attracted to sister

Postby JoeL543 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:00 pm

hi. I’m 15 years old and I have a 17 year old sister. A few weeks ago I was on a family trip and I started thinking about her sexually and I don’t remember why. I thought at the time that I would forget it eventually but now I’m home and it’s even worse. I can’t get it off my mind at all. I’m disgusted by my attraction and I want it to stop but I just can’t get it out of my head. I’ve tried using online therapy but they all make you pay eventually and I’m broke. I can’t tell my parents I want counseling or anything because I would have to fabricate a reason and they would be able to tell. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Someone respond please
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:07 pm

Do you have a girlfriend?
What about girls at school?

In other words, other than your sister, what other exposure to females do you have in your life?
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#2

Postby JoeL543 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:02 pm

I have a girlfriend but it’s hard to give her attention because I feel so guilty and gross about this.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:49 pm

JoeL543 wrote:I have a girlfriend but it’s hard to give her attention because I feel so guilty and gross about this.


You are all of 15. Your testosterone is through the roof.

The only issue here is your choice to overthink, overreact, and/or waste time focusing on what is a non-issue. It isn’t as if attraction to a sister is so utterly outrageous or inconceivable. Historically such things are well documented, and while considered taboo, it is by no means some issue that is beyond comprehension.

Don’t make a non-issue into a big issue. It is bull that you can’t give your gf or some other activity your attention. You are not some creature or robot, incapable of making the conscious choice to redirect your focus, to concentrate on other things in life. If you choose, you can set goals and engage in activities that redirect your thoughts. Or, you can choose to obsess over these thoughts, thereby creating a problem out of a non-problem.
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#4

Postby JoeL543 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:05 pm

thanks for the answer. What I meant is like if I’m with my girlfriend my mind will occasionally land on thinking about it and then I get guilty and it’s hard to redirect my thoughts like that
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#5

Postby bob7777777 » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:06 am

As I've said to another teenager on this forum, give yourself a break. People don't talk about passing feelings like this but they are extremely common and are part of growing up. Many people have much more extreme thoughts than a crush on their sister. The fact that you already feel 'gross' about it and guilty about your girlfriend means that it is likely to pass. Give it some time.

A commonly accepted truth in psychology is that the mind often deceives itself; what we think we are thinking about is often not really what we are thinking about deep down inside us. It could be that your thoughts for your sister are really just a representation of your feelings about women in general, and she happens to be the nearest one to you. It's perfectly natural and will almost certainly go away.

If you don't really like your girlfriend, then perhaps it would be best to see it as a waste of her time as well as yours, and respectfully move on. If do you really like your girlfriend, use all that energy in your mind that is thinking about all kinds of things and focus more of it on your girlfriend. I mean what is the greatest thing you have ever done for her? Think about it. If you do more things to make her happy, you might like the result. I reckon your mind will get more occupied by her that way.

If after time feelings for your sister are still an issue, and if you are at high school, they should have a psychologist or counselor who you are able to have private conversations with for free, and they will be legally obliged to keep everything you tell them a secret. The fact that you don't want to talk about it to your parents shows your maturity and responsibility - of course they might not respond very well to it. Parents are not perfect. You can say to them, and to your friends, that you want to see a psychologist to help you concentrate better (and everyone understands this will improve your school work). You don't have to tell anyone other than that psychologist the details of what is distracting you.

You can tell people you want better grades, which I guess is a fact, and that a psychologist helping you with better concentration will bring you better grades. Better grades are going to improve the rest of your life, your current relationships are relatively irrelevant to it.
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#6

Postby Kasper » Wed May 30, 2018 9:13 am

NEVER EVER EVER! TELL YOUR FRIENDS! psychologists dont help other than being an ear to tell, which has its rewards. I recommend porno. Try not to fantasies, you will do damage.
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#7

Postby DrPsychFeels » Wed May 30, 2018 7:02 pm

[quote="JoeL543"I can’t get it off my mind at all.[/quote]

Have you had obsessive thoughts before?

Like other posters here who are obsessed with incestuous feelings, perhaps your obsession is more about the symptom of the obsession itself and less about your sister.
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