Please help! About my wife!

Postby hellohello123456789 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:23 pm

Inability of giving resolution to small issues, and making a huge ( I mean huge) drama that drives to destructive behavior and many many times to suicidal state. Inability to speak about disagreement with low voice, always screaming. Zero tolerance to alternative opinion, always getting offended, hurt, “f***ed”(in her words) to the deepest deeps of her soul for daily banalities. The talk always ends mentioning dead father and his property. She called police many times on me, all of the time they just went back after witnessing my embarrassment, one time they asked me to leave the house because the rent contract was on her name. I was outside lurking at night with my baggage. It became critical when she left her fathers ring in her mothers home and started to blame me in stilling it. Another thing she blamed me in robbing her because she found my savings that my father gave to me. Last night she was asking my 4 years old son to call police because she tried to kick me out from the house and I said that the house is in my name, she just went wild. I can not count on my fingers times that I was breaking doors of bathrooms to save her from cutting her veins by my shaving razors. She is entering the bathtub and sitting hours under the hot water without moving without blinking. I don’t know what is peace. I am afraid of her behavior. I don’t want to report her, because I am going to **** up my family. There is no way of talking to her, she drives it to arguments and fights... I really love her, but loving her is killing me(really, without exaggeration). Please help me to understand if this can be something serious about her or just hopefully it is about our relationship and how I can fix it.
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#1

Postby hellohello123456789 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:32 pm

This kind of thing usually happens every 2-3 weeks after her just being an amazing wife btw, normally she is just amazing in everything, we are the best family ever, except those extreme scenes of crisis that come out of nowhere through the cause of banalities. When her “portal” of this behavior opens it is closing only after THE EXTREME which can be huge fight with hands, suicide attempt, silence forever ghost mode, passive aggressive behavior forever till again she drives it to a fight... i want you to understand that it is very difficult to be calm in her presence, she is anxious, overeating... I lost my hope when she lately said quoting “living with another person is an extreme”. Please help.
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#2

Postby laureat » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:45 am

1) how she reacting is wrong and you should not accept that

if she is not willing to change make an ultimatum about it

[ stop doing that or we are done ]

2) you need to think about: if there is something wrong about what you are doing and making her uncomfortable

Are you willing to change?

Let her know what you want from her
listen to what she has to say
Try to find out what you doing wrong
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#3

Postby Fore1519 » Sun Nov 11, 2018 3:54 pm

I know this is a year old but I hope you got her help. The behavior you are describing is not healthy for anyone. She sounds like she is bi polar. If you didn’t get her help I hope you got yourself and your children out of there. Had a bi polar girlfriend that would do the same sorts of things. She was either in a great mood almost over the top and then she would pick a fight and she was good at it as well usually would take awhile but she would eventually get me to snap and then it’s over I’m the bully/instigator/a**hole.

I loved her but couldn’t take the craziness anymore and had to leave.
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#4

Postby moondaddy1 » Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:22 pm

Doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do other than try to remain as calm as possible when things kick off like that. She clearly has "issues" and ultimately has to resolve them herself but with help along the way. If and/or when the time comes when it really starts to get out of hand you'll know and you'll know that the only course of action left for you at that point is to ,leave.
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#5

Postby hellohello123456789 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 4:51 pm

Hello, thank you all for your time and empathy. things didn't change much from the time I left this message in January this year... expect I lost passion in a lot of things in my life because of "fights".... trying to analyze to give a solution in a way that I don't leave is a hell. SHE IS A WOMAN... she is strong.... LAW Supports her..... I SUPPORT her.... I don't know why... still.... because I care about her I guess in the end of the day... because I understand that her only solution is her own suicide and I don't take it as solution.... the other solution is me leaving.... leaving behind two beautiful men of 5 and 3 years old growing up without me taking responsibility, without my care and education..... which is impossible. I guess this is it... this is how we live.... slowly fading away... giving as much as we can to whom we brought up to this reality. I am not psychologist or etc. but I realized that she has couple of real issues that contributes to my hell and one of them is her super deep feeling/thoughts of REJECTION/ABANDONMENT that probably come from her childhood or teenager (who cares).... another issue is that she gives importance/value(idk) to me but at the same time she is challenged by that "importance/value" so she kind of feels in few words miserable in front of what she admires maybe?! THAT by my opinion is F***** UP seriously. She always says that she knows that she is not "enough" for me, etc... etc... etc... etc.. in few words – I can not express my rage against parents who raise their daughters(specially) ignorant, without basic education of logic or common sense.... sad reality of playing with dolls and combing the hair.....putting in grave danger the future of their daughters, future families, future generations and entire humanity (this is not exaggerated btw). please share your thoughts.... love and respect
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#6

Postby Mayfair » Wed Nov 14, 2018 8:52 pm

Let other men have sex with your wife. It's called cuckolding. A lot of men are into it these days.

Spicy!!
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#7

Postby mojman » Fri Dec 07, 2018 6:57 pm

This is a year old and I hope you got the help you need. This is not something going away without professional help. It could be bi-polar disorder, but it really even could be PTSD. Did she have a traumatic childhood that could have led her to develop PTSD? Sounds like daily life is stressful for her until it "overflows" in an episode of crazy every few weeks.

In any case, you need to get her professional help. Explain to her that this is not normal and if she doesn't get help, it will psychologically mess up you AND your kids. You leaving is no solution, it will put her in even more stress.
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