Did I abuse my sister?

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:29 pm

Hello,

I'm just wondering if anybody could give me there opinions on something that has been troubling me for years, sorry if this post is too long or if it bores you.

I'm a 29 year old guy and I think I suffer from Pure OCD with negative thoughts, I also get a little down, anxious and stressed sometimes but I try and handle it the best I can. I work hard, don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, eat and drink very healthily and I train 3 times a week whether it's running, using my exercise bike or using my rowing machine.

What's bothering me is I remember when I was a kid between the ages of 11 and 14 (I honestly can't remember how old I was and have only started remembering these things around 7/8 years ago) I played with my little sister. My sister is I think 3 years younger than me and we played a game where we pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend, we even had name we made up (Julie & Tony) and we (sorry this is very difficult to type as I feel incredibly bad about myself) kissed each other on the lips like a girlfriend and boyfriend would do as well as holding each other and cuddling where sometimes I'd put my hands on her bottom. Something else we'd do is lie on the bed whereby she'd lie on top of me and we'd kiss each other on the lips and I for some reason seem to think I might have held or rubbed her breasts although if I'm being honest I'm not sure if that's my negative thoughts because I'm not sure if negative thoughts, ocd, anxiety etc will play tricks on your mind and try to make you believe that you done something when you didn't/haven't.

We strictly did not have any form of sex at all and I absolutely did not touch her vagina or ask her to touch my penis nor did I get any erection or masturbate (the first time I masturbated was when I was 17/18 I think although I can't remember exactly and the I lost my virginity at 22).

I'm honestly concerned at this and I wasn't in any way, shape or form interested in my sister nor did I want to have sex with her. I'd watched films with love scenes in and stumbled across my older brother masturbating to a point film when I was younger but I wasn't and never will be interested in my sister in that capacity.

I sent my sister a message and said I was sorry if she didn't like this or what we done but she said she couldn't even remember it and to not be daft as kids do all sorts of things but I guess I just feel so terrible like I'm a sex offender or a monster.

I'm absolutely not interested in kids and have a fiancee who I'm marrying this summer but I haven't told her about my worries and anxieties (probably due to fear).

Sorry if I've rambled for too long.

I'm honestly tearing myself up over this but am not sure if my anxiety, ocd or stress is making it worse.

Thanks,
SimpleSi1988
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:53 pm

SimpleSi1988 wrote:I sent my sister a message and said I was sorry if she didn't like this or what we done but she said she couldn't even remember it and to not be daft as kids do all sorts of things...


There is your answer.

Don’t be daft.

There is your answer.

She couldn’t even remember.

YOU are trying to make absolutely nothing into something. I wonder why? Why...when your sister has given you a straight forward and very clear response are you not wanting to accept that response?

You don’t need any new answers in here to support whatever you are wanting to prove to yourself. Your sister is the only answer you need.

Drop it. Go find some new thing to obsess over.
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#2

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:22 pm

Hello,

Thanks for your answer, I respect the directness of it.

I guess the reason I'm not wanting to accept that response is because of my anxiety, pure ocd and stress I suffer from.

I know after doing a lot of research into anxiety, pure ocd and stress (although I haven't looked into stress as much as the other two) that your mind will take something what quite simply doesn'tneed to be worried about and make you ridiculously worry about it.

I have meditation recordings on my phone and drink camomile tea to try and help me to relax.

I have a few other worries which might not need to be worried about too.

Thanks once again.
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#3

Postby Kasper » Wed May 30, 2018 9:07 am

You certainly did not abuse her. Kids do that stuff. you are a complete moron for reminding her. very selfish. Dont ever bring it up with her again. Let it all go like it never happened. I can tell you probably it incredibly awkward if you went in all "sis I think I did a baaaaad thing", Dude next time you feel the need to dig some stuff up, approach it like it were normal BECAUSE IT IS! :) Its different if the two of you are tight. The worst thing you can EVER do is WORRY! Because that means you only suffer twice. Good luck with your "issues" lol sorry i have em too. be kind to yourself and be easy, your not hurt untill your dead and even then, youd be dead! nothing to worry about.
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#4

Postby DrPsychFeels » Wed May 30, 2018 6:57 pm

This is what OCD does. This is obsession. We come up with something to satisfy our need to have an obsession.

You are, for whatever reason, obsessing over this role-play with your sister. But again, it's not about the role-play and more about the obsessive nature of avoided anxiety.
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