3 1/2 months PAWS HELP

Postby Robb1e_g » Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:15 pm

Hello, I've posted a few times already about my story, but I am in need of reassurance.

So basically long story short I smoked concentrated THC wax for at least 8 months daily;if not up to a year. I am currently 19. I know smoking as a teenager can have worse effects on you but I am glad I stopped sooner rather than later. The reason I stopped was because I tried lsd for the first time and had a horrendous trip and had a panic attack during it(never had issues with anxiety/depression before) and it was very dark. That's the day I quit cold turkey. I also quit vaping with nicotine altogether as well(don't know if that affects this). The first three to four days were fine and then I ended up having a terrible panic attack thinking about my trip. These thoughts were very dark and basically the first month was hell. I went to therapy and it helped a little and I honestly I don't believe that the trip bothers me anymore at all. My problem is around month 3 is when I really started to feel the depression. I've heard a lot about PAWS and I think that I suffer from many of the symptoms. Basically nothing in life makes sense to me. There are many times where I feel too overwhelmed to keep going; but deep down inside I could never bring myself to ever hurt myself. However it's very worrying to me that my anxiety is pretty bad and this depression is awful. I've seen other posts of people having suicidal ideation during it as well and was hoping someone could give reassurance that it's nothing to feel bad about or worry about. I was always such a happy guy and grateful for everything and now its like its hard not to have pessimistic thoughts constantly to the point that theyre so irrational like this. I womder if its part of PAWS as ive seen many other people deal with pessimistic thinking.Thank you for reading this. And I hope this all goes away soon.
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Postby neuroplastic » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:20 pm

Hi Rob

It seems that we’re on the same timeline, with quite similar stories.
I’m 3,5 months in, and like you I quit cold turkey after an unpleasant adventure on something a little too strong. I explained everything in a thread of the forum. I too smoked around 19 (that’s when I started), but for a much longer period than you did.
First of all, I can totally relate to your bad trip aftermath. The following days and weeks, I had violent panic attacks and I really didn’t feel like myself anymore. I thought I was slowly drifting into madness, but it got better around the second month. Started therapy as well, which didn’t really help with my symptoms, but I figured it was a good time to understand the roots and mechanisms of my psyche. It’s always cool to know that someone is following up and is here to support you in this time of crisis.
I know exactly what you mean when you feel overwhelmed… I too get this deep feeling that I just can’t take this anymore, but somehow when you acknowledge it as it is (a feeling) I think you can allow it to pass. Add anxiety and depression, and - my friend - I think we’re both into an authentic post-acute phase of withdrawal. It’s also the first time I experience all these deep bad emotions and I know it’s hard. I’ve managed to detach a little from these feelings in a philosophical sense ; and tell myself, always and always, that it will get better. There is no such thing as “**** up your brain for good”. Certainly not. Things are never static. You should read about neuroplasticity (I recommend The Brain’s Way of Healing by Norman Doidge). It’s really inspiring work, and very reassuring for the challenge we’re living.
It might take some time, but I’m sure you will make it. We will make it ;)

All the best for both of us
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