Adult hobby as a last ditch effort

Postby DJCarlisle » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:22 am

I'm a middle-aged man living somewhere in America, and while far from affluent, I'm doing fairly well for myself. The rent is paid, the fridge is full, and I clearly have the internet. I'm attractive, charming, well-read, quick witted and conversational.

Yet for some reason, women avoid me like I have some type of fatal, virulent illness.

I've answered 30+ personal ads in the past two months and have gotten absolutely no response. Before moving to the west coast at age 34, I had been on four dates in my entire life. Two years ago, I was a FWB with a woman who dumped me because she started to fall for me. I met her at age 39 and were it not for prostitution, she would have taken my virginity.

Which is where the "adult hobby" comes in, which is a horrible euphemism for being a "john." Like most things I have an ambivalence towards it. One one hand, I get to shack up with women that at times look like adult film stars, and they won't say no, and if they do, they at least WILL TELL ME WHY. On the other hand, it's wicked expensive and I will miss out on the "L" word. I'm getting old and feel like I missed out on so much, and I'm also 100% certain no woman will ever love me. None have up to this point, so why would I believe that would change? Has anyone else had this problem?
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#1

Postby Candid » Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:23 am

DJCarlisle wrote: I'm also 100% certain no woman will ever love me. None have up to this point, so why would I believe that would change?


It's a truism that you have to love yourself first. Seems to me a career as a 'john' would be an attack on self-esteem. I wonder why you believe you can't do better?

Do you have male friends, maybe people you've worked with, present or former neighbours, people who share your interests and hobbies? These are all contacts who may be willing to tell you what you could be doing wrong, as well as maybe introducing you to the love of your life.

I wish you all the best.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:28 pm

DJCarlisle wrote:I've answered 30+ personal ads in the past two months and have gotten absolutely no response.


Personal ads? Why are you not using any of the online or dating apps? Tinder, eharmony, okcupid?
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