My Weed Break-up Diary....the why and how

#60

Postby exstonerinhell » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:57 am

Alex, just wanted to pop into your thread and say that you're awesome. Keep it up man, and thank you for your encouragement you've given me.
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#61

Postby asgoodasitgets » Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:21 am

2 Solid Months Off Herb - 60 Long Days/Nights Exactly...

And I am loving life. Yes, I've been quiet my friends because I've focused much time and energy into trying to improve my life and clean up some of the mess I had left in the wake of my addiction.

I gotta say, I love each and every single one of you (Sightblack, Reckoning, SFGayMan30s, ExStonerinHell, Edibee....to name a few). You guys have been absolutely instrumental in getting me this far. To those of you who paved the way before "our round" of quitting, blessings to you as well.

Quitting my 15 year habit has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I used to be so insecure about even admitting I had a problem. I would always recall that line in Half Baked:

Image

HAHAHA - NO - I never stooped that low. But all hilarity aside, this is how society perceives marijuana addiction. That it is basically a joke, that there is no such thing as withdrawal, that people can't get addicted to weed. It was this myth that kept me going for so long...after all, in my eyes I stood no chance of developing a dependence on something that wasn't addictive. In retrospect, the myths and superstitions surrounding cannabis are instrumental in feeding into the vicious cycle of addiction, at least they were to me. I had to essentially scratch everything I knew, believed, and thought about cannabis and its role in my life and rebuild from the ground up....I don't think I could have quit any other way.

So What's Changed?....

I'm sure for the lurkers, you want to know what's changed in my life since I quit? You want to know if it's worth it? That's a good question, because I'm not going to lie to you, it's definitely a sacrifice to give up a habit like this, especially if you've been abusing the drug as long as I have (15 years)...

- I like myself more; more confidence; self-esteem
- I am more communicative, emotionally available and empathetic - I genuinely care for others on a deeper level
- I am more articulate, analytical, and coherent - I am reading instead of getting stoned, planning my future
- Life doesn't seem as "mysterious" or as difficult; I can roll with the punches easier and adapt to change more easily
- I have more $$$ and time to make tangible changes to my life
- I feel more empowered - If I want something I am going to reach out and get it - nothing is stopping me from what I want

These are just a few spur the moment benefits I am listing. The list goes on and on.... To anybody just getting started, say with less than 30 days...I know what you are going through. It can feel like life will never be as good...that's a LIE. Life will get better. If I have learned anything in this journey, its that the majority of the benefits of quitting come with time. It is a game of deferred gratification, so if you are at 14 days and thinking nothing has changed, DON'T GIVE UP...Get some time under your belt before your decide if the cons outweigh the pros and vice versa...

That's it for tonight! I'm gonna light a candle and celebrate my 2 month milestone! :)

-Alex
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#62

Postby exstonerinhell » Sat Mar 31, 2018 7:04 am

Was curious how you were doin, Alex. Great to hear you're doing so good, man!
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#63

Postby reckoning » Sat Mar 31, 2018 5:37 pm

Hey Alex,

Congratulations. Ditto ditto to every single thing you say in your post. And you know what makes it so real- you shared this tough gig with us. Yes it is a sacrifice but it is so worth it. I really get alot out of the encouragement you give to us all.

I am so happy to have reached the three month mark this week-end and this is really moving me along.

asgoodasitgets wrote: I feel more empowered - If I want something I am going to reach out and get it - nothing is stopping me from what I want


Empowerment is amazing and this is how it's starting to manifest for me. I realise I have the power, without the weed, to live life well.

My big mental shift can be summed up as - It's not about what life does to me anymore , rather it's becoming about WHAT I DO TO LIFE.

And after these three months of growth and rewiring and some hard learning ( and not much sleep ) I'm feeling more prepared to do my life well. hey what a relief. Finally my disaster response team is getting some well earned rest!

These milestone we acknowledge , and stock-takes that we do here, are so worthy of having a candle lit. I'm going to do the same.

And the other thing that is really really important to me is being able to share these thoughts with you guys because even though I know a lot of enlightened folk none of them know this territory of getting weed out of your life as you guys do. People I know cannot relate at all to the achievements we are making in our lives.

My list of benefits at three months is very similar to yours . The sleep thing still sucks but I dont really mind being awake at 3am when I can communicate with you all out there.

Thanks so much for posting your update Alex. It's become very important to me to know that you are doing OK. Of course we are all doing this for ourselves but I certainly know when an urge comes upon me that the first thing I think about, which really helps me, is sh** no I'm not going back down that path because I would have to admit it here and me staying strong is part of what helps us all stay strong. Thanks for staying strong Alex.

One final share. Something I really love at the this three month mark is that I no longer have to rely on any GPS when I get in the car to get me to familiar places. I no longer have to sit there for a good three minutes trying to recall really familiar routes . Nope I can get in the car and off I go without racking my brains.

Thanks every one, and keep going , and keep posting. cheers Liz
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#64

Postby EdiBee » Sun Apr 01, 2018 2:19 am

Glad to hear good news from you Alex!

Indeed, these last days I was thinking if everything was ok for you. Your posts are very inspirational my friend, and well written. So let's keep this good fight. Have a good day Alex and all others!

Ed
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#65

Postby natmar89 » Sun Apr 01, 2018 7:43 pm

[quote="asgoodasitgets"]Day 5 AM Update:

I've officially crossed the 100 hour mark according to an app on my phone that is helping me keep track of my progress.

What is this phone app that you speak of?! :shock:
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#66

Postby asgoodasitgets » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:35 pm

@ Natmar89 - Hello and welcome to the party. My particular app is called "Sober Time" but there are a handful of them out there for you to choose from. I wish you the best of success in your endeavors and if you ever need a sounding board all of the people here are @mazing! :)
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#67

Postby Freedomhfx » Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:25 pm

Very happy for you, Alex. You and I started this journey right around the same time and I can second your comments about how giving up has improved life in so many ways.

For me, I took a seasonal job that will end just in time for summer! It keeps me busy through the days and has kept me from hiding away from the world; something I can do quite easily.

It hasn't been easy, but it does get easier. This forum has gotten me through some really difficult periods and I am grateful every day for finding it.

Keep up the very excellent work!
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#68

Postby asgoodasitgets » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:50 am

10 Weeks Today - 70 days

Hey All - just a quick update. Today is 70 days for me, or 10 weeks for those of you who choose not to partake in division ;)

I don't have the energy to go on my typical rant, suffice it to say I'm holding strong and you should too. I don't even remember what it's like to be stoned but I can say without reservation that I don't miss the confusion, lack of confidence, or forgetfulness. Nothing's perfect, but I feel like I am more in control of my emotions and destiny than I have been for a long time.

To those of you in the trenches, I am there with you in spirit: keep fighting the good battle. To those of you deciding whether or not you want to wage this war, I highly encourage you to grab a spear and get at it. Life is too short to live in a haze, especially once you decide you are done.

Can't wait to make it to triple digits or 100 days, but for now, I'll enjoy my 10-week milestone. Blessings to you all! :)

-A
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#69

Postby TonyTheCat » Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:05 pm

Hey, Alex!
Glad to hear you have 70 days clean. How are you doing in terms of anxiety? I'm 4 weeks behind you and sometimes my anxiety become literaly unbearable. Looking forward to the point when the things are changed. Thanks in advance for reply!
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#70

Postby asgoodasitgets » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:43 pm

@TonyTheCat - thank you kindly for your words of encouragement. I've found that anxiety comes and goes in waves but overall I've seen HUGE and DRASTIC improvements in terms of my overall anxiety since quitting. I do have GAD, but a lot of my weed-related anxiety revolved around social situations and my ability to interact with other humans has gotten so much better since I quit.

So you're at about 6 weeks now, correct? How long were you a smoker and how often did you smoke?

I hope this helps: In my humble opinion, quitting isn't going to magically make the anxiety or pain disappear. What it will do is put you in a better position to be able to deal with these emotions, identify them, and take steps to start healing from them. So if your anxiety revolves around people, quitting will put you in a better place to go out and practice interacting with others. If your anxiety is about finances, you will be in a better head space and have the clarity you need to develop a financial game plan. See where I'm going here? Quitting isn't the magic wand, but it will put the magic wand in your hand. It's up to you to wave it and make sh** happen.

I am sorry you are having negative thoughts and I totally understand what you're saying in terms of it being disabling at times. Feel free to PM me if you ever need a sounding board. If you can, kindly elaborate as to what you are feeling or fixated on when you are at your worst. The fact of the matter is, you are still detoxing. So yes, I believe that each and every day you are healing. Anxiety is a sign that your body is healing...it's kind of like your body is short-circuiting because its chemical equilibrium is off. Trust in the process and acknowledge the anxiety, don't run from it. I highly recommend meditation, exercise, and journaling. You will feel better, I promise you that my friend. I am a completely different person than I was when I quit, more capable of dealing with issues instead of running from them. Six (6) weeks is something you should be proud of and I am proud of you! <3 Keep fighting the good fight, the idea that things won't get better is a lie. Addiction wants you to think that you are always going to feel like sh**, you aren't. Keep doing your thing and thank your body for the struggle, it is a tangible sign that you are healing.

Blessings 2 you.

-Alex
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#71

Postby Bagobones » Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:04 pm

asgoodasitgets wrote:Quitting isn't the magic wand, but it will put the magic wand in your hand. It's up to you to wave it and make sh** happen.

-Alex


Amen! And even then it takes hard work as everything else. The sooner you start building better habbits the better off you are.
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#72

Postby TonyTheCat » Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:52 pm

Alex, I cannot even express how I'm grateful for your reply!!!
Today was pretty hard day and you words like a balsam for my soul! I know, I'm healing. Every of us are healing. And there is no silver bullet just to shot dead this PAWS monster for good. The only way is to keep patience.
Shortly about me.
I'm 33 (almost 34) years old, have beautiful loving wife and 2 children - boy and girls (twins) what is a miracle by itself in our harsh world.
I used to smoke since I was 15. It was just curiousity, act of socializing. I didn't feel anything that time. There were other times. And to my delight I found that the weed could be amazing! It made me laughing, felt happiness and touched the sky. The time went. Aproximatly 15 years till recently I used to enjoyed this magic smoke. I had the best stuff I could ever got. Seeds from Amsterdam + hydroponic system could work miracles. For the last 10 years weed became other drug. We made it stronger. We made it dangerous. And now we have to pay for it.
I have no illusions about my withdrawal, bad time will be lasting for a 3-4 months more. And I strengthen the heart.
God blessed this forum and people like you Alex, SoulFull, cleanofgreen, Wave and others who gives the hope and relief in this struggle. I have never had true faith, but you know, there are no atheists in the trenches under fire.

I'm doing all the common things like exercise, supplemental (Omega-3 and Mexidol seems to be useful). Also I'm keeping my progress in spreadsheets, will share it in the end of my withdrawal. It's very interesting for newbies to look at the timeline. I've spent a lot of time lurking here.

God bless you my friends and let the new day will gift you some good hours at least!

Best Regards,
Tony
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#73

Postby TonyTheCat » Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:54 pm

in pursuit - I'm 42 days absolutely clean of any drugs except sugar and sometimes coffee.
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#74

Postby asgoodasitgets » Mon Apr 09, 2018 11:29 pm

42 days is definitely a huge start, especially since the first several weeks/months tend to be the hardest. Just keep your eyes on the prize and stay motivated and pretty soon you won't even remember what day you are on anymore. Also, it helps me to acknowledge the anxiety instead of denying it. I'm about the same age as your bro and I am so happy to be done with this part of my life. I know it will be a constant battle, but I feel much better now that I have some serious time behind me.

I'll be looking forward to your updates and hearing news of your progress. <3 Love + Blessings to you and your family.

Alex
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