I'm worse now than ever before- fyi, LONG story..

Postby emyaj » Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:14 am

So I do not have much direction, never knew what I wanted to do with my life. I graduated from college and just majored in something that I found interesting but knew I would never use the degree.

Soon after graduation, I worked for a company for nearly 3 years, I REALLY liked the people there, but the job was too stressful and I knew I didn't wanna work there long term. It was during this job that I lost someone that was very close to me and I was going through a breakdown. My boss at the time was totally unsympathetic during my situation and I couldn't take it, so I gave 2 weeks notice and quit.

I was applying to jobs left and right and that was depressing to know I was still unemployed. It took me 6 months to find my next job. (Yes, I should look at the bright side (which is hard for me to do), and think I was fortunate I was only unemployed for 6 months). This job turned out to be hell. I was extremely micromanaged, and it was depressing me. I stayed there for a year (when I gave notice, everyone that I had worked with had either quit or was fired). I never wanted to be micromanaged like that AGAIN!

My boyfriend said I should try Dental Assisting, the program takes about a year, pays okay and I could probably find a job right away. So I did that and I got hired right away and my salary was decent for being a newbie. I ended up hating this job too. I was the only assistant, it was hard for me to get a bathroom break in, my lunch schedule changed daily and I often got short lunches AND I was micromanaged. If I said something to the patient or did something that he didn't like, the boss would pull me out of the room (while the patient was still in the chair) and would lecture me. This happened a lot, and really embarrassed me. I realized that if I tried to defend myself the lecture would be longer, so then I would just say "okay" to whatever it was. The boss would text and call me when I was at home, it was hard for me to call out sick. If I did call out sick, the boss would text me throughout the day, telling me how stressed he was from all the work he had to do etc, asking if there's any possibility I could come in? When I tried to quit, the boss offered to give me a raise which I accepted. Sometime after, the boss told me that the times I chose to go to the bathroom is really inconvenient for him. Then I told myself, screw this, I did not care how much I made here, it was not worth it to me. I gave notice again and the boss begged me to stay an additional 6 months so he could find and I could help train his next assistant. I did not have any other job offers lined up, so I stayed the additional time. (All in all, I was there for almost 2 years).

In the past, I was excited for the prospect of getting a new job, but at this point, the idea of getting into another Dental Assisting job did not excite me at all. My sister said I'm too old to be changing careers, saying that I chose dental assisting so I better stay with that or go into hygiene. My bf sided with my sister but he told me to try out just one more dental assisting job just to be sure.

Within 2 weeks, I had my next dental assisting job. The office manager there said it takes about 3 months to learn the job. I thought to myself, good I can do that. But while I was working with the new dentist, I still had anxieties from my previous dental assisting job, I was afraid of being scolded again. The difference at this job is that there was a 2nd assistant so this dentist could bounce between 2 assistants. While I have 2 years experience in the field, the other assistant had 35 and the dentist was constantly comparing me to her. 1 month in the job, they gave me a warning that I better improve. I was confused because I thought I had 3 months to learn the job right,??? I worked my tail off here. The dentist told the team that I had improved and he's really happy with the team. But the comparing of me to the other assistant never stopped.

When a small dental instrument got lost, the dentist literally blamed me. I can't prove that I lost/did not lose that piece nor could I prove the other assistant did or did not lose it. The dentist and the office manager literally never stopped reminding me about that missing piece. When they finally bought a replacement piece, they were still hanging the old one over my head. When I returned back to work after being sick for 2 days, the dentist never asked me how i'm feeling. It became very clear that the dentist preferred the other assistant and did not like working with me. It did not help my self esteem going to work each day, knowing he felt this way about me, so everyday I was walking on eggshells, trying to concentrate, yet everything I did annoyed him. On top of this, my body was hurting everyday from dental assisting- my back, my neck, my feet. Then 7 months in, I finally got my review and they said they wanted to meet with me every week to see if i've improved...next week came, no meeting. The week after that came, and they told me they were terminating me, that I don't have the skill set for this particular job and that I did not fit their team.

So now, i'm unemployed. I tried to collect unemployment...the unemployment agency had to hear my version as well as my previous employer's version of why I was let go. After speaking to my former employer, the unemployment agency said that my former employer said i'm too slow. Hearing those words really angered me and now I'm having a complex as I'm currently searching for new jobs. I took a pre-employment test the other day and I failed, they wanted me to complete 40 questions in 7 minutes and I ran out of time. "I guess I was too slow." :(

As of a result of this experience, I am more sensitive than i've ever been before! A lady called me today from an administrative job that I applied to and she asked me a few questions. Again, i'm not good at talking to people, I stutter etc :( , We literally spoke for 6 minutes, the lady seemed like she really wanted to get off the phone like she had something she needed to attend to. After that phone call, I felt sensitive about it, like she didn't want to take the time to talk to me.. :(

I've been unemployed for 2 months now...only my bf knows and it's very hard for me to be positive, I feel down, unwanted etc. If I applied for dental I would get a job right away no doubt, but i don't want dental again--- I'm looking for jobs everyday, and applying, but I feel like crap and it's hard for me to "put myself out there". Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:46 am

It sounds like the job isn’t the issue. No matter what job you pursue, you are not happy with yourself, hence you eventually won’t like any job.

There is not a single job where you work for someone else that doesn’t come with criticism. 100% of employers must evaluate employees or they will soon be out of business. Certainly there are more positive ways to evaluate, but you can put lipstick on a pig all you want and people still know it’s a pig. Use all positive terms, that your performance is rainbows and lollipops, BUT...and people know what it means. Evaluations are critiques and you don’t like being critiqued. That will make it very difficult to find and maintain healthy employment.

My advice, be honest about your current skill set. Apply for jobs that match your skills. At the same time, work on your ability to receive criticism.
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Postby laureat » Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:16 am

Believes are the magic

If you believe your life is beautiful; it is how you will feel about it and that will also effect your performances and vise versa

Beware of believes it can lead to bad decisions in life: you have to give yourself more time to think about serious decisions such as quiting a career and try do other things : you cant be rushing
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Postby emyaj » Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:28 am

Thank you both so much for taking the time to read my situation and offering your insight.

The truth is, I came to this site to seek help on how I can find a new job in light of what transpired..but I am filled with so much emotion that I mostly talked about what happened as opposed to the feelings that i'm experiencing as a result of being let go. :(

I feel that because of my Dental Assisting experience, I am more sensitive and that it's harder for me to accept criticism, good eye for noticing that.
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Postby BarryPap » Sat Jul 06, 2019 7:46 am

No I havent Because i always try to follow safety instruction as much as possible while using ladders at my job site, as well as also organized training session for my workers.
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