Emotional blindness

Postby Jekyllz » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:44 pm

Hello there!

Thank you for reading or considering to read this. Just a small insight from a professional would mean a great deal to myself.
Alittle about myself.
Grew up with home education from yr 9-16 in remote countryside area by mother in NJ USA.
Had dramatic outburst within family when we moved back to the UK and after I went to college.
Whilst during and after college when I experienced a mass of emotional pressure and low self esteem that I would like to say is the main majority from my parents despite the energy I had at the time from suddenly being in a more sociable lifestyle.
I always wanted to be away from the family house directly due to the drama & dysfunction it entailed. I gained self esteem from being at college and would regularly breakdown on the weekends from my mother/father and start at square one with no self esteem, have a painful level of self-consciousness and confusion.
I resulted to punching walls, selfharming, listening to dramatic music, be influenced by troubled friends and drinking/smoking
My parents continued to question me and demand answers not just for what I did but the actual way I thought.
The last dramatic scene with me and my parents was when I returned from a party the next day. They questioned me on where I had been repeatedly although I had texted them their answer the night before and when I became upset and asked them to speak to me at a better time so I could think clearly, they continued to demand answers. Long story short, they continued to question me and I became so worked up I covered my ears. My mother informed me if I didn't take my hands off she would pour water on me. At which my dad then said he would video the situration so that my friends could see who I really was. My mother then poured three buckets of water on me. They left me then.
I am now 25 and it has been 5-6 years of rough living since this situration. I am stable and well now. But still mentally unable to speak to my parents constructively without being blinded by my emotions towards them.
I have uploaded my call to Google drive and genuinely want to hear your views on what occurred within it and what I can do to adapt
A more mature perspective.

drive.google. com/file/d/1k8lxfI2e6CoP0mpPJ1IaSeFndnq2ajjG/view?usp=drivesdk

Thank you very much, lots of love to everyone.
Jake
Jekyllz
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#1

Postby Jekyllz » Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:40 am

Actually I spoke to a good friend and am positive I have the answer that explains alot in my life.
The simple answer was that I continue to struggle with authority figures above me due to previously being abused from a family and never having been exposed to an open world or to understand the differences with being present to a professional workplace. This explains why I have been stubborn, confrontational, emotional whenever somone corrects me.
I will be looking into coping strategies with this for the future.

Thank you,
Jake
Jekyllz
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