plans of actions for stressful situations

Postby Bkhoa » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:42 pm

Hi all,
I am prepared for a final quitting. I was reading this guide: first result when you search "droginfo com guideuk pdf". And I was wondering what you quitters have as "plans of actions for stressful situations" ? For instance if at 4AM you cannot sleep for hours with haunting thoughts emotionally conflicting or about using, or in the morning waking to only think that you cannot not find your dealer today, what would you do ?

For myself I could imagine something immersive and solitary, like playing video games, watching a good movie, having a walk in the neighborhood, meditation, gardening, repairing/building stuff, reading a book. Even if I not sure that would get me through, but it is things I usually like to do and make me feel good.
What you people plan for such circonstances to escape the worst ?
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Postby Bkhoa » Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:21 am

no one has such plans or is there something wrong with my question ?
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Postby reckoning » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:03 am

Welcome to the forum. There are many many strategies in these pages for dealing with the extreme anxiety that comes for many people when quitting. Keep reading through the threads and you will see a lot. It is especially helpful to understand that the early part of a quit is going to be really hard and you need to keep at it. Over time it gets much better.

I find that quitting is not just changing behaviour but it is also about changing your mind set and reactivity to situations you find yourself in.

I do many things go to gym, yoga, meditation, read. Regarding sleeplessness I do my best not to let it become the focus. I welcome the extra hours of wakefulness that I have.
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Postby asgoodasitgets » Sat Feb 24, 2018 7:19 am

Bkhoa wrote:no one has such plans or is there something wrong with my question ?

Hello Bkhoa, welcome to the forums. Nothing "wrong" with that question at all. As reckoning noted, there are pages and page of helpful hints here on the forum. That said, I will give you my personal take at quitting.

Identify why you want to quit and benefits it will yield...

To start, identify the reasons you wish to quit. Having knowledge and insight into your habit will arm you when you are feeling low. Quitting is like declaring war against a certain part of yourself. While you may have every intellectual and emotional reason to quit, physically your body is going to be pissed off that you have suddenly stopped the flow of THC. So, when you are withdrawing and your physical body is giving you every reason to spark up, and it often will, you can disarm these attacks with intellect and reason. For example, I know intellectually I am able to get better jobs when I am not smoking, due to drug testing and just flat out being sharper sober. So when a craving comes up, I remind myself of things like this. Yea, I could blaze...but...I'm really looking forward to the new opportunities around the corner. I try to do this for every single intellectual reason I can list for not smoking.

Sign a Contract with Yourself...

Like yourself, I found a quit-smoking weed guide and completed the worksheet. The most powerful part of it was a contract that I signed, to myself, to stop smoking. I put it right on the refrigerator where I can see it multiple times per day. I am committed to myself, and seeing it in black-and-white, with my signature attached, really helps. I didn't see one in the guide you referenced, but you could always write your own. I am trying to think of myself as a 3rd party, someone outside of me who I am not willing to let down.

Don't grant yourself permission to return to your old lifestyle...

I have told myself that no matter what happens, if my parents both die in an accident, whatever, I will not grant myself permission to get high. I tell myself I am stronger than a plant and that I have spent enough time running from my problems. I guess the key here is being stubborn, telling yourself that there is no reason you will grant myself "permission" to get high. If you are looking for a reason, you will find one.

Prepare yourself for the first few weeks...

If you are a serious smoker, be ready for a rough few first weeks. You mentioned insomnia earlier, it definitely happens. In instances like that I just tell myself to hold on. You don't have to do anything except abstain. Mental outlook also plays a role here. Remind yourself that withdrawal symptoms (insomnia, night sweats, whatever) are a sign of your body healing. This is very helpful. In a way, I have enjoyed the withdrawal because it is emblematic of the detox process. Your body has reached a homeostasis with the THC you have provided it for years, so its only natural that when you remove that chemical, it's going to "short-circuit" a bit. There were many instances during the first 2 weeks of quitting where I just had to sit and count the hours. I downloaded an app for my phone (there are lots) to track the time for me. It has been extremely helpful in keeping me motivated, even if I'm just watching the seconds add up.

If possible, I'd recommend you try to start your quit over a work weekend. Some on this forum have also taken a vacation as to distract themselves and hopefully just help them get through the first few days.

Interact with those who have quit...

You have already started this step, by posting here. The amount of support here is absolutely amazing. This community has people who have quit for years and people who are just starting, but we are all addicts. By sharing our collective wisdom, motivation, and intellectual powers, we are all better arming ourselves for the process of quitting and staying quit. I'd highly recommend you start a quit journal here and write on a daily basis. This is probably the most powerful tool in my arsenal. I can write anything here, without judgment, to a community that I know truly understands me. It's not like talking about weed addiction to a casual smoker or to somebody who has never sparked. Those people just don't "get it." They have no idea what it feels like, especially since the majority of the world believes cannabis is non-addictive and for the most part, benign. There is something powerful about feeling heard and understood, and I encourage you to be as transparent as you can with your progress here.

Change your habits...

- ditch the remaining herb or give it away; ditch your dealers phone numbers

- hold off on interacting with friends/acquaintances who still smoke; if you are "true" friends, you will eventually reunite. If your entire friendship is based on getting high together, no real loss. Avoid those who don't respect your process or attempt to sabotage you. Remember quitting holds up the mirror to them, and if they feel at all insecure about their own habit, they may subconsciously attempt to derail you.

- get some melatonin or kava kava for insomnia - wait out those sleepless nights...don't give in, it is a vicious cycle. Sleep and rest will return. During my first 2 weeks this was my biggest complaint, now I am almost at 4 weeks and I can tell you I am sleeping like a baby again...finally. This is serious deferred gratification in practice.

- I don't smoke cigarettes but I did buy a vape pen and filled it with 0% nicotine vape juice. When I am seriously craving, I pull this sucker out and take a few is no weed, but it definitely helps me out in a pinch. Total placebo effect but it works.

- tell a supportive friend or family member you have quit. This makes it real. My friends and family are sharing in my success, and it makes me not want to let them down. I am accountable to them and myself, I want to make them proud.

I hope this helps, my friend. Let me know if you have any questions and/or comments. I wish you the best of success in this. You are absolutely capable of making this happen. Remind yourself that previously you had a life without weed. All of the joys of being alive, the beauty, the passions, they will all come back after a while. When you quit, everything seems dull, almost black and white. Within weeks though, you should be seeing in color again...maybe not the best or brightest or sharpest colors, but colors nonetheless. It never gets "easy," you just get stronger.

All the best.

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Postby tokeless » Sat Feb 24, 2018 9:10 am

My only advice is to challenge the belief that smoking weed helps manage stress. Manage your stress by identifying what causes it and dealing with the causes. Weed just delays doing that, hence the appeal and belief it has managed it.
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Postby reckoning » Sat Feb 24, 2018 10:39 pm

Yes for sure writing here in this forum every day will help you. Thanks asgoodasitgets, you give so many words of wisdom. And tokeless too. I endorse both of what these guys posted. ( still have not worked out how to do the quite thing)

Writing in this forum is a very strong tool in your arsenal is very very true. I've had a few days of reactivity but always coming here and even just writing a few words gives me a deeper and satisfying connection to my resolve to keep going with the quit- my investment to a longed for freedom from the restrictions and negativity of how weed can shape many of us over the long term.

Stressful situations are a part of life, stressful situations are a part of smoking weed. I prefer the stressful situations I have when NOT smoking weed. Over the long term I handle them better but it does take time. One day I will feel great and then the next I am very challengeg again- the good old PAWS, I know that old dog so giving her pats today.
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Postby Bkhoa » Wed May 30, 2018 4:07 pm

Thank you all for the replies, I really didn't expect any, so I didn't came back. I see them only now.

I guess the hard thing for me is to do nothing when I feel so bad with no real cause just from withdrawal, even after months, all the emotions that come up. What I was looking for is what to do in these crisis cases, to help from falling back into it. Actually, I am better able to resist to weed when I have a real stressor, because at least I would have something to worry about (and usually I am afraid to smoke if I am already panicked). But if I want to relax and I can't for no reason, I get crazy.

I appreciate all the advices. I will try to put them into practice, and come back here to share.

But I have to confess that since I discovered that weed is egosyntonic to what I beleive is my "schizoid personnality disorder", for me, stopping weed is more that only unhooking the addiction and that I need first to free myself from so much need of rich and safe interior experience split from the real world and other people I perceive so threatening. It does seem complicated, but in short, I am smoking to make my personnality defenses more efficient. When I stop, even after months, my defenses don't work well so I feel too bad to continue. Of course there is substitutes (reading books, nature, etc) that's what I meant by safe plans. But none as powerful as weed. So I guess like anyone on earth, I need to work on myself to make my defenses unnecessary. But that's maybe to discuss rather on psychology forum.
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Postby Candid » Thu May 31, 2018 6:46 am

Bkhoa wrote:I discovered that weed is egosyntonic to what I beleive is my "schizoid personnality disorder", for me, stopping weed is more that only unhooking the addiction and that I need first to...

This kind of belief/justification and delaying tactic isn't helpful. Just saying.
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Postby Wave » Thu May 31, 2018 11:25 am

Weed withdrawal can take up to 12-18 month to fully reset. I am almost at 500 days (~16 months) and I still have days I think "ooo let's smoke a bong". That is to be expected but your mindset that you cant change it will always set you up to fail.

I would argue that if you have any issues around mental health that taking THC in any way/form can risk making these issues worse, and I am speaking from first hand experience when I say that.

You can change but the first step is to fully believe that.
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Postby Bkhoa » Thu May 31, 2018 12:01 pm

Thanks @Candid, I appreciate that you point that out. It was not clear what I said. I do not justify weed, just the opposite. It's a bit in the line of what you say @Wave.

THC can make anyone's psychological problem worse. For schizoid personnality types, that I identify myself strongly with, I find weed is even more addictive and destructive than for anyone else. It drives us to isolate even more from the external world and others, and that's our specialty, isolation.

But that's not all. The task is even greater, as I not only need to get rid of weed, but also of this need of shutting in, especially when I dont smoke. It's two inseparable tasks, and I believe now it explains why I fell back into it even after 2 years without it. Other personnality types don't need that much to shut-in, not to say it's easy for them to stop weed, but somehow their defenses don't benefit that much from weed, although they may have another more effective drug (e.g. cocaine for Narcissic type according to wikipedia).

It is really interesting what they say about weed and schizoids on Wikipedia :
"Sharon Ekleberry suggests that marijuana "may be the single most egosyntonic drug for individuals with SPD because it allows a detached state of fantasy and distance from others, provides a richer internal experience than these individuals can normally create, and reduces an internal sense of emptiness and failure to participate in life. Also, alcohol, readily available and safe to obtain, is another obvious drug of choice for these individuals. Some will use both marijuana and alcohol and see little point in giving up either. They are likely to use in isolation for the effect on internal processes.""

I hope I am not ennoyingly displaying my recent psycholocal research. One thing schizoids do is to do everything themselves, e.g. making my own research on psychology instead of seeing a specialist. The other thing is, to not share their feelings and never ask for help, especially when not anonymous. I hope I am not doing that here. I hope that I am doing some effort againstm myself for that. Most dfficult of all, sharing with you some of my feelings, asking for your help, trying to connect with you guys, and girls.
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Postby Bkhoa » Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:20 am

For "schizoid" guys, like me, who want to study deeper about themselves. I found this book enlightening "Disorders of the Self: New Therapeutic Horizons: The Masterson Approach". Theory, examples, treatement. It's also on borderline and narcissic personnality "disorder", I prefer the term personnality type.
Half of wikipedia pages comes from there. You can read it almost entirely on google preview (providing you take your time) :
- ... &q&f=false
- there is also this copy with less previewable pages : ... &q&f=false
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