Weed for Two

[theregrefulstoner]

Hi there, this is my first post on this website and I am keen to see what type of responses I get!
I am 21 years of age, female, who has been smoking pot everyday for the past 3 years, all day everyday. My partner of almost 2 years has been smoking cigarettes and weed for almost 10 years. Coming into 2018, I decided to stop smoking weed, along with being let back home, it's an impossibility (which is a great thing, I can not access it at all when I am at home with my mum) to have a smoke. The first few weeks of quitting cold turkey, I was substituting the cannabis for Xanax to help with my severe anxiety and sleeping. Now I don't depend on anything to sleep at all, and for the first time in years I was completely clean for 1 whole week! It felt amazing to have my head thinking clearly again.

Although, whenever I see my boyfriend (who still smokes but isn't anywhere near as dependant on it as he used to be) it's so hard to keep the track record of being clean. Meaning, I know I CAN say no and I have the willpower to turn cones away. But sometimes, it's so hard when I know it's going to be there, or when it's right in front of me. I think to myself "One won't hurt". So I have one, I get super stoned now from just one.. but then feel so so guilty. I know I want to be clean, but then the feeling of complete tranquility takes over and I feel calm for a little while.

My main motive for this post is to question wether there is anyone else out there, who has been addicted themselves along with their partner. And has quit while their partner still smokes, and manages to stay together?

I DO NOT want my relationship to end because of pot, or because he smokes and I don't. Someone please tell me if they have had any experience with quitting weed themselves while having a boyfriend or girlfriend that still chooses to smoke.

[theregrefulstoner]

Someone please help

[quietvoice]

Someone please help

Smoking weed, for a lot of people, is a lifestyle choice. Smoking weed, for a lot of people for whom it is a lifestyle, tend to hang with those who also smoke weed, for the fact that it is easier to be social with others who also smoke weed or party. This limits the smoker's social circle pretty much to those who engage in partying.

How do you envision your life to be from here on out? Do you want to hang with those who don't care about their life enough to keep a clear head and do something of more significance with their time than to blaze up another one? What makes this boy so special that you would put yourself through the agony of temptation every time you see him?

[theregrefulstoner]

I agree with what you stated above, if I socialise with people that only live that lifestyle I will never get away from it.
This boy has helped me overcome all my familial issues, we lived together for a year and a half and he helped me become a woman. Before that I was ruining my self, I was smoking ice with my ex partner and putting myself in hospital from chronic self harm. He practically saved me from myself.

[Sightblack]

My wife and I have been together 8 years. She has smoked with me plenty of times but is not a habitual user. We had a heart to heart one night while I was pressing her to smoke with me and she just came out and told me she doesn't like the way being high makes her feel. She told me she didn't like the smell of it either. For a couple of years (yes years) I would smoke outside or if it were cold etc, I would smoke in the bathroom with the door shut and the fan on. Eventually I upgraded to a big fancy air filter that was capable of filtering smoke particles out of the air and here it sits on my desk right now. I joined this website to get support for quitting so I don't actually sit here and blow smoke into anymore but I can honestly say: In goes the smoke, out comes clean smelling air. I was impressed. I digress.

Bottom line is, she hasn't smoked weed with me a few years now... probably like 3 or 4 years. She voiced her thoughts to me and I embraced them with love. I believe 100% that if one of you decided you no longer want to smoke pot, so long as your partner supports YOUR decision... I don't understand how it could put a strain on your relationship. Pot has never put a strain on mine. It has strained several other avenues of my life though-- getting jobs, complicates visiting relatives, and my personal favorite... the financial strain. If your partner embraces your decision as I did with my wife, I don't think you will even look back on this question.

Lastly, the reason I commented on your thread-- You said something that hit close to home. Something I dealt with for years and years, multiple times per day. I say I'm gonna slow down with my smoking.. or I'm going to take a day or 2 break from smoking... cave in... get high... euphoria... followed by guilt... followed by getting high again to alleviate the guilt. I figure I've spent about half the time I've been high in my life feeling guilty about getting high!

Finally I got serious about quitting. It wasn't just because of the guilt... but now that I'm not going to smoke anymore ... now that I've ACTUALLY made that decision... ACTUALLY flipped the switched inside of me... I can say with full confidence that getting high isn't worth the guilt I was putting on myself about getting high. It is completely redundant for me to get high. I realize that now. It took me years to actually bring myself to quit... because even when I said I wanted to quit or that I was gonna quit, not only would I find some way to validate my getting stoned... but I never really wanted to quit. I wanted to keep smoking. As long as you have that part of you that still secretly wants to smoke or wants smoking to be okay... I believe you aren't going to quit until that part of you is gone. What I'm saying isn't factual, it is opinion, but I believe that every person on this forum that has quit smoking because they no longer had that secret desire. Sorry if this is TLDR. You touched home with me though and I thought I'd share with you.

I wish you all the success in the world! You can make that decision and stand by it! It has been very fulfilling for me to stop for the very short amount of time that I have... and with every little bit of THC that leaves my body everyday, the stronger my will becomes. The first 5 days were the hardest for me.

You can do it. Godspeed.

[quietvoice]

I agree with what you stated above, if I socialise with people that only live that lifestyle I will never get away from it.
This boy has helped me overcome all my familial issues, we lived together for a year and a half and he helped me become a woman. Before that I was ruining my self, I was smoking ice with my ex partner and putting myself in hospital from chronic self harm. He practically saved me from myself.

Do you plan on marrying this dude? Some relationships are good for meeting our needs for a while, and then it's time to move on.

Can you at least take a break from him until you are stronger in your quit?

[asgoodasitgets]

@ theregrefulstoner -

Best to you and welcome to the forums! I've never been in this type of situation, so please take my advice with a grain of salt. I would say whether you should stay together depends on his reaction to your quit. If he is making an effort to support your decision and stand by you, you should be fine, just ask him to keep it far away from you. If he is tempting you and making you feel in any way unsupported, might be time to move on. It's ironic, but when someone is going through a phase of self-improvement, people will either react two ways usually. They will either support you or try to sabotage you. Going through a phase of self-improvement often holds a mirror up to those around us. They start to see themselves and might not like what they see, hence the sabotage. I've had friends of friends who were doing things like losing weight and those around them would say, "you don't need to lose weight, you look great" even if it wasn't true and that person needed to drop a few lbs to be healthy medically. It doesn't sound like your man is sabotaging you, but you definitely need to prioritize your quit if it is something you want to sustain.

Bottom line: if he's got your back stick with him. Otherwise, find someone who shares a similar vision for the future, even if that is sad and hard.

All the best and please let us know you are doing very well!

[Imgunnabeatthis]

You either want to quit or you don't. One hit is not quitting. Its your decision to not but weed is controlling you if yes.quitting sucks im on day 6 and suffering wd...but its just my body wanting what is familiar. The reward will exceed being a drug addict.