Jealous of my girlfriend

Postby winzer » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:42 am

We've been together for about 1 year. She recently just bough a house. While I'm very happy for her I had some other disturbing emotions come up.

One that registers is jealousy. Her parents basically paid for her house. I have worked extremely hard for the past couple years just to muster a down payment and I'm still not there yet. This really makes me angry and jealous. I don't have an affluent background at all. I just feel so jealous and resentful. But she's my girlfriend and I love her. I don't know how to deal with these emotions :(

She also seems to have her life planned out so much and know what she wants. While I'm still wondering...I feel like I'm the older male, I should be leading and have my life figured out at 31. But this is not the case. This really frustrates me.

I'm just venting. I have a bunch of negative emotions going through me at once and only so much can be translated into words, it sucks....
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Postby winzer » Mon Jan 22, 2018 6:03 am

Another thought I'm ashamed to share is that hoping that something doesn't work out with her career or house. But this is a downright evil thought, and I don't know why I have it. I love my girlfriend deeply, so why would I want such a thing? Does this make me a bad person?
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Postby Livetowin » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:00 pm

Deep seated insecurities will go a long way in serving your worst fears because subconsciously you direct them to that end result. If you let what people do and have define how you see yourself, then you're using one dimensional labels to sow the seeds of resentment against those individuals. It's pretty self serving too because you're essentially saying you should have it first based on your comments. Are you wanting to stand in lockstep with her or in opposition, because relationships don't work out when they become contests.

Her resources are deeper than yours. If she has access to those and it doesn't impact her vision for herself, that speaks highly of her to look past material means and stay focused on developing herself and remaining focus on what she wants to do in life. That should not hinder you, it should inspire you.

Quit keeping tabs on possessions and focus on your own goals. You will be surprised how much that allows you to clear the air and become more accomplished yourself, when both eyes are on your own goals, instead of worrying about hers.
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