Weed PAWS 2 months

Postby Robb1e_g » Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:52 am

Hello everyone, I'm brand new to this website and was just looking for some people who can relate and some reassurance.

I'm currently 19 years old and for about a year I smoked THC wax for about a year daily. I didn't realize that I had paranoia when I smoked and anxiety started developing slowly the more I smoked. Around almost 3 months ago I quit smoking because that day I had tried LSD for the first time with some "friends". I ended breaking all of these tripping rules and did no research on lsd due to my ignorance and I smoked about 5 dabs and a few bowls and ended up having the worst time of my life. I had a full on panic attack, my first ever, for around 4 to 5 hours and felt extremely alone, not in touch with reality, terrible dark thought loops of just the worst things I can imagine. I called my mom and she brought me home. I couldn't fall asleep till 5 am and I took the tab around 11 or noon that day.

I haven't smoked since but have been going through a rough time with PAWS and possibly something with the trauma from lsd. The first month and a half were complete hell, there was no relief to the anxiety and panic attacks and negative thoughts and intrusive thoughts.

As of now, things are considerably better, the only things that are really upsetting is the depersonalization and anxiety and sometimes depressive moods. I don't know how long exactly this will last, but I exercise pretty much daily and take things like fish oil b complex magnesium GABA L theyanine vitamin d3. I am seeing a psychiatrist in a week but I refuse to take any medications because I was never a depressed person and no more anxious than any other person. I was always such a positive outgoing friendly loving person with many ambitions and hopes for the future but I'm really trying hard to look past the bleakness I see in the future and I won't give up till this goes away. Can anyone relate or give any assurance or criticism?
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#1

Postby asgoodasitgets » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:32 am

@ Robb1e_g 8)

I can completely relate to what you posted as I read your post in detail. You are not alone, my friend. The fact that you are open to discuss the issues you are facing is a HUGE stepping stone. In my humble opinion, there is no magic fix to start feeling good. The greatest catalyst for change will be simply abstaining. You will feel better every single day. All of the manic depression, anxiety, doubt, shame, whatever...it will fade. You absolutely have the power to feel better and change your life.

So have you been clean for 2 months now? That's a great accomplishment. I did quit before in the past and it took a month to feel better and about three, if I recall, to feel "great." I also went through "the abyss" of depression. Nothing in life made sense or felt "right." This too, shall pass.

Stay motivated, drink tons of water, exercise, maybe get a good detox tea just to help clear you out. Talking to a therapist is also a good plan, there are behavioral therapists out there who can help you change the way you perceive the world without resorting to antidepressants as you mentioned that you would prefer to do without.

You aren't alone. Congratulations on taking the first step. I wish I would have had the brains to quit at your age.
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#2

Postby Robb1e_g » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:09 am

@asgoodasitgets
Thanks man I really appreciate it a lot. I actually have seen a therapist and it helped for the first month when I was in huge need for help. It's been around 2 and a half to three months of being clean. It's just real rough with the depersonalization and all. I've never experienced something so dark but you're right it is getting better. I actually bought some chamomile tea today and drank some, and I e really dove into a book about getting my confidence back up again, I'm glad to just sew that I'm not alone and that one day I'll feel as happy and ambitious about things again and not see things In a dark twisted way. This anxiety just makes me feel like I'm doomed in a sense if you know what I mean. And so many questions go through my head that I start to almost believe until I finally get myself out of it again. Just really trying hard with positive affirmations
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#3

Postby asgoodasitgets » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:52 pm

@ Robb1e_g 8)

I can assure you that if you continue to abstain, the THC related anxiety will subside. You should be extremely proud of yourself for making it to 2-3 months, that's great. You are not alone. Forgive yourself. The fact that you are here and in a self-improvement mental state speaks volumes. Be proud of it, stay clean. Life will improve. Last time I did this I managed to quit for 3 years and trust me man, all the bs depression, negativity, should subside to manageable levels. Get exercise and take care of yourself. Think about the new life you are building. You got this. :)

-Alex
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#4

Postby Robb1e_g » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:01 pm

I appreciate it bro, honestly feeling pretty good today. Thanks for the support man it helps me and so many others.
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#5

Postby gretschguy » Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:26 pm

I have some similarities to your story. I tried LSD at 16 and did it again at 17, and 18. I started smoking cannabis daily from about 16-22. Before that point I used pot infrequently and felt slightly groggy at times afterwards. However after the LSD and constant cannabis use I was at a new level of head fog and my vision seemed like I was tripping if I would stare too long at things. I had a great lsd trip my first time, but the other two times were not fun at all. The day after my first trip everything was vibrant and beautiful. I gained an enormous amount of progress with my guitar creativity wise. I also had bad shroom trips in between and after these lsd trips. My stomach just never can handle normal doses of mushrooms. Depersonalization can be really hard to deal with. I think as you quit pot and make a new life you will become a new person. And to be honest normal people can sometimes question who they are as they age and life is not as certain as childhood is.

As I am writing to you now I have quit cannabis for 22 months. The first 6 months were hellish and I felt like crap. I thought I had fried my brain and would never lose the anxiety. I had a massive panic attack and had crazy circular thoughts about death and life. Fortunately I went from smoking an 8th every two days, to smoking an 8th every month at the last few months of my cannabis use. This tapering proved useful. Somethings I would advise you to do in the first year of PAWS is to find a hobby or something that releases stress. ( Creative or Physical is good). The most important thing however is to change your diet, as this will make you feel much better. Supplements can also be good if you are not getting enough vitamins. Specifically buy a juicer and juice raw vegetables and fruits. This will make you feel great and give you the nutrition you need to feel good again.

Mentally I felt 80-90% after the first 6 months. By a year and a half I felt 95% better mentally. At this point after changing my diet and starting juicing/eating less processed foods/meat I feel amazing physically and mentally. This was the last mental hurdle, feeling crappy still from my bad diet. I am riding at about 110%. I am happier than any point I was stoned because I have made goals and progress in my life. Go to college, learn a trade, invest in the stock market. Do positive things to advance your position.

Some things to not do that delayed my recovery were:

Drinking Beer
Eating crappy food
Feeling Sorry for myself and reading too many forum posts
Using social media more
Do not vape or use tobacco

I think everyone wants to feel like they did before pot again, but it is hard to say that you will ever feel the same. Everyone is constantly changing as they age, so if you eat healthy and set goals/have willpower and something to live for you will be better than you were even before pot. I think many people are worried about their intellectual abilities after using weed. If you quit your short term memory will improve, your long term memory will improve, and your focus will be enhanced. Everything takes hard work and determination though. It gets easier overtime.

I will say a year ago I took a small dose of shrooms and had a few beers at a concert and I felt great. I had no fog or bad mental effects from the shrooms afterward like I did with LSD and pot use. I hate to say it, but that light shroom trip just gave me a good feeling of hope. I feel no urge to use pot at all. And to be honest psychedelics like lsd and shrooms are really not addictive. I was also using pot on all my psychedelic trips which I think made everything worse back in the day.

My habits these days are juicing and taking supplements everyday. I have no social media accounts. I stay in touch with true friends with calls and texts. Reduced my animal product consumption by 90%. Studying hard, and playing alot of guitar/music. I am going to be 25 this year. It really does get better. I think having PAWS and being at a critical age of growing up and finding a place in the world makes the PAWS even worse. Because everyone is already lost to some extent and PAWS just amplifies that. Anyways I wish you success in your journey, always focus on the positive as cliche as that sounds.
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#6

Postby mikeabbot » Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:53 am

I'm now at almost 5 months. Believe me, it gets better. Keep in mind that it's not a straight curve, but rather a long path with ups and downs. To me anxiety, low libido and general lack of motivation is still a problem. But it's slowly getting better.
The first 3-4 months were horrible, the first 2 months were a nightmare.

You're doing a good job!

Omega 3 and magnesium helps!

Cheers to new you!
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#7

Postby Robb1e_g » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:01 pm

Wow thanks so much guys for the replies. I did realize that the depression has really kicked in but I haven't given up on daily supplements and daily exercise and my jobs. Listening to motivational videos and dance has been so helpful for me, not to mention your replies. AT times nothing in life seems right but also at other times and deep down inside I know I can do this. Building my faith in religion has done wonders for me. I appreciate the replies so much as it really helps me immensely, and that marijuana withdrawal is a real thing. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through but I'm learning a lot from it. A problem that was mentioned that probably isn't helping though is I'm constantly on my phone looking at other forums and stuff so I'm definitely going to try and abstain from. That and focus on myself. Again thanks for the replies
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