Talking to others and feeling creepy - social anxiety

Postby Ivan_J » Mon Jan 01, 2018 10:59 am

I have done public speaking and met a lot of people at work in the last two years, but my worst fear when talking to someone I don't know is that my social anxiety will make me appear creepy and it will be seen in my expression.

I also worry I will have nothing interesting to say so there will be no rapport. Does anyone know a way to deal with this fear and still approach people they want to start a conversation with?

Unfortunately I gave myself a lot of negative evidence in nightclubs and bars about five years back where I tried to meet and talk to women who were cold towards me to put it mildly, and sometimes rude. I am just trying to create positive evidence and to hide that profoundly negative view I have of myself when interacting with people.
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#1

Postby Livetowin » Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:02 pm

How we perceive ourselves plays a big role in how we define the responses of others. You need to spend more time taking stock in your own self-value and less time thinking someone else holds those answers. Only you hold the keys to your self-worth. Everyone has an opinion, but only you carry the truth in how you see in yourself and that's all that matters.
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#2

Postby bright » Thu Jan 04, 2018 4:55 pm

In this world it will always be difficult to please others. The key though is to always remain true to yourself and spend time treating others with kindness.

Always aim to put your best foot forward. That's all you can do.
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#3

Postby Ivan_J » Tue Jan 16, 2018 6:35 pm

Thanks guys for replying. I do try to put my best foot forward. My improvements are painfully slow.

I do not seem to have a supportive inner voice. There is some kind of void where that should be, and a tendency to rationalize in favor of those who would criticize me while at the same time frustrating my own progress. I guess there is unfortunately an element of self-hatred based on what other think of me.

I am trying to find a new therapist.
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#4

Postby J Derrington » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:34 pm

Your opinion of yourself becomes self fulfilling. If you think that you are creepy then that is what you will sub communicate to others. You are constantly telling others what you think of yourself with your body language, your posture, your vocal tonality. Fake it till you make it, you will start a feedback loop - you "fake" that you are confident, people treat you better, you feel a bit more confident, people continue to treat you better,...
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