Paranoia is fascinating

[yayada65]

Hi guys. I am among the 1% users who really messed their brains up as I smoked between 15 and 17. I'm 21 now and mentally I feel sick. I made a post about that but here I would like to speak about a symptom extremely fascinating: Paranoia.

I will give you some examples of my daily paranoia / social anxiety to show you that paranoia, which is in my head ONLY, sometimes feel like it is actually REAL.

1) I was eating with a friend and was paranoid (i was thinking and obsessing about him non stop while eating / its a hard feeling to explain but basically im negatively obsessed about people and just start thinking non stop about their presence) and I could feel a very strong atmosphere of both of us not being comfortable. It was an intense feeling of not being comfortable. No one was speaking. I thought it was in my head but it felt so real. You know what ? His nose started to bleed all of a sudden.
When he came back I aksed him if he was ok and he said it never happened before in his life. Paranoia or reality ? like the uncomfortableness makes his nose bleed.

2) I'm very paranoid about people sitting next to me or in front of me. I start to feel obsessed about them. The persons I'm obsessed about always start to act like they're not confortable in terms of body language sitting next to me . The day after if these same persons sit next to someone else I dont see even 1% of agitation. So it this happening in my head or it this really happening ? Knowing that I dont do anything special while they're next to me I'm just trying to act normal even though its paranoia party in my head.

3) One day I was in the train there was a guy sitting 4 seats away from me. He was like 50 and looked like an intellectual. I'm 21. I should be a kid for him. I dont know why but I started being obssessed about him while I was reading. Even though I had paranoia about his presence, my eyes were on my book and my body language was normal I think. You know what ? The guy started to move like non stop like repositioning himself in his seat NON STOP for ONE HOUR and acting like nervous around me. When I left he stopped.

THIS HAPPENS ALL DAY EVERYDAY I COULD GIVE YOU 100000 OTHER EXAMPLES.

How can people who have sound and healthy brains and never smoked in their life can get so much agitation from a paranoid guy having paranoia thinking about them only in his head with no physical manifestations of his paranoia ?

Before I started to smoke I was feeling great in my own skin and I just dont remember getting nervous when I sitted next to anxious people or anything. It was like they were not even here. Like people could not influence my behavior.

The thing is people really act like they're uncomfortable around me. I just dont understand.

Thats why in my last post I said Im fed up to try to act cool when my brain does not follow and people dont follow either because as I said im trying to act cool but if your brain does not follow it just gives a weird result which in my own experience just makes people uncomfortable.

[LondonScouse]

Ive got this symptom as well. It's like my brain is hyperaware of people in my vicinity.

Its so awkward to be in close-range of a random person. Its like I dont know where to look and stuff

[yayada65]

exactly, like if i'm at à table of 6 people my brain can see the actions and gestures of the 6 persons at the same time because of the paranoïa and obsession

[LondonScouse]

Do you think since you quit that this symptom has got a little bit better or worse ?

Also, I noticed you said you only laugh on rare occasions. Same with me. I have noticed that I only am able to laugh when I see something embarrassing happening to another person.

[laureat]

it is also animals who fear:

But the animals also know how to relax, how to play, how to work for food, how to fight for food, and so

Problem with humans is we work too much and sometimes forget how to do simple things:

Humans work too much and may forget how to relax, how to be playful but always working, always worrying, always fighting psychologically

Nothing strange is about paranoia, you simply have forgotten how to do simple things

Nothing strange about making others uncomfortable: if you are uncomfortable the other may feel your negative energy and so you also make him uncomfortable

You dont need physical contact to make someone else uncomfortable

A redzone dog makes other dogs uncomfortable without even trying just by the presence

[tokes]

You need help. That is not a healthy mind frame to be in. You need to stop the obsessing.

You can either look at everyone as being suspicious or you can see them as being good people which the majority of people are.

I live in London so it's not easy to say "everyone is nice" I think that way and try to look at things in a positive way then it tells my brain everything is ok.

If I have a suspicious idea of the world around me then I will see everything in a suspicious way and the brain loves following the endless road of paranoia and suspicion.

I was raised on an estate in a tough environment and a single mother so I grew suspicious of everyone including my friends. Once I grew up, I realised this way of thinking will no longer help me and it was time to start trusting people again; but that starts with me. It's not that the people of London changed but I changed the way I looked at them.

Many religious people, spiritual people and even scientist understand that our mind can create the reality around us. If your brain is operating on a level of obsession and suspicion then even a 12 year old boy will look strange or "uncomfortable" as you said. But it's not easy to change your thinking pattern and you will need help.

Check Buddhism for mind control techniques.

The concept of transmental mutation.

CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy.

See a doctor or psychiatrist. If your offered medication then this should be used on a short term basis until you have the power to tell your brain "no, stop thinking like that. They are normal people. I am creating this fantasy of suspicion, stop"

This all I can help with brother from my experience. I had experienced deep troubling mental thoughts that effected my behaviour in public and the way I viewed life.

Hope you can sort this issue.

Peace