm the only person who dont get any improvement.


What do you guys think ? I saw this guy taking pills but really Im gonna start taking pills at 21 ? In 20 years what will be the effect of those on me ?
thankkkks a lot for reading until the end i really appreciate and sorry if it demotivate some of you but thats just my reality


Very good and inspiring story to get lessons with.
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