IDK WHAT TO DO...

Postby thehapsadboy » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:00 am

This is legit the first time I've ever used a site like this in my life. Im stressed, i don't know what to do about anything right now in my life(well ovb i do but i feel like I'm always being stressed to make big decisions) . First off I'm 21 year old college dude from just outside of Boston. I come from a single mother house hold, ( my mother is a very physically abusive and verbally/mental abuser since a child even know its getting better now but holy ****, a lot of my stress comes from here..... Im in a relationship that I've been in for almost 2 years and ever since the 1 year anniversary it basically went to sh**.... she's a AMAZING girl, pretty, smart, loyal and even the family loves me..... but I want to leave( ive been told by the almost everyone how stupid I am) her and be single. People want me to stay but all we seem to do is fight and argue. The sex isn't as great because we've been fighting non-stop for a year now. I see all my friends up at college and even just single.... I miss the simple things about being single( even know trust me, i know it could get boring). IM 21 YEARS OLD!!!!!I don't want to look back when im 40 with a whole family and house/ career and say I missed out on meeting new people and simple having fun and not having to feel married every day. Please any opinions would be much appreciated. As f***ed up as it is( I I dont want to talk to much about this but I wanted you guys to see where im coming from and where im at in life emotionally) I was with another girl last week ( mind you, me and "my girlfriend" are on a break) and we had sex..... ive seen this girl 3 days this week already and let me tell you I am so happpppppppppppy :lol: lol we get along, the sex is on a whole nother level, we both smoke, we both just vibe and its great. SO should I officially officially end my relatioships(basically over but my girl is in love with me and Thats why I dont want to hurt her like that, if i keep her along it"ll hurt me too along with her........ another thing im stressed about is school... i want to trasnfer to a University to live on campus( live my life, im from the hood so my goal is to get out, i need ti transfer but my mother is a very evil person( trust me), Me wanting a co signer from here...... wouldnt happen. I want to live on campus instead of a community college, i want to make NEW friends, different friends, NEW GIRLS (WTF WTF WTF.. i want meet new people... bored and depressed are understatments.) I want to play sports on campus but thats the difference of me playing (for example if i stayed at a commuity college then transfer in 2 years my total debt woould be around 35k if I transfer to the school i want to know itl be around 60k in debt. Mind you though the small things I told you,thats why i feel so stuck. Im from the hood, i live with a loving, yet more abusive mother, im from the hood so trust me, i stay away but there are alot of bad people and opportunites. If i live on campus, i could have my own dorm, go where i want when i went, meet new people, network better with people at a University Vs. Community College, feeling independent, all my boys are also around (back home everyone is pregnant, in jail, or working 100 hours a week, I feel the biggest disconnect at home. Idk im so stuck. Again like I said idk how this website works but if anyone reads this, any feed back would be appricated. I as a young man know that I will make my own descsions but I dont really open up to alot of people. thank you guys, got to go back to work. :(
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:00 pm

First, yes you break off your relationship. That will reduce a lot of the stress.

Second, your mother might be a lot of things, but you seem to give her absolutely no credit for you being in college rather than in jail or etc.
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#2

Postby emyaj » Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:22 pm

I agree, you need to break up with your girlfriend. It won’t be easy to do and you will be stressed before, during and after breaking it off but it’s for the best.

Also, good for you for being in school in mist of the chaotic environment that surrounds you. You should take advantage of the resources you have available. Go see a counselor at your school to help with getting direction and guidance. Counseling is very expensive, but if you see one at school, lucky you, it wouldn’t cost you a dime.
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#3

Postby AddyMae » Sun Dec 17, 2017 10:15 pm

I guess I have a slightly different view then everyone else. Would you be willing to figure out why you two are fighting so much more recently?

Also, there is always a pretty girl that will turn your head. Even after you've been married for 12 years the prospect of something 'new' and 'exciting' is definitely appealing. (Trust me) So the question really comes down to: are you really ready to settle do? Do the two of you have the kind of relationship worth struggling through the rough times for?

If not, a clean break is best.
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